He works all week long and gets off late... so most of the time we see each other late in the night.
I brought it up to him the other day in a somewhat rude text message to him bc it annoyed me so much to the point I don't care to meet up anymore...
"Swear to god, If we're always going to meet up late, you can forget about it!"
I was shocked by his reply... he sounded annoyed.
"What's up...rebel, You've been real mouthy lately! You know I have to work all the time, you wanna take care of me instead?"
That's the closest thing I ever got him to being annoyed at me.
The day before, I messaged him, "maybe it's time we let go of this relationship, we're not going no where"
He called me within a minute of receiving my text and raised his voice at me...
"Here I am ducking working my ass off and I get this freaking message from you, I don't want to lose you, reb...love what we have. Were gonna talk about this tomorrow when we see each other...gotta go now, I'm still working" **click
He works so much, sometimes I forget I'm in a relationship with him. It's easy to stray at this point...he wouldn't care, maybe it's another test he's running me through...I feel like every little thing he do, is a test of some sort. And I test him too, in different ways... he watches me closely sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. .. but I always pretend like I don't know he is.
We finally met up and had "the talk." Again, I was too intoxicated to say much. Maybe he waited until I was drunk to have the talk with me.
"Were in a relationship, rebel... were exclusive now...you're my girl... my house is you're house...we're still legally married, don't forget....baby . what if we have a baby?...you want tacos...? Get your passport, lets travel. You're my Queen... knight in shining armor, we agree to no sex... ok no sex... I always got your back, don't worry. We have a amazing connection, rebel... I love everything about it...here's my password to my wifi connection etc etc "
I can only remember bits and pieces of our talk...rules and guidelines were set up... we both agreed. How weird going from casual to exclusive, to LETS BE IN AN EXCLUSIVE OPEN RELATIONSHIP!... wtf?!?
"I'll always ask you first and if you say no then it's no...honestly im not seeing anyone else... on my trip, I didn't duck any of those girls, I'm telling you everything, the truth! If I meet someone I might bring her into our relationship, if your ok with it but I'm not cool with other men in our business"
Wtf?!?
By then I drunk too much to care so I went along with it. If only he have known, I was on a date last Monday and canceled out on two dates, to go hang out with him instead.
It sounds disastrous somehow, this whole agreement thing...he'll say something like that then look at me with a serious look to see what I will say to him, while he hold his breathe in. In my head I'm thinking he's testing me? But I'm not sure. If he wants a on open relationship? why does he always call/text me about how much he misses me? To me personally when I have strong feelings for someone to the point I miss them, I wouldn't be able to date anther person. Maybe it's just me and maybe Men don't think the same way.
I looked at him; slurring my words..
"You know I won't remember any of this shit tomorrow... exclusive, open-house, baby, married, exes etc"
"I'll let you know...if you don't remember, ask me and I'll tell you"
I wish I could remember the rest of our conversation that night. Our drive lasted over two hours... we didn't get home until midnight . He ordered late night tacos... we watch some funny movies. And we headed to bed.
"No sex tonight" I managed to say to him before I rolled over and knocked out on my usual side of the bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night and he was on top of me...
"What part of NO SEX do you not understand, you freaking ****!" I kicked him off me, we struggled and both tumbled down the bed; him dragging me to the floor with him along with the blanket.
We were silent, sorta and he finished in his hands...
I can't believe this shit! When I got there earlier that evening, the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "no sex today alright?!" All the while he walked around the house with only his briefs on... like he was going to shower but never did. We need to reset this relationship..
I still don't know what we are. I felt like our talk went in circle, back to where it was at square one. Lmao
I'm not going to put up with this,.. or maybe I should go along and see where it leads even when I know I'm losing my feel for things and had voice it to him about it. He keeps wanting to continue...and I keep holding on to shit. But now that I'm sobered, I'm not willing to accept this crap of being open to others.