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Author Topic: jokes, jokes, and more jokes  (Read 87401 times)

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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #510 on: May 04, 2016, 07:26:00 PM »
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

 :2funny:   ;D



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #511 on: May 04, 2016, 07:35:34 PM »
 :2funny: funny tRouBLe



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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #512 on: May 05, 2016, 12:29:27 PM »
If someone ever says, “What are you staring at?”
Say “I don't know, give me a minute.”

I can see someone from here doing this ;D



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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #513 on: May 05, 2016, 12:36:18 PM »
A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes a woman walking her dog. The man stops her and asks, "Hey where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replies, "Listen you drunken bastard, that's a dog not a pig." The man then said, "Take it easy, I was talking to the dog"

I haven't met someone who is drunk enough to talk to animals yet, might be a good thing :D



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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #514 on: May 05, 2016, 12:48:40 PM »
Hmmmm.......my spider sense tells me TL falls in both those categories.   ;D



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Offline tRouBLe

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #515 on: May 05, 2016, 12:56:32 PM »
Tai Lau's pickup lines:

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Does this cloth also smell like chloroform to you?

Hey, did you buy those pants on sale, because at my place they're 100% off.

Beware, ladies.   ;D   :D



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #516 on: May 05, 2016, 01:10:08 PM »
HAHAHA tRouBLe! ;D



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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #517 on: May 06, 2016, 07:45:57 AM »
I don't recall being much of a blond LOL but once in a blue moon, my mind goes blank. Only happens when someone give me a hard enough question to make me think. :2funny:



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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #518 on: May 09, 2016, 08:38:28 AM »
Tai Lau relocates to LA and writes home to his parents to tell them he is doing great and the move was successful. He says the city is fast and furious with lots of things to do, but the only thing he doesn't understand is the people. People are so backwards in Hollywood. Like, they take drugs right out in the open, but they eat in the closet.
He tells his mom the whole eating in the closet is challenging.

 ;D :2funny:



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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #519 on: May 09, 2016, 09:42:21 AM »
Hey now, push-up bras are challenging :P



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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #520 on: May 09, 2016, 10:05:12 AM »
 ??? says who? LOL, not me :knuppel2:



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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #521 on: May 10, 2016, 10:29:13 AM »
Friends are everlasting and a good source of comfort O0

"Friends forever", as many have put it LOL
 :hello: :wav:



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Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #522 on: May 10, 2016, 11:06:19 AM »
Ntxim yuav mag :knuppel2: :knuppel2:



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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #523 on: May 22, 2016, 06:48:12 PM »
We're not that blonde........ sounds more like you TL.  Refer to Giggles' jokes.   ;D



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Giggles_Shyly

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #524 on: May 31, 2016, 09:24:11 AM »
I suspect that someone went into hiding :P TrouBle, and since we are still here, it's the other person(s) LOL



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