I prayed to God for true love. He sent me someone with a lot of major red flags. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't even consider this person, but I can't figure out why I'm attracted to him. This person doesn't check off any boxes on my list.
So I'm thinking, "God is testing me. I prayed for true love and He sent me someone I'm logically not attracted to. But if I want true love, then I must accept him as is. That is true love."
The list of cons outweigh the list of pros on this one, and yet the heart is struggling to let go.
So what is true love? It's easy to love someone who meets all your expectations, but the longer I know this person, the more his red flags are blaring. I start to feel anxious, insecure, and I'm overthinking EVERYTHING. This person actually isn't so great towards me come to think of it.
What childhood trauma is this person triggering that is causing codependency and an unhealthy attachment? I deserve more than breadcrumbs. I break it off over the phone. He is shocked. It doesn't sound like he's ever been verbally dumped before. I tell him that "I don't think we should continue and it's not because I don't like you or that we're incompatible. For some reason, our relationship makes me feel anxious and I don't think that's a good way to feel. I actually don't even know why I like you so much. Okay, well I guess that's it. Bye."
I don't like having unhealthy attachments because it's not true love. It isn't God testing me at all. It is a manipulative person who caught me at a very vulnerable point in my life. This person was love-bombing me hard until he gained my trust, and then began acting distant. That's why I felt insecure, confused, anxious, and more. Plus, there was something shady about him. He knows what it is. They always gaslight you once you're onto them.
I must remember to always trust my intuition when I feel that things are off. People get mad and will accuse me of being over analytical, critical, a know-it-all, etc. Wrong. I just have strong intuition that can pick up when people are shady. If you're not shady then I don't pick up things about you, and the universe doesn't conspire to out your lies.
You'd have to be a psychopath for me to miss the signals. I've come across one to know.