Vim kuv tsis paub.

[MSV]

Everyone around me is popping babies. Ua rau kuv ntshaw ntshaw ua ib tug mommy thiab. 

[MSV]

http://youtu.be/Mx4zgTvnVh8

*sighs*

    

Because I also know the feeling of loneliness.

Thank you for reminding me of how fortunate I am....how much I am surrounded by the love of my family. I hope you will someday find that warmth so you too will understand what's it like to have a real family. *hugs*

I know....

[MSV]

Back-to-back episodes of "Impractical Jokes" tonight. Can't stop laughing....

[MSV]

Up 2 something in the morning. Can't sleep so what do I do.....wrap xmas presents. Yay!

Christmas is almost here. I'm more excited just to be off work.

[MSV]

Up watching talents showcased at the Hmong New Years happening all across the globe.

Zoo siab yug los ua hmoob ib zaug. Lwm tiam los thov rov los hmoob dua thiab.

Stumbled upon a pretty awesome performance. I like lots!

http://youtu.be/JUZsyEXhc4M

[MSV]

I noticed while fiddling with my phone today that I never use my left hand to text. I tried using both thumbs like I've seen a lot of people do and it was not working for me. LOL.

****

Xmas with the fam was wonderful. Got a huge surprise gift.

[MSV]

Still on a HNY performance frenzy on youtube. So much to watch. Have been pulling late nights.....

Ua cas peb yuav muaj ntau tus tub ntxhais hluas es yuav paub hu tau nkauj haib ua luaj. If only I had a great voice too. lol.

[MSV]

Freaken black guy pumping his gas pump in front of me still has his car running. Omg! So stupid and dangerous.

[MSV]

MSV,

Wishing you and your family a Happy New Year!! The best to 2014~

Always,

HS

Hey you! Thanks! I wish the same for you too.

[MSV]

Had a dream about you last night. It's been so long. I dreamt that I came to see you. When I got there, I called you and you were so happy. You hopped right into your car (I didn't think you knew how to drive) and was on your way to get me. We were still talking on the phone as you drove but then all of a sudden the scene changes to where I see you in a car accident. You had hit a bridge or something and you were laying there bleeding. I called your name but you were so knocked out from the impact that I only heard mumbles from you. I hope you are doing well and this wasn't one of those foreshadowing dreams.

***

Happy 2014! This year I want to just be happy. I normally make a handful of resolutions for myself but I decided to keep it simple.

Reflections of 2013. Hum. Received two raises so that was nice. Ending to a beautiful relationship. Oh the sweet memories all these couple of years spent with Dej. A lot more family events and new additions! 10 years since dad's passing...how it felt like yesterday only.

[MSV]

As Akuma from that hmong dubbed Street Fighter movie would say, "Lub ntiaj teb no yog lub zoo tshaj plaws" *deep breath* "Lub ntiaj teb no yog lub zoo tshaj plaws." *deep breath again*

What a start to my morning at work. Just found out I got a crapload of work assigned to me this month. Supervisor sent an email to the whole unit to remind us to please do our best to cover those who are out on vacation. Why should I even bother when no one helped do my work when I was out? There's really no point in me overworking myself. I don't even want to try anymore. 

[MSV]

Consumed by music. I don't normally like rap much but this one here I like.    Got me feelin' the beat......                                                                                                       

http://youtu.be/OjlednRmh64

Thank you world for music!

[MSV]

Back to eating my grapefruits and monitoring everything I eat again. Gosh, it's going to be so hard but I know this will be best for me. Greatest part to all this is my family will also be participating. We will push each other, remind each other and motivate each other. Really hoping for success for us all. 

Must possess....
- determination
- commitment
- patience
- enthusiasm
- positivity

Let's go! 

[MSV]

Ever since kuv tau ib tug nai tshiab mas I've dreaded this place even more. On the first meeting we had, nws hais rau kuv haistias nws tsis micromanage no tabsis all her actions have been showing she does. A few days ago nws sau email tuaj rau kuv es hais tias kuv need ua nov ua nov and to refer to policy if I don't know what I'm doing. I got irritated and even frustrated cause I know what I'm doing (and when I don't,  I do ask for help). Anyways, I went to talk to my old supervisor as well as those who do quality control or know policies well. They all confirmed I did my work correctly. Kuv rov los sau kiag email teb kuv tus nai tias kuv ua yog tas lawm....tseem also siab zoo enough es link kiag nws qhov policy thiab. Tsuv tsus ntawv os. Loved putting her in check.

To work under someone who doesn't believe in my work....how I miss my good supes!

[MSV]

Last night my heart skipped a beat when I logged onto my email and saw that he had left me a message. After so many months of silence, I wanted to burst into tears.....let all that loneliness out. But instead I sat there staring at his email. It was so short and simple but the impact it left triggered my weakest spots to awaken. How I wanted to forgive him and hit the reply button to find answers to questions I pondered about when he left. I stopped myself though. No longer did I want to do this. To wait for him. To fall for his stupid sweet talking. To believe there was a future for us. To remain so faithful and only be treated like I was only an option or his last resort. I deserve better! I deserve to be loved! And so I clicked the "delete" button.

I am in control of my happiness. He once was my smiles but now I no longer need him. Chase the sun...I must go in that direction.