PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => General Relationship => Topic started by: NkaujNom on October 12, 2016, 11:14:30 AM
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Before work, I stopped at a cafe for some hot chocolate and breakfast. While eating, a couple came and sat in the table in front of me. The lady pulled out her chair and was about to sit down. The man grabbed the chair and blocked the woman from sitting. She looked at him and then walked to the opposite side and sat down.
He then gave her an angry look and says, "I tried to be a gentleman and pull out the chair for you to sit. Are you embarrassed of me?" She responded, "No, I thought you wanted to sit there, so I came over here. Sorry. I'm not used to you pulling out my chair because you've never done that before..." Then she smiled at him and continued talking, "Thank you, but you don't have to do that. Just relax and let's have breakfast". The man sat down, picked up food and threw it at where the woman was sitting. She did not move. She then slowly took it, ate it, and said, "Don't throw my food at me anymore."
What is a gentleman? And how would you respond if you were the man or the woman?
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Yes, it was so awkward. Fighting while eating is always bad. If she already pulled out her chair, she is halfway to seating herself. The man was already too late anyways. And for her to not expect him to offer any assistance, just shows that she is independent. She was not rejecting him, so he did not need to be angry at her or throw food at her - especially if she had no idea what he was doing. It's unfortunate that unpleasant things like this even happen.
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Before work, I stopped at a cafe for some hot chocolate and breakfast. While eating, a couple came and sat in the table in front of me. The lady pulled out her chair and was about to sit down. The man grabbed the chair and blocked the woman from sitting. She looked at him and then walked to the opposite side and sat down.
He then gave her an angry look and says, "I tried to be a gentleman and pull out the chair for you to sit. Are you embarrassed of me?" She responded, "No, I thought you wanted to sit there, so I came over here. Sorry. I'm not used to you pulling out my chair because you've never done that before..." Then she smiled at him and continued talking, "Thank you, but you don't have to do that. Just relax and let's have breakfast". The man sat down, picked up food and threw it at where the woman was sitting. She did not move. She then slowly took it, ate it, and said, "Don't throw my food at me anymore."
What is a gentleman? And how would you respond if you were the man or the woman?
is it one of those places where you get your food first before sitting. they were just about to sit, how did he have food to throw at her?
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is it one of those places where you get your food first before sitting. they were just about to sit, how did he have food to throw at her?
Yes, this was at Tim Horton's. It's a cafe like Starbucks or Panera Bread. These places usually don't have wait service. You order your food/ drink and then you take it to your seat.
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Yes, this was at Tim Horton's. It's a cafe like Starbucks or Panera Bread. These places usually don't have wait service. You order your food/ drink and then you take it to your seat.
what did they ordered?
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the only time one should throw food at their mate is if they're going to lick it all off. :D ;D
a gentleman should be two steps ahead of their mate, not literally but mentally. if he was to pull the chair for her, he should have been more mindful of it and be first to act. if his action was delayed, could have stalled her a second by pulling/holding onto her hand and motioned to push the chair in.
a gentleman never show his negative emotions, all smiles, patience and politeness...h e waits for the right moment (usually alone time) to address his displeasure in his mate's attitude and/or behavior.
a gentleman should apologizes, whenever he makes his mate feel uncomfortable.
;D :2funny:
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what did they ordered?
Maybe OP is skipping past the minor details of the story?
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Definition of a gentleman: a man who has good/well behaved manners regardless of social status and isn't particular which people he is with at the moment to use respectful and considerate speech.
I would apologize, then sympathize with the person, and lastly ensure the person I will think of their feelings if it happens again, but that is the respectable me talking.
I really don't know, it depends on the situation and place.
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I need your opinion on something, Giggles.
How long does it take for a man to go from a gentlemen to being himself? Say in a relationship. Is it a ruse to get in a women's bed? Does he stay a gentlemen or is it pretty words and no good deeds done?
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Before work, I stopped at a cafe for some hot chocolate and breakfast. While eating, a couple came and sat in the table in front of me. The lady pulled out her chair and was about to sit down. The man grabbed the chair and blocked the woman from sitting. She looked at him and then walked to the opposite side and sat down.
He then gave her an angry look and says, "I tried to be a gentleman and pull out the chair for you to sit. Are you embarrassed of me?" She responded, "No, I thought you wanted to sit there, so I came over here. Sorry. I'm not used to you pulling out my chair because you've never done that before..." Then she smiled at him and continued talking, "Thank you, but you don't have to do that. Just relax and let's have breakfast". The man sat down, picked up food and threw it at where the woman was sitting. She did not move. She then slowly took it, ate it, and said, "Don't throw my food at me anymore."
What is a gentleman? And how would you respond if you were the man or the woman?
