Just adding to what is already posted; hopefully this will kinda clear things up. Your role is small in terms of your Kis singing but still requires a lot of work. Good luck & sorry for my misspell Hmong words if any.
HAUV QHUA ZAUM ROOJ ITEMS (GONNA COST YOU AT MINIMUM $400)
- 2 chicken
- 1 small pig
- 2 beer/wine bottle or can; go with the cans
--- 1 for the 1st phase tied together with the chicken heart, rice and 2nd phase
- inside of a Hmong basket or kawm
- a chicken heart with cook rice wrap in paper foil
- 1 of those paper origami hmong stuff
- some money for Nyiaj Tshav Ntuj ($50) & Nyiaj Kab Tsem ($20), Nyiaj Txiv Ngauj ($10)
- Write their name on the basket and tape it
- Txiv Qeej & Txiv Nkauj
--- Usually if you are not the Aunt/Uncle of the decease, you usually share what the Xyob Cuab have, so it’s not necessarily to have one; just make sure you be at the funeral home around 6:30AM or so; so you can go in with the big groups.
- A couple of shot cups; bringing your own makes things easier instead of asking Xyob Cuab for it
- $100 or more dollars for the table; your Kis will know how to use this
- $10-50 or so for your Kis for helping you
- Kis to help you sit at the table and represent you
-- 1 Type Kis: Assuming the Xyob Cuab is not requesting your Kis to sing, you can just grab anyone who knows the structure but not the songs
-- 2 Type Kis: The Xyob Cuab want your Kis to sing IF AND ONLY IF there is time, then you need to find one that knows their stuff
-- Asking for Kis, nothing formal, just call them up, tell them your situation and ask them nicely
1ST PHASE – THE EARLY MORNING AT THE BUTCHER SHOP ( USUALLY HAPPENS AROUND THE SAME TIME AS PHASE 2 BUT DOUBLE CHECK WITH THE XYOB CUAB)
You need at most 4 people
-- 2 to do the stomachs
-- 2 to cut the meat & watch the meat
Cow Stomach
-- Clean it all up as best you can
-- Cut up all the pieces as equally as you can into three’s
--- 1 for you, 1 for Xyob Cuab & 1 for Kam Xwm
-- After you are finish with the stomachs parts and split them up equally, call the Kam Xwm that’s there and tell them who you are representing and which part is theres
-- Pick up your part and you are done with this part
Here’s what you will need to do
Save 2 ribs for each of the following:
-- Txiv Qeej
-- Txiv Ngauj
Save a big chunk of good meat for your helper: Your Kis; sometimes you might have two kis because 1 is your actual Kis and the other one is his helper; he is there to help pour drinks cause it’s hard to pour, respond to the thank you and bow at the same time.
2ND PHASE – THE EARLY MORNING AT THE FUNERAL HOME ( HAPPENS AROUND THE SAME TIME AS PHASE 1 BUT DOUBLE CHECK WITH XYOB CUAB)
1) Gather out front
2) Go in with a bunch of people; one of the big one who has a Txiv Qeej cause you need one but do not have one
--- If you have your own Txiv Qeej, then you can go on your own
3) Someone going to take off the Hmong basket at the front door
4) Head with everyone to the casket
5) After reaching the casket; your Kis head out and find your basket
6) Your Kis will take out the heart and wrap rice paper foil along with the beer and money
7) Go ask Kav Xwm where is Cuab Tsav or just go find him
--- 1. Kav xwm! Ua li Cuab Tsav yog tus twg?
------ 1. Usually you do not have to ask because he's the only one next to the casket doing stuff
8 ) After he (Kav Xwm) tells you who he (Cuab Tsav) is
--- 1. you head to him and tell him this:
------ 1. Cuab Tsav! Hais rau koj paub! Qhov no ces yog <Name of who you are representing> cawv laig dab. Ua li mas thov koj pab coj mus laig rau nws.
------ 2. Here's what might happen:
--------- 1. You tell him (Cuab Tsav) that since he's too busy you are not going to give him a drink
--------- 2. The other options ( it never happens when I did it) is to pour him a shot once his done his job to thank him
9) Take the beer and go give the following to Kav Xwm first
--- 1. Pour him a shot first
--- 2. Tell him who you are
--- 3. Give him the money
------ 1. Nyiaj Tshav Ntuj, Kab Tsem,
10) Take the rest of beer and goto each male inside the funeral home waiting and say the following
--- 1. Yuav <Name of who you are representing> cawv laig dab saib yuad!
--- 2. They are going to give your beer to someone to hold (your partner)
--- 3. They are going to thank you
------ 1. You respond at the same time with the following, take your time it does not matter if they finish early or you finish early.
