Marriage: Kev nam txiv yog quaj muag ab haam kev zoo sab...

[LadyLionness]

Marriage:  bittersweet tears and happiness....

[Lavender]

Marriage is bittersweet tears and happiness....

It is..but I guess that's what makes the marriage stronger because you have to balance. Can't be happy all the time.

Marriage isn't happy 100%.  If you have a caring spouse, marriage life is beautiful and enjoyable.  But if you have an uncaring spouse, marriage is like the living dead.

ST......I've learned that sometimes us married people want to be single to escape our problems.  Then I also realize that being single is also lonely.  Perhaps more lonely than being married. 

I think I can survive with just having him by my side. 

[LadyLionness]

Lav,

I have heard many women say that line, "wanting out of a marriage to do their own thing or to do things."  My question has always been and still is... "What can you do by yourself that you can't do with your husband of many years?"  Well, over time and after meeting many couples, I am beginning to see that it's easier said than done... especially when both spouses enjoyed different things and one is more dominant while one is out to please. 

The one who is a pleaser end up giving all their likes and desires... and in time... feel like the only way to truly be themselves and do the things they enjoy is to find someone new.  I guess it's ok if there are no kids involve and it's just you and him... however, when there are kids involved, one cannot give up on the marriage.  One must find a way to communicate your unhappiness with your spouse... and don't give up trying until they see it... sometimes... especially if the desires have been buried for years... it will take your spouse a very long time to really see how unhappy you are... and if you are willing to leave the marriage to find that happiness or love that your soul crave... you should let your spouse KNOW before you actually DO anything that crosses the point of no return...

[Ron Burgundy]

Well said LL.  You are truly a smart and philosophical person.  I am happy and thankful to hear what you post!

[LadyLionness]

What has been your experience, Ron?

[LadyLionness]

Looking back at my own failed marriage and having read many books on marriage, it seems that having disagreements between husband and wife is actually healthy.  I am beginning to see that as well.  When everything is going smooth, we hesitate to bring up issues b/c we don't want to disturb the peace... but when we are already in the middle of an argument, we bring everything up and lay out all our cards... once all the disappointment s, anger, and sadness are laid out on the table... both parties can go through and work through each issue. 

[LadyLionness]

I read about one couple in which the wife wanted out of the marriage.  She didn't have any reason why, except that she no longer love her husband and she is just cold.  When the therapist ask her about the issues that they argued about, she said that in all 30 years of their marriage, they had never argued - not even once. 

After some more talking and digging, it turned out that she had buried all her wants and desires and had went along with his... in the therapy sessions, the therapist taught her that she need to feel safe enough to argue and disagree with her husband.  They ended up staying together and she had learned how to argue and assert herself... and became happier in her marriage.

As long as you both fight fair (not attack each other) and only argue about the situation or problems, it is healthy to argue...

[Ron Burgundy]

I'll PM you.

[LadyLionness]

I'll PM you.

Got it.  Thanks.

on your signature... when life gives you lemon... add salt, chilli peppers, fish sauce and enjoy... lolz... I am a spicy girl... ahahahhaha...

[LadyLionness]

OK, so if love between husband and wives is in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer... etc.

What happens on a daily basis?  Should we be sick all the time to see if they will show us some love?

[Ron Burgundy]

no, it only means that they will be there to take care of us when we are sick and can't do anything. But majority of men do not take care of their sick wives. They still go chicken fight even when their wives can't get up to cook.. 

Chicken fights??  ST, dear, you gotta re-draw your search map to a totally different realm or zip code at least.   Those type of guys where kau kiab year round...

[LadyLionness]

no, it only means that they will be there to take care of us when we are sick and can't do anything. But majority of men do not take care of their sick wives. They still go chicken fight even when their wives can't get up to cook.. 

That is very sad... not enough reasons to divorce, but nothing worth staying for.

[LadyLionness]

 
                                                     
 
 
 
 

  Providing for the Family
 
  1 Timothy 5:1–16 
 
 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. — 1 Timothy 5:8
 
 Recently a friend recommended a course offered at her church titled “Financial Self-Defense.” My first thought was that the church should offer another one called “Financial CPR” for those whose finances need complete resuscitation.
 
 My husband and I are financial idiots. We continue to be thankful for those smarter than we are who are willing to step alongside us to walk us through mortgage paperwork and insurance headaches. In keeping with our simple financial minds, our financial goals are pretty simple: tithe and give offerings faithfully; get out—and stay out—of debt (I’m hoping we’ll get there yet!); and take care of our family, including our parents, should that become necessary.
 
 But, like most people, we have times of severe financial stress. One of the worst times was when our children were young and the furnace in our big, old house gave out for good. It was December, a time when it starts to get really cold in Illinois, where we live. And December is also a time when our bank account is emptier than usual because of Christmas spending.
 
