let’s say company a (small comp.) offers u $85k salary (good benefits) to work in madison, wi and the next day company b (giant tech comp.) offers u $150k,$10k sign on bonus, $10k year end bonus, stocks, relocation package (excellent benefits) in san francisco, ca. which offer would u take?
Brother Slude,
What does your wife think? Is she ready for the big city? Are you OK with long distance relationship with your side of the family? Can you tolerate 3 hour total commute or more a day? If you are looking at SF or Mountain View or some of the other nice areas for real estate, the cost of a fix-up house is minimum 500k or more for a 1200 sqft house in the ghetto. If you are single, that's a great opportunity. For family guy like you and I, it's a break even proposition. Risk adjusted and it's not even break even. You are taking substantial risk for something that may not work out in 3 years. 160k is middle class income for SF. Include your wife's salary and you'll be OK. The commute and family are the factors. You seem to be hungry again after a couple years with the city. That's a tough decision for you.
Here are some data points.
I had something similar 3 years ago. Almost double my salary to move to South SF take on a bigger role with same company. I traveled there. Visited the company. Toured the area. Loved it. Return home and thought about it and said no because I love the midwest and my family. I dislike the cold but warmth is where the heart is.
I guy I know moved to SF and left his family in MN for 3 years to start his company. He traveled back and forth. I said why not move the family. He said he tried it but family doesn't like SF. He sold his startup company and moved back to MN.
Then I know people who moved there and loved it and stayed.
You can take a hybrid approach. Take the job, rent a hotel for 6 months, keep your other house, do this for 1-2 years and see if you like it. If it is worth it, move the family over. If you don't like it, find another job back home. After 1-2 years, you'll be worth much, much more. Win-win...