On my exciting and amazing journey to the stars.....

[Ajax616]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGnfqRR509M

Eva Cassidy, Imagine

Imagine
John Lennon, Plastic Ono Band
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

[Ajax616]

Connie, You are truly one the most wonderful, loving, capable, amazing, beautiful and kind person that I have ever met. You surpass all the the criteria.  I know why my subconscious mind keeps sabotaging us.  It does make sense to me in the long run.  One day, hopefully, you will understand it as well.

[Ajax616]

I wrote this myself yesterday: I am feeling sick today, because I did something which is not OK with my internal system. I hurt someone who is all good and exceptional and loves every moment of being with me. I love you forever.

[Ajax616]

While I am here writing the happiness equation, I am thinking of the negative emotions that I have created in one of the most beautiful person that I have ever met.  I feel like such fool and a disgrace to my principles for this failure.  However, it does make sense to me, why this is the lesser of the suffering, with that I do have some peace. I do miss those dimples Abi.

[Ajax616]

"Becoming awake involves seeing our confusion more clearly." - Rumi

[Ajax616]

Do you believe it?  My girlfriend gave me a gold necklace for our first Christmas.  I still could not believe it.

[Ajax616]

To my amazing daughter Lxxx, you are such a blessing in my life, even from an early age.  You are very talented, beautiful inside and out, compassionate, a deep thinker, and I think you will be an amazing being of this planet when your life is done.

[Ajax616]

A long time ago, I bought a beautiful pair of Bruno Magli at size 7.5 for $175.00 because that is actually a discount.  It was beautiful with buckles and all.  I was in pain every time I wear it because it was .5 size too small and it never stretched to fit me despite all my pain and suffering.  One day, I gave up and donated it.

Now I have come to appreciate getting larger dress shoes, I get them larger at 9 now.   

[Ajax616]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_Wocfr75kg

Yellow
Coldplay
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they were all yellow
I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow
So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know you know I love you so
You know I love you so
I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
Cause you were all yellow
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know
For you I'd bleed myself dry
For you I'd bleed myself dry
It's true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for
Look how… Full lyrics on Google Play

[Ajax616]

I am sorry.....but believe me, it was the best decision for us.  You can't see the ways of heart, but that is all I see now a days. I told myself that I will have peace in 2016, and I meant it.  I will not be unkind in 2016.

[Ajax616]

Fudge.....Some people just don't know how to quit and take no for an answer.

[Ajax616]

My beautiful angel, I hope the stars will forgive me for hurting you, but it is for peace for others.  I will always love and cherish our memories and your love for me.  When there's peace, I will find you and make it up to you.

[Ajax616]

When I hurt someone as beautiful as you, I am wrong....When you say you're hurt.....I am wrong.  That should be the law of life.

[Ajax616]

Ryonen's Clear Realization

The Buddhist nun known as Ryonen was born in 1797. She was a granddaughter of the famous Japanese warrior Shingen. Her poetical genius and alluring beauty were such that at seventeen she was serving the empress as one of the ladies of the court. Even at such a youthful age fame awaited her.

The beloved empress died suddenly and Ryonen's hopeful dreams vanished. She became acutely aware of the impermanency of life in this world. It was then that she desired to study Zen.

Her relatives disagreed, however, and practically forced her into marriage. With a promise that she might become a nun after she had borne three children, Ryonen assented. Before she was twenty-five she had accomplished this condition. Then her husband and relatives could no longer dissuade her from her desire. She shaved her head, took the name of Ryonen, which means to realize clearly, and started on her pilgrimage.

She came to the city of Edo and asked Tetsugyu to accept her as a disciple. At one glance the master rejected her because she was too beautiful.

Ryonen then went to another master, Hakuo. Hakuo refused her for the same reason, saying that her beauty would only make trouble.

Ryonen obtained a hot iron and placed it against her face. In a few moments her beauty had vanished forever.

Hakuo then accepted her as a disciple.

Commemorating this occasion, Ryonen wrote a poem on the back of a little mirror:

    In the service of my Empress I burned incense to
        perfume my exquisite clothes
    Now as a homeless mendicant I burn my face to
        enter a Zen temple.

When Ryonen was about to pass from this world, she wrote another poem:

    Sixty-six times have these eyes beheld the changing
        scene of autumn
    I have said enough about moonlight,
    Ask no more.
    Only listen to the voice of pines and cedars when no
        wind stirs.

[Ajax616]

Ryonen's Clear Realization

The Buddhist nun known as Ryonen was born in 1797. She was a granddaughter of the famous Japanese warrior Shingen. Her poetical genius and alluring beauty were such that at seventeen she was serving the empress as one of the ladies of the court. Even at such a youthful age fame awaited her.

The beloved empress died suddenly and Ryonen's hopeful dreams vanished. She became acutely aware of the impermanency of life in this world. It was then that she desired to study Zen.

Her relatives disagreed, however, and practically forced her into marriage. With a promise that she might become a nun after she had borne three children, Ryonen assented. Before she was twenty-five she had accomplished this condition. Then her husband and relatives could no longer dissuade her from her desire. She shaved her head, took the name of Ryonen, which means to realize clearly, and started on her pilgrimage.

She came to the city of Edo and asked Tetsugyu to accept her as a disciple. At one glance the master rejected her because she was too beautiful.

Ryonen then went to another master, Hakuo. Hakuo refused her for the same reason, saying that her beauty would only make trouble.

Ryonen obtained a hot iron and placed it against her face. In a few moments her beauty had vanished forever.

Hakuo then accepted her as a disciple.

Commemorating this occasion, Ryonen wrote a poem on the back of a little mirror:

    In the service of my Empress I burned incense to
        perfume my exquisite clothes
    Now as a homeless mendicant I burn my face to
        enter a Zen temple.

When Ryonen was about to pass from this world, she wrote another poem:

    Sixty-six times have these eyes beheld the changing
        scene of autumn
    I have said enough about moonlight,
    Ask no more.
    Only listen to the voice of pines and cedars when no
        wind stirs.

Ryonen, I feel your suffering.