 Our furnace repairman was a deacon at our church, and he encouraged us to let our church help us pay for the furnace through the benevolent fund. It’s an extremely humbling experience to lean on your Christian brothers and sisters this way, but we gratefully accepted the help. As recipients of that financial aid, we now are more keenly aware of the importance of giving to the benevolent fund at our church. We know what it feels like to need a cash rescue.
 
 Generally, though, David and I work hard to provide for our children—by giving them, not a luxurious life, but a simple, safe and healthy one. This is a Biblical concept. The apostle Paul wrote that it is a shame for believers not to set a loving example by generously providing for their own households. The church plays a role in helping those who are alone in the world—those who are orphaned, widowed or abandoned. But Paul reminded Timothy that Christians who fail to take responsibility for their own families are worse than unbelievers. That’s quite a reminder!
 
 David and I need God’s help to achieve our financial goals, and we’re trusting God to help us be the ones to provide for the needs of our four kids and our parents. With God’s help, we can keep his admonition in mind to care for our own household.
 
—Annette LaPlaca
 
Let’s Talk
 
• What financial goals do we share as a couple?
 
• Have we encountered difficulties in providing for our own household? How have we gotten help? In what ways has that assistance helped us become more discerning about handling money?
 
• How is financially providing for our family part of our calling as Christians?
 

[LadyLionness]

Touching story..
 
Fifty Years Faithful
 
For love is as strong as death. SONG OF SOLOMON 8:6
 
 Only 10 months into their marriage, during an otherwise calm Sunday drive to church one July morning, a young Navy couple's car was broadsided by a streaking ambulance racing through an intersection. The driver of the car, R. L. Alford, sustained some minor injuries. But his wife, Hilda, was thrown from the vehicle, suffering a massive head injury that left her not only a quadriplegic, but also legally blind and unable to speak.
 
 That was 50 years ago—50 years of communicating with his wife through little more than the nods of her head. Fifty years of pushing her wheelchair or (his preferred way) carrying her in his arms. Fifty years of emptying her urine pan and cleaning up her bowel movements. And in the last few years, even feeding her through a tracheal tube and learning how to insert her catheters.
 
 Along the way, R. L.'s brand of marital loyalty has drawn some unexpected notice. ("Undeserved," to hear him say it.) When a longtime family friend spearheaded a drive in the mid-'80s to raise funds to build the Alfords a new home, help came from such high-ranking places as Florida governor Bob Martinez, who not only gave them a brand-new refrigerator but also spent a day working
 at the construction site. President Ronald Reagan sent a check for $500, followed by another for $1,000.
 
 "When R. L. was asked to repeat the vow ‘for better or worse,' " a neighbor said, "he heard it real loud. Medically, it's a miracle Hilda is still alive. But she's not alive because of all those doctors. She's alive because R. L. gave his life to her."
 
 In September 2006, the Alfords celebrated their golden anniversary. Looking back, R. L. humbly remarked, "Sure, it's been rough in some ways. But it's been rewarding."
 
 Fifty years of being there. May all our promises to each other be that long lasting.
 
DISCUSS
 
 Talk about what you would do for one another if the unthinkable happened. Promise you'll be there, regardless.
 
PRAY
 
 While asking God for many more years together, pray it with a promise that you'll remain faithful no matter what those years entail. 
 

[LadyLionness]

 

No Junk Allowed
 
“Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7
 
 Seven‐year‐old Chris Krebs was born with cerebral palsy and was profoundly retarded. One day he and his father, Greg, sat in a hospital lounge waiting for Mrs. Krebs, who worked at the hospital. Another man, shabbily dressed and emanating a peculiar aroma, was also waiting there. He looked like a bum or derelict. Greg went to the nurses’ station and asked how much longer his wife would be. When he returned, he saw Chris sitting by the man. The man was sobbing, and Greg wondered what Chris had done to disturb him.
 
“I’m sorry if my son offended you,” Greg said.
 
 The man replied, “Offended me? Your son is the only person who has hugged me in the last twenty years!” Greg later said, “I realized at that moment Chris had a more Christ-like love for this man than I did.”
 
Although disrespect for the disabled or less fortunate is characteristic of our culture, we know there is no “junk” in God’s value system. He loves every one of us the same. He sees our potential, and He uses each person to accomplish some part of His purpose. As His children, we’re called to look at everyone through the lens of His perfect love.
 
When we show compassion and respect to the people who cross our paths from day to day, we are also likely to treat our spouse the same way. It all begins with a spirit of loving‐kindness.
 
Just between us . . .

• Has anyone ever unexpectedly modeled Christ’s love to you?
• How can we encourage each other to see value and potential in everyone we meet?

Father, may we always be sensitive to the needs and value of other people. Help us to share Your love to them, no matter who they are. Amen.