Definitely not ones that take advantage of women that are passed out by raping them without their consent. Then when those women pressed charge, they quickly try to sweep their deeds under the rug by asking the women they raped's hand in marriage...bec ause they don't want to wear the felony label of "sex offender" forever... ;D
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It is due to the fact that chivalry is dead. :2funny:
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I need your opinion on something, Giggles.
How long does it take for a man to go from a gentlemen to being himself? Say in a relationship. Is it a ruse to get in a women's bed? Does he stay a gentlemen or is it pretty words and no good deeds done?
Can't you be both? Finding a common ground to be yourself and show some gentlemen traits at the same time isn't very hard, right?
I am sure many men want a woman who can be themselves and be a "gentle-woman" or correct term "lady like".
If you are pretending to be a gentlemen only to gain sexual relations in a relationship then it's a "ruse", but as the relationship progresses, then anything can happen. You can either change completely or your true character will appear, which isn't bad. This by the way applies for both genders, no segregation among females or males LOL. Plus it depends if you love the person or not?
If I didn't care for the person, I would so toss the gentleman card and be myself. Most girls like the bad guy persona, I am being honest only. (I don't want back lashing from girls, now) :2funny:
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the only time one should throw food at their mate is if they're going to lick it all off. :D ;D
HAHAH!!! ;D
what did they ordered?
Not exactly sure. Either pancakes or some type of sandwiches and the hashbrown that the man threw. What does that have anything to do with the topic? Are you saying it was the food? :o
Maybe OP is skipping past the minor details of the story?
I'm just describing the situation according to what I saw and recall. I do not have any other extra details as to what happened before and after.
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It is due to the fact that chivalry is dead. :2funny:
WTF? That's so cliche. That's like saying ladies are dead and they're all hoes now. ::)
Can't you be both? Finding a common ground to be yourself and show some gentlemen traits at the same time isn't very hard, right?
I am sure many men want a woman who can be themselves and be a "gentle-woman" or correct term "lady like".
If you are pretending to be a gentlemen only to gain sexual relations in a relationship then it's a "ruse", but as the relationship progresses, then anything can happen. You can either change completely or your true character will appear, which isn't bad. This by the way applies for both genders, no segregation among females or males LOL. Plus it depends if you love the person or not?
If I didn't care for the person, I would so toss the gentleman card and be myself. Most girls like the bad guy persona, I am being honest only. (I don't want back lashing from girls, now) :2funny:
I feel that being a gentleman or a gentlewoman/ lady doesn't mean you have to put up a front just for the sake of your face. These should be a part of our character that is simply ingrained within us - either through learning, experience, genetic, or whatever. It's just who we are as a person IMO.
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Just like an old lady crossing the street, i helped her across but i held onto her purse, she beats me up with it.
The problem is some women do not deserve the chilvary coming from a gentleman. She were raised to be cautious n to handle her own business. By taking the other seat, she is dissing him and hurt that gentle guys feeling. She broke him down and he will forever be traumatized thus why he threw the food at her, his anti chilvary tactics.
Can't blame her though. Poor women might think that chilvary is a con artist way of getting into her pants. I mean i only open the doors for you is because i was checking out your azz.
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Bottom line is this. I can not win that gentleman award unless you comply and help me to become that gentlemen. Ruining my tactics n hurting ny feelings will have consequences. First is food throwing at you. Keep it up and ill exit the building through the back door by the bathroom and you will have to call uber for a ride home plus pay the tab.
Lesson learn. Let me be the gentle guy and just accept it. If i am not giving you the gentleman's treatment, another biatches will.
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Bottom line is this. I can not win that gentleman award unless you comply and help me to become that gentlemen. Ruining my tactics n hurting ny feelings will have consequences. First is food throwing at you. Keep it up and ill exit the building through the back door by the bathroom and you will have to call uber for a ride home plus pay the tab.
Lesson learn. Let me be the gentle guy and just accept it. If i am not giving you the gentleman's treatment, another biatches will.
So raw. Great point you brought up from the gentleman's perspective - she basically crushed his feelings and broke him down when she should've accepted his gentleness instead.
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Not exactly sure. Either pancakes or some type of sandwiches and the hashbrown that the man threw. What does that have anything to do with the topic? Are you saying it was the food? :o
just curious what she picked up and ate after it was thrown at her. for instance, i can understand a muffin, but something messy like hash browns? :idiot2:
doesn't seem like it's her first rodeo with a jerk.
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Before work, I stopped at a cafe for some hot chocolate and breakfast. While eating, a couple came and sat in the table in front of me. The lady pulled out her chair and was about to sit down. The man grabbed the chair and blocked the woman from sitting. She looked at him and then walked to the opposite side and sat down.
