Eve of Eden...

[BeautifulDisaster]

01/04/10

Beautiful By. Eminem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you

I'm just so fu-ckin' depressed
I just can seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump
But I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumps
Fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up
And the right thing for me to pick that mic back up
I don't know how I pry away
And I ended up in this position I'm in
I starting to feel distant again
So I decided just to beat this pain
Up and tried to make an attempt to vent
But I just can't admit
Or come to grips, with the fact that
I may be done with rap
I need a new outlet
I know some shits so hard to swallow
And I just can't sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow
But I know one fact
I'll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to follow
Copy
One tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow
But you have to walk a thousand miles

Chorus
Walk my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
All be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Looking shit through each other's eyes

But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fu-cked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo
Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo
They can all get fu-cked. Just stay true to you sOoOoo

I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humor
Everything is so tense and gloom
I almost feel like I gotta check the temperature in the room
Just as soon as I walk in
It's like all eyes on me
So I try to avoid any eye contact
Cause if I do that then it opens a door to conversation
Like I want that...
I'm not looking for extra attention
I just want to be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room
Maybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need fu-cking man servin'
Tryin to follow me around, and wipe my ass
Laugh at every single joke I crack
And half of them ain't even funny like that
Ahh Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, god damn
Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit down
Listen to the tale I'm about to tell
Hell, we don't have to trade our shoes
And you don't have to walk no thousand miles

Chorus*

Nobody asked for life to deal us
With these bullshit hands with doubt
We have to take these cards ourselves
And flip them, don't expect no help
Now I could have either just
Sat on my ass and pissed and moaned
But take this situation in which I'm placed in
And get up and get my own
I was never the type of kid
To wait but I know to unpack his bags
Never sat on the porch and hoped and prayed
For a dad to show up who never did
I just wanted to fit in
Every single place
Every school I went
I dreamed of being that cool kid
Even if it meant acting stupid
Aunt Edna always told me
Keep making that face till it gets stuck like that
Meanwhile I'm just standing there
Holding my tongue up trying to talk like this
Till I stuck my tungue on the frozen stop sign poll at 8 years old
I learned my lesson and cause I wasn't tryin to impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life story
Not just based on my description
Cause where you see it from where you're sitting
Is probably 110% different
I guess we would have to walk a mile
In each other's shoes, at least
What size you where?
I wear tens
Let's see if you can fit your feet

Chorus*

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
Where they can be alone... sOoOoo
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through OoOo
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you sOoOoo Oo Oo

Yea... To my babies. Stay strong. Daddy will be soon
And to the rest of the world, god gave you the shoes
That fit you, so put em on and wear em
And be yourself man, be proud of who you are
Even if it sounds corny,
Don't ever let no one tell you, you ain't beautiful

[BeautifulDisaster]

01/05/10

I got up extra early this morning because it was so cold. I made a cup of coffee and then I went to watched the purple-ish pink sky slowly fading to a blue, I am weary but I know the time has come…I have a few weeks left…. I am scared. I hate change but this time imma dive into my fear and swim through it to get to the other side….

[BeautifulDisaster]

01/06/10

Chanel Fashion Show Spring/Summer 2010

They're fashion line for summer and spring is so cute!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qheDuvCL2Ts

[BeautifulDisaster]

01/17/10

I caught a beautiful rainbow today while I went shopping...too k it with my phone so it a bit hazy....

[BeautifulDisaster]

01/19/10

Anyhow this morning I got pulled over by the most gorgous guy cop...Thanks to the rain and bad weather, I didnt see him behind me. I was really in a rush to get the hell out of the rain...So when I saw the red light flashing behind me and the one-time siren to warn me to pull over I nearly had a heart attack. I pulled over and did you know why he stopped me???... To tell me that my license plate was missing a screw. It was a warning and that I have to get it fixed. OMG! I think he just wanted to scare me....


Anyways I thought I share what I had for lunch today....

[BeautifulDisaster]

01/20/10

Afternoon:

I took Charleston out for a jog today but the lake was closed. Its been closed for the last two days, so Im guessing its becos of the rain. Well, I ended up grabbing  lunch instead and took him for a walk at a nearby park...Anyways I think its time to get back in the game and start exersising again. I been slacking off since the holidays and eating really unhealthy food...He! Im even posting it up so i can keep tabs...
Dragon Maki



Anyways heres a picture of Charleston...H e never sits still so I had to hold him...

[BeautifulDisaster]

01/24/10

Beautiful & Infamous Women From 18th Century

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H14R8rvT8SI

[BeautifulDisaster]

I feng shui my office earlier, feel kind of emo lately, so been listening to sad songs…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo8G1fXqKTw

Anyhow, I have a lot of pics to share but since im too emo, imma’ do it another day…

[BeautifulDisaster]

I have an empty hole in my heart, like something big is missing. I have no reason to feel this way. And I can’t figure out what is missing…..
Perhaps a vacation is what I need…..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFTzZDMM

[obscurity]

sometimes what we're missing has always been there all along, and we may only see that new perspective on a different day

[BeautifulDisaster]

02/23/10

Pattern for Smartness 1948

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saJ6S2lcPNE

Dolce Gabana-- Milan Men Fashion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKtbiZ3kS5I

Over the weekend I drove to LA and went shopping at the Fashion District. Got nothing, like usual, but a few pieces of fabric for my next project. And I boy tell ya’, these fabric were not cheap! They were 9.00 a yd and I could of gone to yardage town or something and got them for a better price….but the selections they had was Phenomenal. I was flabbergasted when I got into Micheal’s Levines, it was fabric galore!!!!!

Anyhow, just been looking for some inspiration…..

[BeautifulDisaster]

03/05/10

"I believe there are monsters born in the world to human parents.  Some you can see, misshapen and horrible, with huge heads or tiny bodies; some are born with no arms, no legs, some with three arms, some with tails or mouths in odd places.  They are accidents and no one's fault, as used to be thought.  Once they were considered the visible punishments for concealed sins.

And just as there are physical monsters, can there not be mental or psychic monsters born?  The face and body may be perfect, but if a twisted gene or malformed egg can produce physical monsters, may not the same process produce a malformed soul?

Monsters are variations from the accepted normal to a greater or less degree.  As a child may be born without an arm, so one may be born without kindness or the potential of a conscience.  A man who loses his arms in an accident has a great struggle to adjust himself to the lack, but one born without arms suffers only from people who find him strange.  Having never had arms, he cannot miss them.  Sometimes when we are little we imagine how it would be to have wings, but there is no reason to suppose it is the same feeling birds have.  No, to a monster the norm must seem monstrous, since everyone is normal to himself.  To the inner monster it must be even more obscure, since he has no visible thing to compare with others.  To a man born without conscience, a soul-stricken man must seem ridiculous.  To a criminal, honesty is foolish.  You must not forget that a monster is only a variation, and that to a monster, the norm is monstrous."
--John Steinbeck, East Of Eden Ch 8


East of Eden starring James Dean (1954)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RAoXn0RGgQ

[BeautifulDisaster]

03/12/10


The clouds from my bedroom/bal.

[BeautifulDisaster]

03/19/10


Ua Cas Tsaus Ntuj Nti

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUIDkIMi8Fg

[BeautifulDisaster]

03/26/10

Chin - Term Mai Koey Tem (Eng Subs)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkU4tlWv0FY

Gosh, can he get any hotter!