PebHmong Discussion Forum

Creative Corner => Poetic Souls => Topic started by: yubnag on March 05, 2013, 02:39:42 PM

Title: A Waiting Story
Post by: yubnag on March 05, 2013, 02:39:42 PM
A Waiting Story

He smiles like a summer show
His words flow,
Crossing whispering windows,
Humming a tune of rue
He charges in willowing charm
A highlight,
Love takes flight
In the calm of life
Beauty beholds upon his heart
So innocent like the safety in his arm
I am undeniably captivated
Yet unbelievably liberated
If we are a song no one heard
then we live in the words
If you are just a daydream I yearn to hold
Then we are a story waiting to be told
Title: Re: Poem needs titling
Post by: violet on March 05, 2013, 02:40:46 PM
Titles are difficult..... ... but it's such a personal thing, I don't think I could do any justice by helping choose a title.


Excellent poem though.. great job. :)
Title: Re: Poem needs titling
Post by: yubnag on March 05, 2013, 03:34:19 PM
Titles are difficult..... ... but it's such a personal thing, I don't think I could do any justice by helping choose a title.


Excellent poem though.. great job. :)

Thank you! I'm open to any suggestion!  :)
Title: Re: Poem needs titling
Post by: violet on March 05, 2013, 03:38:10 PM
Thank you! I'm open to any suggestion!  :)






ahhh okay.. here are the titles that came to mind when I read your poem:


1. You can do the usual and use the first line of your poem as the title, and then have the title dip right into the poem, like this:


He Smiles Like a Summer Show


His words fly,
Crossing whispering windows,
Humming a tune of rue...


2. Other titles I thought of were:


Like a Summer Show
A Waiting Story
Love Takes Flight


As you can see, these are all lines taken verbatim from your poem.  ;D

Title: Re: Poem needs titling
Post by: yubnag on March 05, 2013, 03:52:02 PM





ahhh okay.. here are the titles that came to mind when I read your poem:


1. You can do the usual and use the first line of your poem as the title, and then have the title dip right into the poem, like this:


He Smiles Like a Summer Show


His words fly,
Crossing whispering windows,
Humming a tune of rue...


2. Other titles I thought of were:


Like a Summer Show
A Waiting Story
Love Takes Flight


As you can see, these are all lines taken verbatim from your poem.  ;D



Thanks! I love "A Waiting Story"! Thanks very much!
Title: Re: A Waiting Story
Post by: yubnag on March 06, 2013, 02:02:32 AM
Yubnag I love it!! Thanks for contributing. O0
Yubnag I love it!! Thanks for contributing. O0

Thank you!!!
Title: Re: A Waiting Story
Post by: proudlao on March 06, 2013, 07:19:38 AM
Nice, I would prefer the title to be "our words"
Title: Re: A Waiting Story
Post by: yubnag on March 06, 2013, 01:38:02 PM
Nice, I would prefer the title to be "our words"

That's also a great title proudlao! Thanks!

And like violet had mention, a title to a poem may be very personal, hence, "A Waiting Story".  :)
Title: Re: A Waiting Story
Post by: proudlao on March 06, 2013, 01:57:20 PM
Keep sharing  :)