luvly....is she really?

[aboo]

(((HUGS))) to you luvly   I hope 2014 brings forth someone who can sing the song to your heart without asking you for the words

[luvlylisa]

(((HUGS))) to you luvly   I hope 2014 brings forth someone who can sing the song to your heart without asking you for the words

awww, thnx. Appreciate it. I hope i may find someone but right now i just want to sing a merry song n go on my way.

[luvlylisa]

it's OK to sit and reminiscence but it's not OK to relive the past....it's the past for a reason--it's not the present nor will it ever be ur future again.  remember what it once was and know that it only is to make u a better person who will only stand firmer, live stronger, and luv even harder.  turn back around and look on to the path ahead--it may be lonely but it will most definitely lead to great things.  and then one day you will look back and be glad that u didn't turn and run away from what was awaiting u. stay strong and know with strife and struggles eventually comes happiness.  u'll taste the sweetness after tasting the bitterness and sourness--it'll be worth it.

[luvlylisa]

been up all night...didn't even go to bed.  running on three hours of sleep from the previous night.  even i am surprised i'm not falling asleep as i'm typing.

[zena]

luvlylisa, you remind me of myself when I was in my 20's...although, I have no idea what your age is.

I'm glad that you've discovered your true strength in relationships (whether it be with a guy, family, or friends).  It is after the pain that we find our direction.  Wishing you a happy new beginning in 2014.

[luvlylisa]

luvlylisa, you remind me of myself when I was in my 20's...although, I have no idea what your age is.

I'm glad that you've discovered your true strength in relationships (whether it be with a guy, family, or friends).  It is after the pain that we find our direction.  Wishing you a happy new beginning in 2014.

thanks moonangel.  if only i could still be in my 20's.  *sigh* but I'm actually in my early 30s.  i've not been sheltered though i've gone through a bit i have not been through a lot perhaps that's w caution or other reasons but yes, relationships no matter what age is quite the learning experience.

[luvlylisa]

Yay!  Way to turn the start of my year around!    I just submitted my grad school app!  Unfortunately, I won't hear anything until another month or so though.  I'm ready for new things and ready to find and discover a new me.  Yes, let's go!

[luvlylisa]

all this time....everyo ne knew and no one told me.  all bc they didn't want to hurt my feelings.  really?  so instead u all sat around and let me make a fool of myself....laug h at me as if i was a joke........le t my heart get pulled back and forth with by these strings and no one wanted to say a word?  wow, i have the greatest of friends.  thanks.    thanks a lot! 

[proudlao]

Lisa, new year new friends?
 
Good morning.

[luvlylisa]

Lisa, new year new friends?
 
Good morning.

yea, widening...exp anding this circle of mine.

[aboo]

Luvly I've been there....it's very sad and mean of your 'friends'.  Keep your head high and make new friends

I've hurt the feelings of my friends before....beca use I'm their true friend and they needed to hear it even when it hurts.  I believe friends are the ones who are still there through unpleasantness and honesty...

[luvlylisa]

Luvly I've been there....it's very sad and mean of your 'friends'.  Keep your head high and make new friends

I've hurt the feelings of my friends before....beca use I'm their true friend and they needed to hear it even when it hurts.  I believe friends are the ones who are still there through unpleasantness and honesty...

yes.  I am a very honest person--even if it means it may sting a little.  I rather my friend hear it from me than from a stranger or have her/him come back to me and ask me why i never told them.  Why would I want them to be a fool or a joke?  I would only expect my friends to do the same.  But I guess not everyone thinks the same nor sees friendship the same.  So can I blame them?  Not entirely.  But it still hurts knowing that all this time they knew that I'd end up getting hurt and instead of being honest w me they wanted me to "feel it out" and digest whatever feelings and emotions I was having or going through.  Hello!  Do you not see me stressed and frustrated?  Do I not come and unravel myself in front of u and tell u my pain and cry tears of confusion.  If you know you could slap some sense into me and tell me not what i want to hear but what i needed to hear and tell me the truth--even if it meant I'd be upset and cry even more--why bother to hide it from me and have me be a sad puppy and have such high hopes of something that was never going to happen?  WTF?  Instead every day when I make a fool out of myself and end up crying to myself all those around who were very aware of the "situation" simply just watched me and laughed at me the whole time.  Wow, and yet you all tell me that ur my friend and am there for me--that u have my back.  My back in what?  U have my back in making me look like a fool?  There's one thing to letting ppl learn life lessons and there's another thing when u know they're blind and totally getting screwed.

now, I am not blaming anyone for my actions or the result in this relationship or lack there of of one. I know and totally take responsibility to my acts, words, patience, and doing whatsoever.  In ways I let things happen to me as well--understood and acceptable.  But knowing that this all could have been avoided and these past years could have been something else.  *sigh*

could of, should of, would of.......but no point now--it's all a memory now. 

[luvlylisa]

Yay, just one more thing to do and then I can breath a little more knowing that my grad school application is completely done.  I'm excited and nervous--apprehensive all together.  Will I get in?  I don't know.  I wasn't the greatest student in college as my sophomore and junior year I was struggling with a lot at home and personally which made school the last thing on my mind which then affected my GPA immensely. Despite that, at least I never dropped out but kept trucking along. I'm ready for something new and this time doing something for myself--to better myself.


on another note....damn this winter weather!  I'm ready for sandals, shorts, and t-shirts!  yes, I'm already thinking about summer.

[zena]

luvlylisa, that's great you got the application in!  I wasn't the greatest undergrad either but I was able to get into a master's program (although I only went one year and stopped), so I know you'll do fine. 

[luvlylisa]

luvlylisa, that's great you got the application in!  I wasn't the greatest undergrad either but I was able to get into a master's program (although I only went one year and stopped), so I know you'll do fine. 

Thanks.

Yeah, professionally, I'm at a place where I feel I need to "up my game" thus going back to school if I want something "better".  It's exciting but knowing that I'll have a ton of reading to do and more long papers-urgh, I'm dreading that.  I have yet to get my essay in though--that's the last of the application process I've yet to do.  Having a few ppl revise it before I send it in. I most likely won't hear until the end of February or March.  I'm just hoping things will work out since my program won't start until summer and I have summer camp so there needs to be some kind of balance.