its not like they read this anyways.

[pipa]

what i find utterly amusing is how little people progress. perhaps it's because i've been away for far too long and/or the my expectations far exceeds that of a normal person. i don't know. what i do know is that, i am not the same person i was last year. i'm constantly growing not physically but mentally. ideas are constantly evolving.

and so i get irritated when people can't see past these minnesota walls. it's amazing how big the world is and how small we are compared to the rest of the world. perhaps it takes leaving minnesota to realize this.

get out more often and know that you are the only person holding you back.

[pipa]

the opposite of loneliness

when you have been with a group of like minded people for 2 years, loving, fighting, learning and living together, separation becomes enormously hard.

so what is the opposite of loneliness? it was that community of 18 people whose personalities span all spectrum of personalities. it was the late night dance parties in the pool, dinner at rudys, thursday dance party at gypsy, sunday special at the york street bar, morning coffee at booktraders, lunch at attitcus, honey lemon ginger tea at jojo's and mostly siting on those steps at 1156 chapel street. It saddens me that we longer have these things but only memories of those 2 years, two wonderful years.

[pipa]

do you ever feel like you're waiting for life to start? like you're currently on pause and at any given moment someone, somewhere is going to press a button and your real life is going to start? this feels like a video game, you know the ones where you have to go through all these training stages before the real game starts.

i wonder if this what it feels like after graduate school? am i happy to be done? off course, this is what i've wanted all my life. i'm doing something i want to do and it's just at this very moment that i feel like i'm in a crutch. i'm giving myself 2 months to relax but for someone who's always had something to do, i'm finding it quit difficult hence the feeling of waiting for life to start. maybe it's all just me. maybe i'm making it much more difficult than it seems and it's actually really simple.

that was my self pity post. now onto something else.

[DonJuan]

do you ever feel like you're waiting for life to start? like you're currently on pause and at any given moment someone, somewhere is going to press a button and your real life is going to start? this feels like a video game, you know the ones where you have to go through all these training stages before the real game starts.

i wonder if this what it feels like after graduate school? am i happy to be done? off course, this is what i've wanted all my life. i'm doing something i want to do and it's just at this very moment that i feel like i'm in a crutch. i'm giving myself 2 months to relax but for someone who's always had something to do, i'm finding it quit difficult hence the feeling of waiting for life to start. maybe it's all just me. maybe i'm making it much more difficult than it seems and it's actually really simple.

that was my self pity post. now onto something else.

Enjoy the time when you can. Once, the rat race starts, it won't end until you die.

[DonJuan]

the opposite of loneliness

when you have been with a group of like minded people for 2 years, loving, fighting, learning and living together, separation becomes enormously hard.

so what is the opposite of loneliness? it was that community of 18 people whose personalities span all spectrum of personalities. it was the late night dance parties in the pool, dinner at rudys, thursday dance party at gypsy, sunday special at the york street bar, morning coffee at booktraders, lunch at attitcus, honey lemon ginger tea at jojo's and mostly siting on those steps at 1156 chapel street. It saddens me that we longer have these things but only memories of those 2 years, two wonderful years.

Loneliness is you. Having those people around was a comfort that distracted you from yourself.

Now that the distraction is gone, you see yourself.

You were always lonely.

[DonJuan]

lol DonJuan. Your responses are so depressing but they crack me up.

Can you handle the truth?

[pipa]

Loneliness is you. Having those people around was a comfort that distracted you from yourself.

Now that the distraction is gone, you see yourself.

You were always lonely.

HA!

and who wouldn't be given my circumstances.


i finally sat my nephew down and had the "TALK" with him. he's 16 and thinks he knows everything there is to know about the world. he also thinks he's in love and she is the one. i told him that love is a strange thing and that it was constantly changing/evolving. i told him that my idea of love when i was 16 wasn't my idea of love at 20 and so forth. i also encouraged him to explore himself, other girls and just live like a 16 year old. his uncle on the other, gave it to him real, said if he marries now, he'll end up divorced later like his dad. it was harsh but something he needed to hear. 

i haven't seen my mom since sunday, perhaps i'll pay her a visit today.

[DonJuan]

HA!

and who wouldn't be given my circumstances.


i finally sat my nephew down and had the "TALK" with him. he's 16 and thinks he knows everything there is to know about the world. he also thinks he's in love and she is the one. i told him that love is a strange thing and that it was constantly changing/evolving. i told him that my idea of love when i was 16 wasn't my idea of love at 20 and so forth. i also encouraged him to explore himself, other girls and just live like a 16 year old. his uncle on the other, gave it to him real, said if he marries now, he'll end up divorced later like his dad. it was harsh but something he needed to hear. 

i haven't seen my mom since sunday, perhaps i'll pay her a visit today.

That is because love does not exist.

Love is only a reflection of yourself. That is why it changes as you mature.

[pipa]

That is because love does not exist.

Love is only a reflection of yourself. That is why it changes as you mature.

donjuan, is that a fact or just an opinion from someone who's given up on the idea of love?

[DonJuan]

donjuan, is that a fact or just an opinion from someone who's given up on the idea of love?

A fact it is.


Look around you. Look very carefully. You must be brave or a fool to believe love exists.

Love does not make a relationship work.
Healthy people who have a balance between mind, body and soul do.

[pipa]

A fact it is.


Look around you. Look very carefully. You must be brave or a fool to believe love exists.

Love does not make a relationship work.
Healthy people who have a balance between mind, body and soul do.

i must be a fool then. i look at my parents and i see a lot love among other things. they've been married for the last 35 years and without a doubt their LOVE for each other is what kept together and so i believe in love.

i also believe that before you love someone else you need to love yourself first, i also know that it takes more than love to make a relationship last and that perhaps trust is just as important as love.

=====

this past weekend was filled with picnics, birthdays, babies, and laughter.

[pipa]

i've attempted to write multiple post on here but have erased them all before hitting the post button. how do you say something without giving too much away?

[jon_jon]

i've attempted to write multiple post on here but have erased them all before hitting the post button. how do you say something without giving too much away?

easily talk in the third person.

[pipa]

i still dream about you.

i don't think about you consciously but in my dreams i'm always asking for forgiveness.

[pipa]

maybe she wants too much and he isn't willing or can't give her all that she wants. maybe she expects too much. whatever the case, he has told her to look at all the good and let that out weight the bad. maybe she can't see past all this. maybe it's her. she doesn't want to live the typical hmong life. doesn't want to become the typical hmong wife and doesn't want the typical hmong husband. all she knows is that the life she's living right now is not how she wants to live the rest of her life. surrounded by all these uncertainty, she's sure of one thing, her love for him.

maybe that's all she needs to hold on to. maybe..