What I learned from divorced people.

[Prude]

They don't truly love the people in their new relationships if they already have
children from a previous relationship. Their love is still with those children
and won't ever change.

[Believe_N_Me]

That's probably true for some divorced people. However, I mostly see divorcees who favor the boyfriend/girlfriend over their children.

[Prude]

Those know true love for their lovers but are few.

[Dok_Champa]

One door closes another door opens and it's not the end of the world.  Self love is an essential ingredient to finding love again.

Also, people using the new found freedom to live recklessly will end up most often in disappointment s. 

[Visualmon]

They don't truly love the people in their new relationships if they already have
children from a previous relationship. Their love is still with those children
and won't ever change.

Do these divorcees have religious belief? Most Hamung don't care if they marry a divorcee. Even Lukewarm Christians don't care they marry a divorcee either.

[Believe_N_Me]

There are some couples (divorced or longterm bf/gf) who breakup or go through a down period and start seeing people. But then they reconcile and get back together because it's convenient and comfortable, rather then having to actually maintain a new relationship. I know some people whose entire relationship is like that. They keep hurting other people in the process because they drag these unsuspecting and undeserving victims into their drama.   

[JonniJacko]

you can't love someone if you don't love yourself..once someone is broken, its very hard to love themself..inst ead of working to find inner peace and recover self love and respect, like a evil spirit, they keep falling onto others to filled that void..or turn to other more sinister habits like drinking and smoking evil candies..haha

sorry folks..watched too many horror flicks today. haha

[Believe_N_Me]

you can't love someone if you don't love yourself..once someone is broken, its very hard to love themself..instead of working to find inner peace and recover self love and respect, like a evil spirit, they keep falling onto others to filled that void..or turn to other more sinister habits like drinking and smoking evil candies..haha

sorry folks..watched too many horror flicks today. haha

Agree. Broken people inevitably self-sabotage a healthy relationship before the secure person has a chance to leave them - something they're convinced will happen. It's usually in the form of pulling away, distancing themselves, and even ghosting. They're more comfortable with other broken/unavailable people because they don't become so emotionally invested. Also, when it ends, they can justify the breakup.

[Prude]

But chicken-and-bird-bone lovers also aren't always good matches once children come into
play, too.

[Believe_N_Me]

I'm astounded by people who have no trouble discarding an ex-spouse whom they may have had children, built a home, and a life with. But then struggle to completely cut loose a toxic boyfriend/girlfriend whom they've been on and off with and isn't much better than the ex-spouse they divorced. And they even let this go on for decades. Honestly, these people are attracted to drama.

Lawv tseem mob siab thiab khuv xim tus niag hluas nkauj/nraug uas twb pauv tsis ntxiv tus niag txiv/poj niam uas lawv muab veg. 

These are people who as the saying goes, "khiav qav mus ntsib nab". (Translation: Run away from the frog to meet a snake).




 

[Prude]

I know why the elders go to Laos. Both men and women. When you're in
your 50s, you really can't find a single lover who  has no kids. Only those
few who just can't have kids might still be around. But if you want to start
a marriage again, you'll have to turn to divorced people who already have
tons of kids.

Are we married to take care of someone else's kids? Are we married
for true love when we already have kids? The answer to both
questions is no. If I have kids, I look for a woman who will love
and get along with my kids. But I'm not marrying someone just
because I care about her or his kids. 

[Believe_N_Me]

Older singles have more baggage. The more baggage they have, the least likely they know how to manage that baggage.

It really boils down to how a person handles all the curveballs that life throws at them. Some people are much better at it than others. You want to be with someone who is good at handling the baggage they're carrying.

Young, single folks get a pass because they probably don't have as much on their plate. But this doesn't mean they will be a good partner because EVERYBODY eventually accrues baggage. It is then that they may also become an older single with too much baggage. 

[Mong-X]

Once you take a vacuum and suck out the air from these baggage, what you have left are the fine linings.  It's not a big challenge working with fine linings.

[Prude]

Older singles have more baggage. The more baggage they have, the least likely they know how to manage that baggage.

It really boils down to how a person handles all the curveballs that life throws at them. Some people are much better at it than others. You want to be with someone who is good at handling the baggage they're carrying.

Young, single folks get a pass because they probably don't have as much on their plate. But this doesn't mean they will be a good partner because EVERYBODY eventually accrues baggage. It is then that they may also become an older single with too much baggage. 

The love for the children usually supersedes the love for the incoming lover, no matter how one manages one's baggage.

[Prude]

Once you take a vacuum and suck out the air from these baggage, what you have left are the fine linings.  It's not a big challenge working with fine linings.

You mean, let the children grow up and move away first and then the couple fall in love or marry after that? 

I can do that. Just shouldn't rush into the commitment.