Would leave your terminally ill spouse if he/she cheats on you?

[theking]

My terminally ill wife is cheating on me — I want to leave but I can’t

My wife and I have known each other for 25 years. We married five years ago. At that time, I was making 500-mile round trips twice a month to visit my children from my first marriage. I was, and still am, crazy about her.

However, two years ago, my wife admitted to a long-term romantic affair with a married man who has two children. She also admitted that she was waiting for him to leave his wife, and that he was waiting for her to leave me before moving in and eventually moving away together, and perhaps marrying.

Shortly after this came out, she became critically ill. She requires 24-hour care, and I have been at her side, monitoring her health and taking her blood pressure. She flatlined once at the hospital, and if I hadn’t been in the room at the time, she would have died.

My wife refuses to give me any details about the affair. There have been signs that she may still be in touch with him, and I think his wife should know. She becomes hysterical at that suggestion, which raises her blood pressure dangerously high. I feel trapped. I fear that if I leave her, she would have no one to care for her and might die. What do you advise?

[Believe_N_Me]

No. Don't stay with someone and make excuses for them just because they have an illness. This guy that I know from years ago did something really offensive that left me feeling a bad type of way. In all my years, nobody in my life had made me feel like that. To this day, he is unchanged. In fact, he is even worse because his aging amplifies it. Turns out that he has a disorder that triggers something in him. Nonetheless, I don't care what his triggers are because how he chooses to act is still a choice.