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Author Topic: Expectation of a daughter still living with her og parents  (Read 412 times)

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Offline DuMa

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Guys, I need you guys help in figuring out this Hmong custom or tradition.   I mean b4 I get with a homebound Hmong girl, I need to know this.

So what are the expectation of a Hmong daughter living in the household of her parents?

If you heard of real life cases, please do share.   

If she is too Americanize, would the Hmong tradition that binds her as a live in daughter would causes her to get depress or perhaps would want to run away?

Is this what was happening to the Hmong American women who ended up marrying young cuz they wanted out of this so called expectation of being a Hmong daughter?

Only choice is for the bf to take her away or her moving her ass out right?





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Offline DuMa

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Re: Expectation of a daughter still living with her og parents
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2020, 09:05:09 PM »
I copy this from an unknown source.  Hope it gives me an array of light cuz my viet side dont pressurize their daughter like this.

Being a Hmong daughter is her role. Being a mom, we just want to know what their daughter is doing. Being out of the house for several days and not coming home is not cool. Alot of people commute far to work. That's part of life. You drive there and drive back. If you decide you want to stay overnight because you're tired, fine, but not for weeks. They all need to work together and help each other out. Whether it be cleaning or cooking.

It's not like they treating her like nam yau. She is a daughter and that is what they expect of her. Just like that is what I expect of my daughters. I teach my kids that in order for us to survive, we need to help each other. That is what good daughters need to understand. If you dont want to help out, and get mad whenever your mom tells her she needs to cook and clean and not sleep all day then she needs to move out so she can do whatever she wants. Whether it be sleep all day, eat out, let the dishes pile up, dirty house,  that's your choice.



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Expectation of a daughter still living with her og parents
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2020, 02:34:53 AM »
After all these years, the answer was made clear to me that Hmong people have low expectations and are willing to settle for mediocre lives. It's only recently that younger folks actually want to get into career fields that are harder to attain. The Hmong are generally scared of failure so they shoot for low hanging fruit because it's a sure thing. Those who aim higher are actually accused of being arrogant, pompous, and snobby. If you display confidence, most Hmong will see that as very negative.

I posted awhile back about the kind of moral stories that are passed through generations. The messaging is awful when I think about them today. It explains a lot why Hmong girls do what they do and why. 

Don't be fooled by the small percent of successful Hmong individuals. They do not paint an accurate picture of the state of most Hmong today.



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Offline theking

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Re: Expectation of a daughter still living with her og parents
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2020, 12:43:41 AM »
Don't be fooled by the small percent of successful Hmong individuals. They do not paint an accurate picture of the state of most Hmong today.

Those that were given the "world" through their parents' sacrifices and have nothing to show for it such as being "flat broke" don't help the curve either...



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Offline Reporter

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Re: Expectation of a daughter still living with her og parents
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2020, 02:36:13 PM »
A Hmong daughter at home is a child to the family. There are no special expectations of her.

But when she's a dil, there are incredible expectations.

Guys, I need you guys help in figuring out this Hmong custom or tradition.   I mean b4 I get with a homebound Hmong girl, I need to know this.

So what are the expectation of a Hmong daughter living in the household of her parents?

If you heard of real life cases, please do share.   

If she is too Americanize, would the Hmong tradition that binds her as a live in daughter would causes her to get depress or perhaps would want to run away?

Is this what was happening to the Hmong American women who ended up marrying young cuz they wanted out of this so called expectation of being a Hmong daughter?

Only choice is for the bf to take her away or her moving her ass out right?



Like this post: 0

 

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