My father’s “green lady”….In all of my conversations with my father, we’ve never really talked about how he got married. We would talk about him growing up as an orphaned lad – essentially an indentured servant to the Hmong families who took him in. There were many tearful stories of him growing up dirt poor, starving, orphaned, enslaved, alone, and for many years to live in fear. He would share his stories in hopes of instilling humbleness, compassion, and love in me for the years to come after his death.
I cannot fathom the idea that one day I can just stop thinking about him as many would suggest me to. My father’s memories are embedded deep within me. It’s his memories that make me go the distance. His teachings of love, forgiveness and compassion have made their homes in my heart. My fathers’ whimsical funny personality he wears on his sleeves to hide the pain he carries deep in his heart – unlike many others who stay only around for the laughter, I remain to see the tears.
During his funeral – I met my father’s ‘green lady’ for the first time. She was a thin lady about my height who carried herself humbly. She greeted me and said how beautifully we’ve grown. Green lady was such a kind lady. She had prepared a special Hmong poetry (paj hua) for the funeral and wanted to make sure we didn’t miss it. In our short conversations here and there throughout those three days, I could feel her genuine kindness and love for my father as if he was one of her own brothers.
It was the green lady’s turn at the altar. She sounds off her poetry but her voice crackles and tears stream down. She took deep breaths and composed herself and continues onward. This song that she composed has allowed me to hear about my father’s life the day he wed his beautiful bride. It was amazingly beautiful and so descriptive I felt like I was there watching a caravan of the Her clan making their journey in the hot sun on dusty roads to bring back a bride. I loved the poetry and I loved her for providing missing pieces of my father’s life.
Today I’ve learned that this sweet green lady has passed away. It saddens me deeply. This brave woman who was only a little girl who accompanied my father that day and learned so much in her early years. Be true to yourself. Give when you don’t think you have anything left, you might just be surprised. Love simply with no expectations. Be humble and respectful.
I’ll remember those same thoughts my father shared with you green lady. Farewell humble green lady, until we meet again.
For you and my father - whose faith in the Lord has replaced your days of tears and sorrows with joy and sunshine.
