What I learned about attraction from "Roxanne"

[Believe_N_Me]

The right person is the one who makes you feel secure.

In this adaptation of the French play Cyrano De Bergerac, Steve Martin plays C.D. - a witty and charismatic fire chief with amazing acrobatic skills - who has a major crush on the beautiful and intelligent Roxanne. However, C.D. is blessed with a gigantic nose and it causes him to have self-esteem issues. C.D. and Roxanne have a brotherly/sisterly friendship. Meanwhile, Roxanne has the butterflies for the town's hunk, Chris. Chris is a firefighter in C.D.'s department and he also has the feels for Roxanne. However, Chris turns into a mumbling idiot in the presence of Roxanne, prompting him to enlist C.D.'s help to woo the woman of his dreams. Roxanne is a woman of many talents and wants a man who can hold deep, meaningful conversations, mixed with a poetic flair. Chris has none of those skills.

Anyways, what happens is that Chris's anxiety becomes too much and he eventually falls for another woman because she is easier to talk to. In the end, it is C.D. who is meant for Roxanne.

The point is that having too much butterflies for someone can be a red flag if it paralyzes you from being your true self.

[JonniJacko]

A steady energy is the way to go. But from experience I also think having too much in common isn't always a good thing. Ultimately, you have to know yourself, and your type. Different people has different attachment styles, care and love language. It's all about figuring out the other person's attachment style, core values, and decide whether they align or not. Haha

[Believe_N_Me]

A steady energy is the way to go. But from experience I also think having too much in common isn't always a good thing. Ultimately, you have to know yourself, and your type. Different people has different attachment styles, care and love language. It's all about figuring out the other person's attachment style, core values, and decide whether they align or not. Haha

 

So what is your attachment style and love language, JJ?

Too many times we think we have a type, but it doesn't mean that we're compatible.

OR, it doesn't mean we can even get our type. 

[JonniJacko]

So what is your attachment style and love language, JJ?

Too many times we think we have a type, but it doesn't mean that we're compatible.

OR, it doesn't mean we can even get our type. 

i'm a little of every style. lols im more of a positive+positive type. If its a positive-negative type then it feels too much like work and unnatural. lols

i think therapists mentions that everybody still needs personal evaluation. because there can be bad intentions from all types. so its really just a very general guide.

[Believe_N_Me]

So you're kind of a JonniJack-of-all-styles. 

They do say that what's meant for you will be for you. Therefore, no need to control the outcome.



 

[JonniJacko]

So you're kind of a JonniJack-of-all-styles. 

They do say that what's meant for you will be for you. Therefore, no need to control the outcome.

Maybe you're right. The doors open but you still have to walk in right?

[Believe_N_Me]

Maybe you're right. The doors open but you still have to walk in right?

Right. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. 

[JonniJacko]

Right. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. 

it's always a gamble, but knowing the odds (i.e your type, your strengths and weaknesses, what traits you are most likely compatible with), esp knowing if its in your favor- then you might just win big..and if not, the loss is minimal. lols It's usually when you know the odds is not in your favor, but you still go all in hoping for a miracle- that's when it stings the most..lols

[Believe_N_Me]

it's always a gamble, but knowing the odds (i.e your type, your strengths and weaknesses, what traits you are most likely compatible with), esp knowing if its in your favor- then you might just win big..and if not, the loss is minimal. lols It's usually when you know the odds is not in your favor, but you still go all in hoping for a miracle- that's when it stings the most..lols

Luck is only 10%. The rest depends on how prepared you are. 

[JonniJacko]

Luck is only 10%. The rest depends on how prepared you are. 

ooo yes, fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

[Believe_N_Me]

This is why you'll see a person stay with someone whose behaved very badly. They may hate the actions, but they feel very comfortable around the person. However, when they're fed up with the disrespectful actions they might finally break up.

A psychologists said that the majority of men date/commit/marry the woman who they're the most comfortable with - not the one they're most attracted to.

Smart men will date/commit to the woman who gives them the least problem even if they're not all that attracted or comfortable with her.

Women are most satisfied with a man who is highly competent.