If i knew what I knew now

[Dolly]

 

[J-a-s-o-n]

Yo .

[Dolly]

[duckwingduck]

Sorry to hear that.  The husband should stand up and say something.  Otherwise, he and you should move out.  The best way to have a good relationship with the in laws is to live separately.  If the hubby lives in his parent's house, he will always be a child and his parents alway feel like they can tell him what to do. 

[Dolly]

Duckwingduck: 

[Dolly]

[Snowdrop]

Dear Dolly,

If your kindness and giving make you feel sad, please free  yourself so you may be happier.  Not every human is the same.  Some people have gratitude toward your kindness while some will not.  Only do as you can.  If having a reputation that you are kind and loving make  you feel sad, the reputation isn't worth it.  So do only at what you can and be happy then disregard what others will say about you. 

For me, I feel that the hardest and most depressed thing is to please someone while I am deeply hurt. 

I would recommend you and your husband move out to be on your own. 

[Dolly]

[Dolly]

 

[theking]

And oh, in laws are old fashioned. They want everyone to live together under one roof. *kill me* 


I'm starting to hate my life more and more.

Sorry to hear. If you value your life and happiness, time to leave, and the sooner the better. Old fashioned or not, if they don't know how to live together with others civilly under one roof, it's better to go separate ways. And that goes for anyone else in a miserable situation. Good luck!

I hope others can learn from your situation and plan better for long term commitments. If that means drafting a legal binding document, prenuptial, etc., so be it.

[minorcharacter]

Dear Dolly,

Please stand up for yourself.  It may seem like an insurmountable task given the way you have described your family, but in this day and age I doubt your husband and your family will turn a blind eye to your cries and worries.  Regardless, I think you and your husband should both communicate to each other your needs and wants out of this marriage.  Your values are certainly different from your husband's family; perhaps a little independence will do your marriage some good.

Regards,
MC

[duckwingduck]

Don't have kids.  If you can solve the problem, you might have to jump ship.  Have an escape plan.

[Dolly]

[theking]

The king, minor character: 

can things get anymore ridiculous? As much as I want to be a good nyab, I can't live in misery anymore so i found the courage to tell my mother in law that my husband and i are going to move out.

Good for you! If you wait until your health and well-being deteriorates to the point of no return due to misery, it will affect your baby too.

[Snowdrop]

Snowdrop:

I don't know what it is but she gives me a good laugh all the time. Putting on a show so family and friends would think she's a loving mother? I'm not sure what her intentions are but I am annoyed and sick to my stomach. I guess she wants family and friends to think that even if her ex husband don't want their kids, she does? Wack! She don't even take care of her kids, always want to go out and play, go drinking, and go clubbing. Worst, her parents are busy and don't even want to babysit yet, she will make her way out because here. The parents are the kids and the kids are the parents. The flower isn't as pretty as you see on the outside.

anyways, I honestly thought she was different when i met her, she got me good because all she talked about was plans and goals she had for her kids. I thought, wow! She really love her kids! I was proud of her. That was when I first went into the family. She was just all talk. Boo.

today is a whole new ugly picture, she takes care of her kids and feed them only when she wants to. most of the time, its my mother in law. And if the in laws goes somewhere. Kids are left with me or whoever is home. I honestly don't want to babysit the kids because they are not discipline, kids are rude, smart mouths, cry babies, cry about everything, they will hit you, anybody even their mom. The mom gets mad but doesn't do anything about it, kids run, screams all day, slams door, hits the wall like crazy. Why? I don't know.  I tell them to be quiet every day, they stop but the second I turn my back on them, they're at it again. In laws don't say anything, their mother don't as well but when I tell them, the mom just stares at me. Like, hello. Tell your kids to be quiet so my baby can sleep. She doesn't say anything. She just sit and watch tv or go on her phone. Terrible. 

I'm starting to hate my life more and more.

Who is this person?  Your mother-in-law?

Anyway, if you hate, find a new living situation that you will enjoy.  Life is short, why must you please someone when you are not happy.  It doesn't make sense to me.