He then gave her an angry look and says, "I tried to be a gentleman and pull out the chair for you to sit. Are you embarrassed of me?" She responded, "No, I thought you wanted to sit there, so I came over here. Sorry. I'm not used to you pulling out my chair because you've never done that before..." Then she smiled at him and continued talking, "Thank you, but you don't have to do that. Just relax and let's have breakfast". The man sat down, picked up food and threw it at where the woman was sitting. She did not move. She then slowly took it, ate it, and said, "Don't throw my food at me anymore."
What is a gentleman? And how would you respond if you were the man or the woman?
Question is...., What is she?
Is she the type that brings the best out of a man or the opposite? I have seen both and I don't think I can make a conclusive comment whether or not he is a jark trying hard to play the role of a gentleman. Maybe he is a true gentleman but she is one who only brings the worse of others. We all have seen that type haven't we?
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Question is...., What is she?
Is she the type that brings the best out of a man or the opposite? I have seen both and I don't think I can make a conclusive comment whether or not he is a jark trying hard to play the role of a gentleman. Maybe he is a true gentleman but she is one who only brings the worse of others. We all have seen that type haven't we?
not much of a gentlemen right there :idiot2: :2funny:
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Duhhh :idiot2: :idiot2: :idiot2:
you don't know what a gentlemen is. LOL. your welcome btw :2funny:
a man who treats other people in a proper and polite way
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This two-faced kept on deleting posts. Not cool.
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Question is...., What is she?
Is she the type that brings the best out of a man or the opposite? I have seen both and I don't think I can make a conclusive comment whether or not he is a jark trying hard to play the role of a gentleman. Maybe he is a true gentleman but she is one who only brings the worse of others. We all have seen that type haven't we?
I think that people respond differently either by their own nature or choice. Some people take action based on their emotions instead of reason. Others act out of reason instead of emotions. If someone can only draw out negativity and those people let it overtake them, that really is just disaster. What if emotions can be better managed? Maybe there wouldn't be any occurrences like this or it could be minimized?
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just curious what she picked up and ate after it was thrown at her. for instance, i can understand a muffin, but something messy like hash browns? :idiot2:
doesn't seem like it's her first rodeo with a jerk.
Right. If it was the first time, most people would probably be surprised. They would've probably got up and left right away!
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Before work, I stopped at a cafe for some hot chocolate and breakfast. While eating, a couple came and sat in the table in front of me. The lady pulled out her chair and was about to sit down. The man grabbed the chair and blocked the woman from sitting. She looked at him and then walked to the opposite side and sat down.
He then gave her an angry look and says, "I tried to be a gentleman and pull out the chair for you to sit. Are you embarrassed of me?" She responded, "No, I thought you wanted to sit there, so I came over here. Sorry. I'm not used to you pulling out my chair because you've never done that before..." Then she smiled at him and continued talking, "Thank you, but you don't have to do that. Just relax and let's have breakfast". The man sat down, picked up food and threw it at where the woman was sitting. She did not move. She then slowly took it, ate it, and said, "Don't throw my food at me anymore."
What is a gentleman? And how would you respond if you were the man or the woman?
Wanting to pull a chair for her is considered gentlemanly manner but getting angry at her because of that missed opportunity isn't. A gentlemen doesn't lose his cool or make pettiness out of things. Anything a man does for a women out of respect, courtesy and perhaps chivalry is consider being a Gentlemen.
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Wanting to pull a chair for her is considered gentlemanly manner but getting angry at her because of that missed opportunity isn't. A gentlemen doesn't lose his cool or make pettiness out of things. Anything a man does for a women out of respect, courtesy and perhaps chivalry is consider being a Gentlemen.
Like I have mentioned before, if you are a gentleman, look for a real lady who appreciates your gentlemenly traits, otherwise you'll be in a world of confusion wondering if you are a gentleman or a stupid whimp with your unappreciated attempts to pamper a ghetto hoochie. No gawking way around it. You can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of her.
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Someone mentioned that a gentleman is always two steps ahead, mentally, physically. I concur.
I see so much chivalry at work. When a man opens a door for me, I quickly fasten my pace and thank him. I don't keep him waiting. The same for holding elevators, pulling out chairs, letting the ladies go first. It's very sweet and considerate. They don't have to but they do it.
In this story, even if the lady was surprised by his action, she did thank him. What may have triggered his reaction was when she told him he didn't have to and just relax. He did make an attempt. Even if delayed, he did try. However he killed it with throwing her food at her. That's like throwing food at a wild animal. Even feeding my dog, I don't throw food. That's definetly no gentleman. That's an assh0e trying very little to be nice for once. I would have dropped kick his butt.