I like recording the dreams I recall...this one was from last night.
I dreamt that my mom, one of my sisters, and I were eating out at this crowded Chinese restaurant after a long day of shopping. When we were just about done, the waiter brought us the tab and I looked at the receipt only to realize they totally overcharged us. With a mouth full of food, I stood up and demanded the waiter recalculate everything we bought. As I was trying to figure out how much I still owed, I saw this handsome guy at the corner of my eye. His figure was familiar but I couldn’t make him out. Anyways, he handed the waiter $19 to cover for the remaining charges. I turned my head to glance at him and smiled while thanking him. He got his navy blue coat, grabbed his girl's hand, and walked out of the place afterwards. Then my mom says to me, “Naib, tus tub ntawd yog leej twg es ua cas nws hos lam muab nyiaj los them rau peb cov mov? Koj puas paub nws?” And then….and then….that figure finally came to me. It was KPX! How could have I forgetten him? As soon as I remembered, I ran after him. I got out to the parking lot and tried to track him down. Everywhere I looked I just saw random Hmong people walking around. My heart was beating because I wanted to see him right then. I was about done searching when all of a sudden to my distance left I see a car with someone sitting in there. “Is it him?” I thought to myself. The guy looked over and noticed me so he got out of his car. It’s KPX! I ran over to him and hugged him. He didn’t say one word but just embraced me. After being nestled in his arms for a few seconds, I tilted my head up and asked him where he went all this time. I asked him if he was happy with his girl…..I asked him if he forgot about me. He told me he was still with his girl but he never stopped thinking about me. He told me that if I had allowed myself to fall in love with him….we could have been in each other’s arm all the time like this. The dream became a blur after that….
It’s been so long….I don’t know why KPX came to me last night. Maybe he got married. *sighs*
I secretly long just to be in someone's arms. All my life I've always carried all this weight...troub le....tears... ..on my own. I wonder what it would be like to have a protector....