Once Married Foks: It's Harder and Harder To Find Love These Days

[Dok_Champa]

Divorced/widow folks, their new destination for love is LAOS

so if Laos is not where you want to go, you're left with other race..

I see so many niam nkauj mos ab and txiv mos ab that's it's becoming a norm/new normal now.  I'm not even shocking no more...

[Believe_N_Me]

The outlook for older singles look very bleak. 

[Dok_Champa]

Just something for us to discuss.. but people are not as proactive as before looking for love so not sure if people are losing faith or the dating pools are dwindling down because of the Laos factor... don't know.  I do see people are more open to dating outside the race now then before....

[hmgROCK]

why go laos?
when im here

 

[theking]

Don't think they want to spoon feed a "LAZY AZZ" douche that lives in his mom's basement and just leech off of her...Better just stick with your FAKE "rn wife" AKA "hands"...

[Believe_N_Me]

Just something for us to discuss.. but people are not as proactive as before looking for love so not sure if people are losing faith or the dating pools are dwindling down because of the Laos factor... don't know.  I do see people are more open to dating outside the race now then before....

It's very hard to trust people these days to have any faith.

[JonniJacko]

marriage is a dying practice..i think people in general, esp. the upcoming generations are just smarter. if you find someone you really connect with, good, but that doesn't mean it's going to last forever. half of the young kids out there probably have parents that are divorced..or know one or both of their parents cheated once or twice..this sends a clear message to them..marriage is mostly bull shizzos...haha with the economy in the shizzos, uncertainty of the future, cost of living is sky rocketing, mental health rampant among young people, people are just a lot smarter now..it's not worth it...intimacy is cool, but if you dont have it, it's not going to kill you...lols

[Believe_N_Me]

Most people still want marriage. They just can't trust anybody to get married to. More and more people no longer have the skills to be in a healthy marriage.

Having said that, I'm happy for one of my niam hlob. I learned over the weekend that she got remarried two years ago. I've seen her around but didn't know that. Our uncle passed away some time between 2016-2017 and I recall seeing her looking so down. At the time, I think she was only in her mid-50s. Kids are all grown, married, and out of the house.   

[Prude]

Divorced/widow folks, their new destination for love is LAOS

so if Laos is not where you want to go, you're left with other race..

I see so many niam nkauj mos ab and txiv mos ab that's it's becoming a norm/new normal now.  I'm not even shocking no more...

Those mos ab marriages are temporary.

[Dok_Champa]

Those mos ab marriages are temporary.

Some can be long lasting too.  I've seen it w/ my own eyes..  Anyway, temporary or long, everyone got what they wanted at the end:  Mos ab cross over to a new land and the old folks went into the temporary land of blissfulness before departing into the land of nothing more.  Listening to those Hmong Neej Neeg, those Mos ab ultimate dream is landing a Hmong Mekas beau, young or old, they don't care.  Yeah Hmong Mekas is the ultimate prize for one and hmong nplog is for the other

[Believe_N_Me]

Marrying someone overseas is no more a risk than marrying someone in the states. It is very hard to find an older single who is serious and actually taking steps to start fresh. They all have too many wounds that they're not even trying to heal.

[Believe_N_Me]

Honestly, I think many of them are going overseas because it's hard to find an available older single who is attractive. It also doesn't help that they probably have a lot of baggage as well. lol I know it's mean but it's true.

The ones who are decent most likely has a friend with benefits that they are shacking up with and won't detach even though there is no love and they're seeing other people. They're hoping these relationships will work out before they leave each other. lol! So much drama, who wants to step into that when you just left drama. lol!

Speaking on this topic, I just recently discovered that an acquaintance is remarried again. I believe this is her 3rd or 4th marriage. She was first married to a Lao guy. Then a Hmong guy. That must've ended because last year I spotted her with an old guy at the Hmong new year. She definitely did not want to be with him but there they were together. lol. But I just recently saw a photo of her and the most current husband. He is actually pretty handsome and has the appearance of someone competent. 

If she can find a handsome husband for the 3rd/4th time, I guess that should give everybody some hope. 

[Believe_N_Me]

Update:

Go read my post about trauma bond. A lot of older singles form attachments through a trauma bond. It isn't real love and that's why there is a lot of vindictiveness when it ends. Maybe that's why some prefer to marry young folks overseas. Younger people tend to not have the same level of relationship trauma bringing into the relationship.

From people I know, it seems that older singles expect to play house because they claim it will help determine compatibility. But all that seems to do is create trauma bond and create psycho exes when it all falls apart. I'm not trying to be judgmental, but that's what I see and hear from the horse's mouth.

There are a lot of older singles who desire a fresh start, but they really don't follow through due to lack of trust. Everybody is too afraid of each other. Koj tsis ntseeg kuv siab, kuv tsis ntseeg koj siab. How do I know that you will really follow through on your word? I do all this stuff with you and invest my heart, then you start to distance yourself. I will not allow myself to go through another heartbreak. - Know what I mean? Older singles do not have the energy or the time.