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Author Topic: letitbenonmundane  (Read 45349 times)

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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #225 on: July 23, 2021, 02:09:51 PM »
A little over a month left before school starts back up.  Summers are so friggin short!  Especially when you're so friggin busy all the time doing not fun things.  Hopefully this resort calls me back because I want so bad to take my kiddos there before they have to go back to school.  I love my babies.  God, please always watch over and protect my babies.  Always.  Please.  Thank you.

He fishes so much I've made a habit of asking, "Did you go fishing today?"  LOL.  The other day his response was, "Are you kidding?  The water is 2 inches.  It's so dry, there's no fish."  Poor baby.  Last night I tried to teach him how to play texas holdem.  LOL.  I totally forgot how to play it.  It's been years.  I dealt him 5 cards and dealt myself 5 cards.  He was like, "Waaait a minute... you don't know how to play."  So, he googled how to play and we played a few hands.  He beat me, of course.  LOL.  I left early for work this morning (he was still sleeping) so I went in to kiss him bye.  He said, "I love you, Honey.  Have a great day.  Be safe."  It's been so long since I've felt like I mattered to someone in this way.  I'm thinking that I love him on a deeper level now.  I feel my love for him growing stronger every day.  Please, god, always watch over him and protect him.



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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #226 on: August 20, 2021, 04:16:43 PM »
The kids and I had a great time on our trip.  We did so much.  I cooked a lot on this trip.  Usually we just eat out but the place we stayed at had a kitchen so I made Uncle Ben's rice, sausages, stir-fry, bacon, eggs.  It was nice to have a kitchen and to be able to have hot food. 

Our first night there I made a bonfire and the kids and I roasted marshmallows.  A man came and sat on one of our chairs and started talking to us.  That was so rude!  He was super nosy and asked where we were from and everything.  I was so annoyed.  Made me miss having a man around to ward off idiots like that guy.  Next time M will be coming with us on our trips.

The kids enjoyed swimming in the pool at the hotel, the nice sandy beach, and playing mini golf. 

I do want to do one more trip while the weather is still warm, before fall comes.  We shall see if it happens.

I can't believe school is starting in less than 2 weeks again!  It's insane!  Where did the time go?  I can't believe how fast this summer went by!!!

M and I only went on 4 motorcycle rides this summer.  A drastic drop from last summer's 20+.  I've been super busy with my house.  The inside is almost done to how I want it.  Next is the outside.  My yard needs work.  I want to cut down the huge trees in my backyard so I have more sun to grow veggies.  We shall see if I get to tree cutting next year.  So many things to do being a home owner!  It never ends.  It sucks.  I still have to fix my deck railing, put new doors inside the house, install lights, etc.

Congratulation s to my cousin and his wife on their recent marriage.  Congratulation s to another awesome couple on their wedding too!  I told M how happy I was for the couples and their decisions to get married.  I told him that marriage, to me, symbolizes a strong commitment to one another.  How are people so sure that they want to be with each other forever?  And that I want that for myself as well: to be sure about somebody.  He was a little offended.  He was like, "You aren't sure about us?  Don't I show you true love?"  I felt bad.  I quickly told him, "Oh, yes, Honey, I feel your love.  I know we love each other."  I think having gone through one failed marriage it makes me a little jaded.  It's like I'm not wondering if people will break up but when.  I feel like I've become so cynical.  A non-believer in true, everlasting love.  I've experienced it and thus know and conclude, that love is super fragile.  The two people have to work at it every day.  It's like a fire that can go out.  You always have to tend to the fire, add more fire wood, to keep the flames burning.  While the fire is glowing strong, it's a beautiful sight to see.  But people have to remember to tend to the fire... But for me, though, when the fire goes out or when something starts to go wrong, my attitude is, "Oh well, time for bed!"  I give up quickly.  I don't want to spend the energy.  I feel like, "If it's going to be too much work, forget it.  Been there, done that, don't wanna waste my time."  But then M is always like, "Honey, it's so much easier to give up and be alone than to make a relationship work.  Relationships are hard.  But true love is the goal.  I want forever with somebody.  I want forever with you."  And thus, I'm like "Awww... OK, Honey, I love you too."  LOL.

I love my M.  He gives me butterflies still.  But why is it that I'm such a disbeliever in true love now?  It's not like true love is impossible.  It is very possible.  I know many couples that are still on their first marriage.  They are still together.  I also know those couples don't always get along.  They have disagreements.  I'm sure the fire has burnt out a few times but they lit it back up.  And they lit it back up because they both want to keep their marriage going.  They have kids together, they've built a life together... why give all that up?  That is good for the couples that keep up with their marriages and stay together.  I do want to find that too.  To find somebody who realizes that we'll have ups and downs but during the downs, we don't stop loving each other... we keep going.  I feel I may have found that with M.  He wants to make it last with me.  I do hope we last too.  I'm just very dubious when it comes to true love now.  I feel like love is fleeting and it changes day to day.  Who knows what will happen tomorrow.  So... we'll see... only time will tell how the story ends for this cynical girl who has lost so much trust in the probability of lasting love.


« Last Edit: August 20, 2021, 04:26:44 PM by lilly »

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Offline lilly

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Re: letitbenonmundane
« Reply #227 on: September 02, 2021, 02:14:37 PM »
Kids are in school again.  Surreal.  Three months is such a short a** time. 

Anyway, I love my neighbors.  They are really cool.  My neighbors on the left are walking my son and their daughter to their bus stop in the mornings.  They have been such nice neighbors.  Both neighbors on each side of me are very nice.  They are the same age or are close to the same age as me and their kids are around the same age as my kids too--that's cool.  The neighbor on the right asked me if I wanted to borrow their lawn mower when I was struggling with my lawn mower that one time.  I love that there are a lot of home owners around my age living in my neighborhood.  My neighbor on the left says that that's their forever home and that's where they will retire.  I feel the same way about my house too.  It'll be nice to grow old with my neighbors.

My kids' schools are really nice.  They still look new.  Well-designed and looks super modern on the insides.  Their schools were the main reasons why we moved to our current house. 



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