argh.

[BIGBALLA]

LOL...most important things? i would imagine that the idea behind what was done is one of those things........

[BIGBALLA]

thats kinda hard to decipher.....w hat he was playing with my emotions ABOUT........t hat is important!!!!

[bootee]

Its been 5 days since I've had this soar throat. I hate waking up in the morning not being able to swallow. It hella hurts.  I've tried drinking hot tea, thera flu, and the warm water/salt thingy. Nothing is working. I'm in so much pain.
So, I had a dream that I went to the hospital and had the doctor check my throat. lol. Then I had a dream about an old friend. It was weird. I felt weird. lol. And then!! I had a dream about Ferry Corsten. ahaha!! and his wife was there too. So they were like horseback riding and we were vacationing with a bunch of friends. I see them and I yell out "Ferry Corsten!!" and he see's me so he smiles and points. Then they ride their horses towards us where I get a picture with him and his wife. LOL!!! Crazy I tell ya. Crazy!!

[bootee]

my lips are hella chapped. blah!!

anywho, i'm singing along to this song by Junkie XL, "Today" ..

You'’ve got the bluest eyes
That I have seen

Lost up in the skies
Caught in a dream

What you whisper to me
And breathe into my vains

And believe in magic
To wash away the stain

And it feels like today
So just hold on tight
And let it slip away

Give me all the weight
That holds you down

Don'’t let it stop
And burn in for the [sound]

And the world keeps moving
It's all we ever known

And the know inside that
I'll never be alone

And it feels like today
So just hold on tight
And let it slip away

[BIGBALLA]

my eyes are blue!!! sometimes...LO L

[bootee]

sometimes? that's hella scary. LOL

[BIGBALLA]

sometimes they are green...someti mees they are grey....LOL

[bootee]

why do i feel smothered?

sometimes i choose not to talk to anybody. its not that i don't want to talk to you. i might not feel like talking to you. or i dont' have anything to talk to you about. heck, maybe i don't even want to see you. and when you're trying to hella talk to me and i'm not feelin' it ...it just annoys the shit outta me. i've been staying at christine's lately. and when i'm home i'm always in my room. doesn't that say something?
heck, those months when i was a hermit and staying in my room ...that told me alot. but now i have a stronger feeling about what i've been feeling. its time to move on. its not like they're helping me anymore. its time to be on my own.

man, i got like this little thingy on the top of my mouth that is hurtin' like a mofo!! yesterday, swallowing was hard cuz i'd hit it with my tongue but its alot better today. um, maybe i'll go have some pho to go today. and lately, the viet sandwiches haven't been so good. i mean, its not like how it was!! i've had 2 since last week and both those 2 times its been kinda nasty tasting. hella dry and shit. knaw mean?! lol.

i'm debating if i should put in a 30 day notice or 60 days. leave at the end of june or something. um! decisions decisions decisions!!

[BIGBALLA]

60 to move? or quit job?

[bootee]

to move. i never said anything about quitting.



anywho, i'm gonna go home next weekend. talk to my Mom and seek for advice.
after that i'll decide what i'll do.

[bootee]

I've been listening to ...

Chris Lake Ft. Emma Hewit - Carry Me Away

Down, the water holds me down, it's like I have no weight
And now, I'm floating with the tide, the sun is on my face
And I hear you talking, I hear you speak, someone's talking saying something
But I'm on my own, there's nothing left to say, it carries me away

And you call out, I can't hear you, I can't feel you, no I can't feel nothing
And you call out. I can't hear you, no I can't hear nothing
And you all look the same, now
You all look the same, now

Now, there's nothing that I want, to take me from this place
I'm drifting further with the tide, that carries me away
And you call out, I can't hear you, I can't feel you, no I can't feel nothing
And you all look the same, now
You all look the same, now

I know you're trying hard to reach me
You'll always feel the cold without me
I know you're trying hard to reach me
You'll always feel the cold without me
I know you're trying hard

[bootee]

why is it that I like how things were back then than now? too many people trying to change at the same time and really ...its just getting on my nerves. i know people cant stay the same but they're not who I use to know anymore and I rather just be by myself. call me when its you.

[bootee]

I was jammin' this today ..

BT - Break My Fall

You enter the room
You brighten the darkness my love
In moments with you
There is no ending or beginning in you

Move to the floor
The purpose combined my love
Like motion of stars
Dynamic symmetry in mind

Break my fall
I found what is missing inside you
Break my fall
Na na na na na na na
Break my fall
I found what is missing inside you
Break my fall
Na na na na na na na

Always with you
Connected by blood my love
A purpose fulfilled
You're my light in this dark, dark world

I've spoken within
I feel complete my love
The moments apart
Creating a light in the dark

Break my fall
I found what is missing inside you
Break my fall
Na na na na na na na
Break my fall
I found what is missing inside you
Break my fall
Na na na na na na na

[bootee]

Let's see ..

This weekend after Armin I'm gonna go home and take my Mom out. Hopefully I'm not too faded. I plan to wake up at 9am to leave to Merced. lol. 4 hrs of sleep is okay. I hope. Anywho, I'm gonna ask my brother if he can sell my gsr and buy me a '95 Acura Legend. I'm tired of being harrassed and stuff. I just need a normal car to get me from point A to point B. And I've been thinking alot about this ...couldn't figure out what kind of car I wanted until now. Yea, Acura Legend ..leather interrior would be nice too.  Lets see if he lets me. He can sell my car, buy me the Legend and then keep whatever $$ that is left since the gsr was given to me from him for free.

That sounds like a great idea. I hope he goes for it. I mean, I don't want another fix it ticket or to get pulled over. and if the Legend is in good condition I'll drive it everywhere. forget a rental. ahahaha

[bootee]

You know what I want for my Birthday? I want a record player. Yea, that's what I want.