My mom still keeps her maiden name. She never took my dad's last name. Her SS# and driver's license has her maiden name but she is legally married to my dad (common law, of course). I always thought this was the norm to keep maiden name in the Hmong culture. To me, the surname thing was a Caucasian thing.
As for the person wearing the pants in the house and changing the last name to that person, my husband didn't take my last name when we first married and I was making more than he was. I took his name instead. Now he makes more than me. I personally feel that I like my man to be in charge and I love it when we're addressed: the (last name) family, Mr. and Mrs. (his last name), and Mrs. (his last name). I am proud to be his wife.
However, do what you want to do. This is what freedom is.