True story:
So I was working on a harmless experimental drug that would cure druggies from the bad addictive drugs, but to do so, I needed some bad addictive drugs to test on first, and since I wasn't a druggie, I needed help getting some. Yes, I know, I know, you're saying to yourself, "cure addiction from drugs with another drug?" Well, this drug doesn't seem to have any side effects!
Anyways, so I called my homie K3n up (not that he's a druggie, sorry K3nny!), and asked him to hook me up with a dealer so that I could get some. Mind you, not to use it, but to save the world from it ok!? Ok, so we drove in his ride, thumpin' some loud ass music into the hood and then we got to this one back alley. He threw some peanuts on the ground, and I was thinking "dude, that's littering!" but he just walks and tells me to follow. I guess that's some secret way to let them know we wanted drugs. We got to this garage, and it opened and standing there were these Mexican dudes. They were holding some guns, and I was scared as hell, thinking "What on earth did I get myself into." Well, anyways, nothing bad happened other than me buying some crack. They even gave us a free crack pipe with the crack, what a deal!
So my homie K3nny and I ran as fast as we could from that garage and headed to his car. As we approached his car, K3nny noticed something was wrong, so he told me to act normal. The moment I turned to look around, these undercover ladies with K9 dogs approached us and told us to get down on the ground. I'm thinking "Oh shit, we're in trouble, if they find these drugs on me." Anyways, so they patted down K3nny and he had nothing on him, then it was my turn. I tried acting really nice so they'd just let me go, you know... use some of my charm on them. But to no avail, this black cop found the drugs in my man-purse (don't judge me ok!? Well at least don't judge me for the man-purse part.) And then I thought to myself "hey, when did this black cop come onto the scene? I bet he's a dirty cop trying to black mail me (no pun intended, but I was stereo typing or maybe being a bit racist)." But I then I realized "Ok, I really did buy those drugs. Damn it."
Anyways, so they let K3nny go and took me to the station, and I was hella scared. They didn't speak to me after that, and I was thinking "I can get away with this because they haven't read me my miranda rights yet!" So when we got to the station, I was trying to think up 10,000 different ways to explain myself and not get any prison time. I figured if I explained myself, and told the truth, I wouldn't get any time. But then who would believe that I was trying to make a drug to save druggies from another drug? So then I also thought, "hmmm... if I said I was a druggie, and it was for my own use, and not to sell (which is the truth sort of), then maybe they'd just think I was a user and just slap me on the wrist and help get me some treatment or something." I was totally breaking under pressure. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do!
Anyways, so they took me around the police station to different parts, to get patted down, to get me finger printed, to get a mug shot, and then finally to my cell that I conveniently had to share with a big guy named Butch. How sad is that? I was trying to save the world from drugs, and yet drugs won the battle and I'm about to be incarcerated for God knows how long!? Then I realized something... That I was in a dream. So I thought to myself... "Crap! This is a dream, just wake up!" And bam... woke up.
Whew, dodged a bad situation again!
