No one loves you more than your spouse

[Believe_N_Me]

Abusive partners need not apply.

Transactional marriages born out of convenience may be some of the happiest. It seemed like they got together because it was the expected thing to do at that time/age, and they happened to be available. This can work for many years, decades even. They can raise children together, create a peaceful home, and even plan for a relaxing retirement.

This is enough to have a happy life and feel fulfilled.

[Believe_N_Me]

Once you've reached a certain age, you get comfortable with your life. Even if your spouse does something very upsetting, you might put up with it because you don't want to disrupt your routine. At first, you will feel a lot of anger and maybe even rage. But as the days pass and you get back into your routine, the heaviness will lighten up. This must be what the elders mean when they say wait it out.

There are just too much assets to lose.

[Believe_N_Me]

An older sister-in-law said that husbands don't burn their bridges. They never cut off a supply.

A man could hate his wife but he'll never throw her away. He might bring in a new woman but the old one is still useful to him. It is up to the woman to leave if she is unhappy.

[Believe_N_Me]

The secret to a long-lasting marriage is to never leave.

Learn to not allow yourself to get emotionally tied to your spouse. That way you don't feel so hurt when they disappoint you, and you're never afraid to leave if it comes to that point. Oddly enough, when you aren't emotionally attached to them, they respect you more.

[Believe_N_Me]

If you can find someone who is perfectly content with a boring life, hold on to them.

[Believe_N_Me]

Don't ever marry a man if you don't feel that he is totally head over heels in love with you. A man who finds you good enough to marry, will find you good enough to discard. Even if he doesn't discard you because you're still useful to him, his eyes will always be wandering and in his heart he will have cheated a million times.

[Dok_Champa]

That's a lie women are telling themselves, thinking no one outside of their spouse will/can love them.  The world is full of men but I think for women to find that person/love, we need to value ourself, not be like a fish dying without water, a woman dying without the love of a man.  The key to finding love is be yourself, value yourself and a man will value you.  If he does not, he's not the one.  A man who truly values you will find a treasure in you.

[Believe_N_Me]

That's a lie women are telling themselves, thinking no one outside of their spouse will/can love them.  The world is full of men but I think for women to find that person/love, we need to value ourself, not be like a fish dying without water, a woman dying without the love of a man.  The key to finding love is be yourself, value yourself and a man will value you.  If he does not, he's not the one.  A man who truly values you will find a treasure in you.

When a woman says that she loves herself more and doesn't need a man, that means not getting involved in a situation or having a boyfriend, and that she will only give herself to a man who is her husband.

The woman who says that she doesn't need a man but agrees to be someone's girlfriend is only setting herself up to be strung along. That's what our mothers meant when they say that no one loves you more than your spouse. A lot of women give away themselves as a girlfriend, only to find out that the boyfriend was never all that committed (or doesn't feel like he is has much obligations to her).

[Believe_N_Me]

But I do agree that if your husband doesn't love you then you should love yourself first and get out.

[JonniJacko]

BNM, with this perspective, you are headed into a very dark place if you do not take action to correct it. A marriage/commitment should never be base out of convenience, but out of pure love from the heart and soul. Two people feeling a deep connection from within for one another. The only transaction should be pure love. Why trade something meaningful, deep, spiritual, and possibly eternal for something so temporary, so short. Tomorrow is inevitable, if WWIII breaks out and wiped out half the world, houses, cars, all things materialistic will be demolish, If the economy crashed, people lose their jobs.houses, only those who love from the heart and soul will still have what matters most....Loooov eee....hahaha

Any man with pure attention will not, and cannot commit to a woman who does not love him from her heart and soul. He will first look for respect as a human first, second, that she will stick around in tough times, and third, she does not have to die for her husband, but she must be willing to die for his children....In return he shall give her the world and life if it calls for it............ ..

Do not fall for all the High Value, Tyron, and Tyrese mumbo jumbo. It is the devils way to further corrupt women. Men turn and stab the world because of their weakness for women's beauty and to women who has been gaslighted to this artifical idealogy. Women are the key to saving humanity. Not men. The devil knows this, and he specifically target women for this reason

With this mindset, you leave yourself vulnerable, set to get used and abused, and then discard. If any man hold onto you, it is for his own agenda. You exposed to him, or he will sense it eventually, you given him the directions to your heart, and when he gets what he wants, or can't you can stay or go, it does not effect him. As he probably has several other preys.

BNM, please think carefully about this....Has the roads not become familiar to you by now?

Do not trade your body for something or someone who smells your weakness from afar. You will only attract the bad ones.......... ..

Transactional marriages can work out, can outlast its expected expiration date, but it will NEVER be fullfilling nor rewarding..... ..........It will most likely be a hell of misery........ .............. ..............

These are not my words, these are the words through the TRUTH......... ..the real truth.......

[Believe_N_Me]

Perhaps I'm not expressing myself in ways that is understood by most people. We've become too programmed by rom-coms, Disney, books, etc.

What I'm saying is that in order to have the most satisfying type of love is a marriage rooted in deep affection, admiration, and appreciation for each other. However, two people should not have to take years that include sex, spending a lot of time together, and playing house to know if they want marriage with each other. After enjoying each other's presence through conversations (and this can include being physically present), you should know that you want to do all the aforementioned with them. If you do, then you should start considering marriage because you really should only be doing those things within the context of a marriage.

The majority of people who play house before marriage end up very broken, and they carry that into all subsequent relationships, including marriage. This has already been proven true by marriage counselors, experts, coaches, etc.

When you sleep and spend time with someone, your body and your actions are making a non-verbal promise. This is where misunderstandi ngs happen and then people become broken. Even if they eventually move on to find someone else, the scar is always there. Very few people can move on from their ex(es) and it seems that the more toxic past relationships they've had, the more broken they are.

These are people who get into relationships (or rather "situationships") for the sake of breaking up.

[Believe_N_Me]

I've said it before. The men I meet who were in long-term cohabitation are so very broken in comparison to the divorced men.

Divorced guys have a different type of wound. Note: I'm not talking about the liars and cheaters who sabotaged their own marriage. Anyways, they still feel hopeful about commitment. They know that they were just with a person who checked out. And like I said, divorced guys court differently, too. They don't have all these expectations to play house before commitment. This is very different with men who just dated long-term girlfriends. These guys want to play house. They want you to put in all this effort and investment BEFORE the commitment, to see if they want to commit to you. In other words, they want the milk and the cow before they want to buy. Most of the time, they don't buy the cow afterwards because they're only looking for flaws. They end up creating a lot of anxiety in the woman. They're used to these freebies and have a harder time of bonding. Whereas the men who had to buy the cow first, understand that you have to buy the cow first before you can drink the milk.

And the guys who know they have to buy the cow first value their time as well. They don't want to keep drinking milk that they're unsure about.