------ 2. Txhob ua tsaug mog! Nej xyom caub tsev ploj tsev tuag tsev puas tsev ntsoog! Qaug ib teeg, nchuav ib nkog, tus ib saw! Yam li kuv ua lub neej vij zeej xws luag ces kuv yuav cab yag cab ncos, muab nyiaj txiag qab ntsos, deg caw qas log tuaj pab nej xyom cuab! Cuag li kuv twb ua lub neej tsis xws luag ces! Kuv twb toom tsis taus txheej, toom tsis taus ntsig! Tuaj pab tsis taus nej xyom cuab nta dab nta qhua! Twb tuaj tauv tsis tau nej xyom cuab lub kua muag. Tsis txhob ua tsaug, nkim lo tsaug xwb mog!
3RD PHASE – THE THANK YOU DURING LUNCH TIME
Lunch time or the time when they chop up everyone's donation and give it to everyone to eat
1) Most of the time; this happens outside
2) Kav Xwm or their helpers are going to setup a table and call everyone who did a huav qhua that day by name
3) Once they called your name you step up and they will ask if it's your basket and give you a shot, just drink the shot and confirm that it is your basket
4) You answered yes or using the following:
--- 1. Kav Xwm. Kuv yog <Fill on your represented name> Kis. Kuv hais rau neb ob tug Kav Xwm paub tias kuv lub kawm ces yog lub no ntag! Neb mam li saib xyuas mog!
5) The Kav Xwm helpers are going to ask if you want to chop up the chicken/pig or what? They will give you a shot when asking this.
6) You tell them they do the chopping for you and you drink their 1 drinks/shots in front of you since you do not know how to chop 1. You can answer using the following:
--- 1. Peb coj tauj cob rau neb lawm ces neb yeej meem xyuas neb xwb mog!
--- 2. You can give them a shot for helping you chop the meat but it’s your choice
7) After the chopping, Kav Xwm or his helper but mainly his helper are going to give half of the chicken with the head some raw meat to you to take home and like 2 dollars or something. Kav Xwm is going to give you ¼ of the pig also.
--- 1. This sometimes will come from the Cuab Tsav when you both exchange in step 8, depending on the situations
--- 2. Kav Xwm will give each of you a shot, Cuab Tsav and you to exchange
8 ) They will then give you the other half w/a raw piece of meat and a drumstick to give to the “Cuab Tsav”, there are going to be someone standing in his place along with a 1 cup/shot of your beer (most of the time they have it laying around and you can just grab one) with like 2 dollars. Most of the time the Kav Xwm helpers will put all this together for you already in a package.
9) Now Cuab Tsav is going to say thank you, you respond with the same thing above
10) After the thank you, you both take your shot
11) After the thank you Cuab Tsav is going to say something to you, after he finishes saying it, he will hand over his half to you. You the hand over your half to him and say the following:
--- 1. “Cuab Tsav, Txais qhov no saib yuad! Qhov no ces yog <Your represented name> nqaij sus mog! Kuv muab cob rau koj es koj ho saib xyuas rau mog! Koj ho pab hu xyom cuab tuaj no sus ov mog!”
12) Kav Xwm will then give you your second beer and tell you to go give it to everyone. There is a shot with this also.
--- 1. Since it is your beer and you accepted his shot, you either tell him to put it on the table and give it to the Xyom Cuab later OR
--- 2. You drink his shot and just do it.
13) You then take your beer and start giving shots away, most people will just drink it without say anything but cause they are just too many thank you if they start. Some will thank you and if they do, just use the same response above.
UA LUG TSAUG
Ua tsaug mog! <Say the name of the person who you are saying thank you to>! Vim peb xyom cuab tsev ploj tsev tuag, tsev puas tsev ntsoog! Qaug ib teeg nchuav ib nkog, tu ib saw. Koj tsis cia li. Koj xav neej xav tsav, xav ntsuab xav ze! Koj yuav toom txheej toom ntsig, muab <Hais tej yam luag pab: Cab yag cab ncos, Nyiaj txiag qas ntsos, Qoob qa zaj zus nplej kws txhuv qib ntsuas, Dej caw qas log, Nyiaj txiag xyab ntawv, Ntaub xo qas ntsos> tuaj pab peb xyom cuab nta dab nta qhua kom tseg ntwb puav tam ncej txawb! Nram qab nram ntsis peb xyom cuab ua lub neej xws luag ces yuav nco koj tshav ntuj mog!
- Give your ribs to your Kis to give to Txiv Qeej and Txiv Nkauj
- Give the meat you told your cow helper to save for you and give it to your Kis
4TH PHASE – SITTING AT THE TABLE
- Give your Kis the $100 or so dollar cause he's gonna use it soon
- When time comes, your Kis will be called to go sit at the table
-- Make sure you have a couple of people to help your Kis sit at the table until his turn. This takes a veryyyyyyyyyyy long time.
- Your Kis turn comes and he will do what you ask him to do