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Author Topic: Funeral for divorcee  (Read 565 times)

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Offline Kuvtsispaub

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Funeral for divorcee
« on: December 16, 2019, 11:40:47 AM »
Hi all,
I want to present a rising issue for us Hmong in the 21st century that still follows the old tradition. There has been many cases of husband and wife divorcing. Now when that happens, I understand that if something was to happen to the husband, heíll be taken care of by his family. But what about wife? If something was to happen to her, who will take care of her funeral? Iíd like to poke peoplesí brain about this topic.



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Offline hmgROCK

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2019, 11:50:08 AM »
Hi all,
I want to present a rising issue for us Hmong in the 21st century that still follows the old tradition. There has been many cases of husband and wife divorcing. Now when that happens, I understand that if something was to happen to the husband, heíll be taken care of by his family. But what about wife? If something was to happen to her, who will take care of her funeral? Iíd like to poke peoplesí brain about this topic.

Hey

Iíve been to many hmong funerals
Since you are asking
Here in the 21st century

Its the kids if they have any

Thatís why itís really important you have life insurance

You can pick whatever side you want to help with the funeral




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Offline hmgROCK

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2019, 11:53:10 AM »
When shyt hits the fan
Its your family
The kids


Your kids can decide if they wannna do shaman, church, or cremation

I been to one day funeral
And 3-4 days funeral
Some even a week long

Just depends on your budge



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Offline Kuvtsispaub

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2019, 04:37:21 PM »
I can see cremation and possibly church as an option. But if it was a Shaman funeral, wouldnít you need help from both sides? Also if itís shaman, how does the cuag tsav work? I thought they only send the diseased to be with the fatherís ancestors.



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Offline hmgROCK

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2019, 10:18:03 PM »
I can see cremation and possibly church as an option. But if it was a Shaman funeral, wouldnít you need help from both sides? Also if itís shaman, how does the cuag tsav work? I thought they only send the diseased to be with the fatherís ancestors.

Again

In the old fashion way
Its the kid that bury their parents
Same rules still apply 21st century

Can get help from both side
Friend, family, relatives, anyone

It vary a lot due to budget these days

You might or might not get to all those song
If its one day
They just chose a couple song to play and say

TRUST ME
YOU WILL BE TOO SAD TO EVEN KNOW WHICH SONG IS BEING PLAY




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Offline hmgROCK

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2019, 10:25:11 PM »
Alot of hmong funeral i got to

Start on Friday: killl cow, prep the funeral, get stuff ready
Saturday and Sunday: sing song, say, play qeej, show respect
Morning: guide the dead to the resting place

Thatís it
Typical

Some last one day
Usually Saturday or Sunday



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Offline hmgROCK

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2019, 10:26:30 PM »
Its hard man
Learning how to say and guide the dead back to his/her birth

Playing qeej

There are many songs



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Offline hmgROCK

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2019, 07:18:36 AM »
nobody can forced you to have a 3 day shaman funeral
if you don't have the money $$$$
espcially if your parent don't have any life insurance

i help managing one relatives funeral expense
it end up being like $60k for the regular 3 day
we were able to work with the funeral director
show him the parent $200k life insurance policy and he was able to give us
pre loan in advance...no payment for 3 month
it took us about a month to get to the $200k from the insurance

we kill like 7 cows
they were about $2k each
$2k  x 7=$14,000
yeah, it's expensive



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Offline Reporter

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2019, 11:29:40 PM »
There was a lady in Wisconsin a while back in this situation. Neither side took care of her, so the county and a nonprofit had to take over her funeral. But that is as only after her body was already ready to rot.



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Offline Kuvtsispaub

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2019, 11:46:01 PM »
Thanks for the insight. I didnít know there were different options, especially for traditional Hmong funerals. Iíve been to a funeral discussion where the primary family didnít have enough money to cover the cost and the outer family straight out and said that if there isnít at least $30k then the funeral can not proceed. $30k is practically a car, so to hear that it was needed right away is pretty daunting. Like how do you even collect $30k for a funeral?



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Offline hmgROCK

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2019, 01:27:13 PM »
Thanks for the insight. I didnít know there were different options, especially for traditional Hmong funerals. Iíve been to a funeral discussion where the primary family didnít have enough money to cover the cost and the outer family straight out and said that if there isnít at least $30k then the funeral can not proceed. $30k is practically a car, so to hear that it was needed right away is pretty daunting. Like how do you even collect $30k for a funeral?

what we did
was show the funeral director the $200k life insurance policy
he made some call to verify it's legit
than he just let us use his line of credit
until we were able to claim the life insurance
which took about a month for us

NEED TO HAVE LIFE INSURANCE
CAN"T STRESS IT ENOUGH



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Offline Reporter

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2019, 02:42:17 PM »
Oh, you didnít know?

If a dad dies, the sons come up with that money upfront. All that before any life insurance proceed is disbursed. If thereís no life insurance, then you lose your own money on it because thatís family.

If there are three sons, each comes up with 10K. If 2, then each comes up with 15K. If 6 sons, 5K each.

See? Itís good to have more male siblings.

The daughters are out. No responsibility unless they contribute voluntarily.

If mom dies, same thing.

If someone else dies, the circle of relatives pitch in from their pockets in small amounts like $50.00, $200.00, whatever each wants to contribute or from that family-invested account.





Thanks for the insight. I didnít know there were different options, especially for traditional Hmong funerals. Iíve been to a funeral discussion where the primary family didnít have enough money to cover the cost and the outer family straight out and said that if there isnít at least $30k then the funeral can not proceed. $30k is practically a car, so to hear that it was needed right away is pretty daunting. Like how do you even collect $30k for a funeral?


« Last Edit: December 27, 2019, 02:44:54 PM by Reporter »

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Offline hmgROCK

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #12 on: December 27, 2019, 10:19:18 PM »
Oh, you didnít know?

If a dad dies, the sons come up with that money upfront. All that before any life insurance proceed is disbursed. If thereís no life insurance, then you lose your own money on it because thatís family.

If there are three sons, each comes up with 10K. If 2, then each comes up with 15K. If 6 sons, 5K each.

See? Itís good to have more male siblings.

The daughters are out. No responsibility unless they contribute voluntarily.

If mom dies, same thing.

If someone else dies, the circle of relatives pitch in from their pockets in small amounts like $50.00, $200.00, whatever each wants to contribute or from that family-invested account.

Gotta have life insurance bro
Unless you can cough up $30k++
Those cousins and uncles
They donít give a shyt about you
When shyt hits the fan

Its you and your family



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Offline Reporter

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Re: Funeral for divorcee
« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2019, 11:34:27 AM »
 O0

Gotta have life insurance bro
Unless you can cough up $30k++
Those cousins and uncles
They donít give a shyt about you
When shyt hits the fan

Its you and your family



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