"You Might Be Dating an Avoidant if..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0wTcYdeh6c&list=PLTi6COY1KUltvVzi4Q2aUA8rnGn2wTjyP&index=3If you think all it takes is love and patience for a relationship to work with an avoidant, you'll end up alone and will have wasted your time. Furthermore, the avoidant will have no remorse or regret after a breakup. In fact, the breakup will give the avoidant a lot of relief because avoidants fear intimacy and vulnerability. Most likely, the avoidant will feel it was justified to discard an ex even for reasons that contradicts why they were with the person in the first place.
After the breakup, it will take at least 2-6 months for the avoidant to feel lonely and depressed, but this comes from a selfish place. They aren't missing you. They are struggling with their own loneliness. Avoidants hate being alone and have a strong desire to feel loved, but they also fear getting too close. Avoidants are notorious for ghosting their partner.
It's a repeated cycle. The avoidant may agree to get back together, usually because their partner reaches out (the avoidant rarely reaches out and if they do it will be in a very indirect way "hitting like, sending a meme, etc."). They agree in order to distract them from feeling lonely. But as soon as things seem great, bam! They will ghost again.
Avoidants are more likely to cheat as well. This is a form of self-sabotage. If they aren't already pushing away their partner, they do this in hopes that their partner will call it quits. Then they don't actually have to verbally break up with their partner.
Sometimes, avoidants will intentionally pick a partner whom they don't see a future with. There is no fear of developing strong feelings.
Avoidants typically have relationships that are filled with highs and lows, and a lot of drama. This kind of stimulation makes the connection feel tangible.
Avoidants don't do well with a healthy and secure partner. They view the calmness as something wrong with the relationship. They need the drama despite claiming that they want peace. They most likely ghost secure partners but will remain committed to avoidant/anxious partners. However, by commitment, we mean on and off.