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Messages - P90xbox

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Online Journal / Re: Inside the Mind of a Silent Warrior
« on: October 07, 2017, 11:30:40 PM »
It's a gloomy looking park. The size and height of the trees tells me its been there a long time. Perhaps the 50-60s. A busy street runs by it. Although I don't think anyone really stop to take notice of it. It's not a very big park, and from a distance it probably looks more like a orchard. I mean I'd drove by it many times and it's this one time that I took notice of it. I've decided to stop by to take a little stroll. It felt sad, I feel a lot of sorrow. I thought to myself, there must have been something terrible that has happened here in the past or maybe the park was just sadden that nobody has really utilize it over the years. Maybe people are more interested in the new parks where it has water slides, skating areas or a cool playground. I walk to the car and Im sure at some time families would have picnics there, kids running around flying kites and shooting water guns. This park open my eyes. It spoke to me:

"you're a human, you can adapt and change to keep life interesting. I'm a park, I am stagnant, I get lonely when nobody comes. You have feet, you can talk, you can find a companion- but me, I can only smile when someone visits me. We're both only getting older, but the difference between you and I is that you have a choice. You can choose to smile more, laugh more, and change- the only thing that is changing about me is I'll will get older and less popular- if the city don't tear me down, the suffering will just be longer- for you, you have a choice..choose to be happy."

Online Journal / Re: Inside the Mind of a Silent Warrior
« on: October 07, 2017, 10:55:22 PM »
Yet, she left a mark on your heart -- one that cannot be seen, but will haunt your soul for the rest of your life.  You will wonder why a silent warrior was so caught up in his world of honor that he had lost that one percent of a chance to be with a simple girl.  You left without a word, but you left with unanswered questions.  She will certainly be okay.  The silent warrior will have lingering thoughts of her.

So many times I've been through this situation. After a while I just no longer feel guilty or cowardice. I do, its just more like I'm able to control my mind better now. Perhaps I need to reevaluate myself and change what is necessary. From this I learn that I need to be more versatile, I need to come in strong and finish out strong- Always be ready for anything. First impressions is more important than I thought. It's the foundation of how you represent yourself and give people a sense of what they can expect from you. I came into this gig too uptight. Everything was about the job. It's really hard for any silent warrior to go from laid back and uptight to outgoing and joyous. I know she will forget of me. If not, time shall give me, us, another opportunity. As they say, nice guys finish last.....

Online Journal / Inside the Mind of a Silent Warrior
« on: October 06, 2017, 01:38:15 AM »
Today was my last day at this gig I was working the past 2 months. I saw her sometimes. I see something in the way she look at me. But my mind is still stuck in the ancient ways where honor comes before all else. The modern alpha male probably wouldn't had wasted any time and hop right unto the first opportunity. Asked her out on a date before he leaves. But the silent warrior that I am. Left without a word. She will be okay.

General Relationship / Re: Benefits of Being Single
« on: September 23, 2017, 11:15:18 PM »
independence. solitude is a virtue.

General Relationship / Re: How to get out of a relationship
« on: September 10, 2017, 02:02:30 AM »
don't know the real reason or story...but when you don't feel the same or realize you never truly loved that person like you thought, then just own up to it and say you weren't being true to yourself or to him/her....most people i thin would be cool if you're honest and just admit you duck up. but if you got a psycho ass partner then either you abandon them or shoot them if they come near you.

dude...don't expect too much out of people dude. it make you look self entitling. people come and go all the time in our lives. you're not the only one dude....just go with the flow and flow naturally. don't over do things. esp. don't talk too damn much. keep everything to a moderation. if you lost contact with someone, no big deal dude. move on and don't give out your love so freely. because its easy come easy go baby....treat those girls the same you treat dudes. cuz its a different kind of breed of women now days...they are not the innocent sweet angels your grandma told you girls were so to treat them that way, but todays girls got vaginas with sharp teeth...

Television / beyond belief: fact or fiction
« on: November 27, 2013, 09:47:58 AM »
older television show but still fascinates me til this day. Was anyone of you into this show and do you think the factual stories claim in this show is legit? This show really got me thinking.

Online Journal / Re: thinking, rambling, daydreaming, talking out loud
« on: December 08, 2012, 08:36:16 AM »
the time has come, I can't cheat fate this time around. We shall meet again. Take care.

Online Journal / Re: thinking, rambling, daydreaming, talking out loud
« on: November 25, 2012, 10:27:04 PM »
"the worst part of growing old, is that nobody really see you as a dangerous person anymore"- forgot which movie it was from and the exact words..Some kind of war movie i think. Just a quote that got me thinking. Esp for my father. He was fearless I remember growing up. Now due to his aging, he can't really do anything independantly. Life is rather sad if you really think about it.

Online Journal / Re: thinking, rambling, daydreaming, talking out loud
« on: November 23, 2012, 09:22:53 PM »
decided to go the new year here just so some people would quit nagging me. haha...Turns out, it wasn't so bad after all. It's nice to see old faces here and there. But I still wished I would had seen some faces I truly miss. Some childhood friends I havn't seen since who knows when ago. It was refreshing to get out there and see many Hmongs in their colorful outfits.

Online Journal / Re: thinking, rambling, daydreaming, talking out loud
« on: November 21, 2012, 06:29:26 PM »
What am I thankful for? I'll have to think about it.  ;D Isn't that most of us? we take so much for granted.

Online Journal / Re: thinking, rambling, daydreaming, talking out loud
« on: November 20, 2012, 06:35:10 PM »
I can't remember the last time I've been to a Hmong new year celebration. it's funny how I remember an ex got mad at me b/c she wanted to go without me..So I admit I was young and insecure at the time....Last year however, my current girlfriend was upset at me b/c I didn't want to go...LOL I'm sorry but its very likely I'm gonna flake out this year too and for many years to come..LOL

Online Journal / Re: thinking, rambling, daydreaming, talking out loud
« on: November 20, 2012, 03:03:33 PM »
Thanksgiving, how come the family hasn't mention anything about a get together. Perhaps, I should host thanksgiving dinner then. If that happens, it means I'll have to buy everything cooked and lied that I did all the cooking myself. LOL

Online Journal / Re: thinking, rambling, daydreaming, talking out loud
« on: November 03, 2012, 10:21:35 PM »
Today, I remember the world that I had't forgotten in the past, the Hmong world.  The Hmong world is not very accepting of people who have ideas, dreams or achieve greatness in society.  Selfish bastards.  They have nothing to offer the world, except their trash talks and nasty attitudes. 

I went to lunch with a few Hmong colleagues.   In the office setting, they are so nice and proper just like every other colleagues.  As soon as they speak Hmong to me, their language, choice or words, oh man, bunch of vipers in their own ways.  So god damn prejudice in their thoughts and opinions.

You see.  I don't see the Hmong in you, until you start talking Hmong to me.  I must say, I'm a little disappointed in my Hmong peeps.

We can't do much about it can we? I given up helping my own people a long time ago. As I mention in the above, some people wont ever change. The way they think, and see the world. To me, it's all about survival of the fittest. It sound selfish, but in this crazy world, being too nice and caring- leaves you vulnerable.

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