Letters to the man that I love with all my heart and soul...

[ButterflyKisses]

...waiting...

[ButterflyKisses]

If Minor can write to his future grandkids, I figured I could write to my future soulmate.

[ButterflyKisses]

Hi, Hun. 

In my mind, we had a wonderful lunch today. 

The food wasn't as good as usual, but I enjoyed the company.  It's good to see a man build strong friendships with other men - to be able to joke around and talk about sensitive subjects in lighthearted conversations.  I was a little surprise that you were able to let go of her reservation and kind of let loose.  Just enjoying humorous bantering with your friends. 

BK
July 7, 2014

[minorcharacter]

You're not allowed to do this.  You need to make a contract with one of the admins first, and since Sweet~Tears and I are practically engaged she said it was okay.

[ButterflyKisses]

You're not allowed to do this.  You need to make a contract with one of the admins first, and since Sweet~Tears and I are practically engaged she said it was okay.

I am sleeping with Sweet Tears.  We have been having a torrid affair way before she even became an admin.  So she can't say no to me.

[ButterflyKisses]

Hun,

I can't wait to get home and give you a big kiss.  Love you much!

BK
Jul 7, 2014 (evening)

[ButterflyKisses]

Baby,

Let's go jump into the ocean and make a big splash!  I love you.

BK

[ButterflyKisses]

Dear Love,

Why is it so very hard to enjoy being with you?  I wish I know how to make you happy, but the truth is that you have to find your own happiness and then enjoy life with me.  I wish I know how to help you, but it is something that you must come to terms with on your own.

Please open your eyes and see the pureness of my heart.

Always,
BK

[ButterflyKisses]

Hun,

Maybe love isn't in perfection, but in the "trying." 

Expectation is really a joy killer.  I don't know how I can stop that.  I am learning.  In retrospective, I can see your love.  But in the moment of it, it's my disappointment that is felt the most.  And it's not the love that I remember, it's not the good you put in that stays with me, but it's the disappointment .  Standing there in the parkinglot, unable to walk, and you rapidly walking ahead that stays with me.  You coming back and helping me later on is over shadowed by the disappointment and pain of watching your back rapidly disappearing between the other cars. 

I don't know how to explain it to you, that the pain you initially caused stay much more in my heart than the love and comfort you offer later on.  I know that in your mind, it's the love and the administration after that you remember.  But I remember both.  How can I forget the pain and only remember the love?  I don't want to be ungrateful. 

BK