I'm not sure what we need to do to up our attractiveness, Lilly. What do you think?
I've seen the quick change, too.
I don't know either. But just based on observations only, I think the following can help:
- Be real. Be yourself.
- Don't make her feel like you expect her to live up to being a perfect Hmong woman or a perfect Hmong nyab (most Hmong women are over trying to be super woman, super nyab, and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders)
- Support her ambitions and drives
- Encourage her to do better, to be better without sounding judgmental or overly critical
- Show her you also have ambitions and a drive to succeed in life
- Be affectionate (women love being caressed and to know that you are attracted to her). Giver her hugs/kisses and cuddle with her. Some Hmong men are super un-affectionate. Such a turn off. Intimacy is crucial to a healthy relationship.
- Fulfill her needs.
- Be a great communicator, written and verbally. Send her texts/stay in touch with her throughout the day. In person, be a good listener. Also, be interesting and have good ideas and thoughts to share with her. Pay attention to the news and talk to her about what's happening in the world.
- Help her out. Be a team player. Let her know you guys are a team. That she's not alone. That she's not by herself and she doesn't have to handle everything on her own. You are her better half. You are there for her.
- Dance with her. Have fun with her. Make her laugh. Make her feel joy (and not sadness or stress or loneliness) when she's around you.
- Take her hand when you guys go for walks
- Be masculine. Make her feel like she's with a man.
- Make her feel protected.
- Don't make her have doubts.
Prove to her she's the only one for you.
- Be a good and loving and caring partner
- Be a good father (if you have kids)
I don't know. Those are some of the things I observed that some Hmong men lack... where they can do better at.