Bars and Club After Marriage?

[DuMa]

ducking other men is not a good hobby for anyone who calls herself a wife. 

My effed up wife for your good wife.  If you want them fresher, i can get you my gf.  Now that's what i call as an even exchange.

[theking]

Long story short I grew up in a pretty traditional family.
I was never allowed to go out late, sleep over at friends or relatives.  No piercings, no tattoos and crazy colored hair was out of the picture. 
So obviously growing up and reaching my early 20's I never drank, partied hard or did any substances of any sort.  Never even experienced what a club was until I was 21. 

Now from my early 20's reaching to my mid 20's I occasionally will go out with friends to the bars or clubs.

Yes I am married; I never take my ring off.  I make it clear I am married when men approach me and my Husband always knows where I am at and whom I am with.

He's doesn't drink and does not like to club and go to the bars.

One time I ran into his buddy, of course I said "Hi." 
They always ask where my Husband is and I always give the same response "He's at home, bars and clubbing is not his scene." 
Don't get me wrong I don't go out every weekend, but when I do it's always just the girls and there are a few that are indeed married.

Anyways fast forward, my Husband picked me up one night after I was out with my friends and we went out for some late night food and ran into his same buddy.  His buddy's response was "Dang, you are one loyal guy, I keep running into your wife and I don't see you ever."

Which I assume is apparently a lot when we have only ran into each other twice and both times my Husband was aware of where and when I was. 

I wanted to so badly speak my mind and say "Excuse me?  Are you saying I am un-loyal because I am seen without him? And I am sorry you apparently have never heard of something called trust."

But I bit my tongue and did not say a thing.

Was I overthinking or not?
My Husband and I have talked over this matter before and he allows me to go out and hang out with friends.  I always ask him if it bothers him that I go to the clubs or bars once in a while and he says no cause he trust me.  But I can’t help but also feel bad.  I have never cheated or done anything wrong.  After a night of going out I always tell him how it went and if men approached me I tell him what happened and how I handled it.  I tell him just because we share everything.   

Was it wrong of me to be upset his friend said that?

As long as you and your husband are OK with that set up, don't worry about "buddy"  primitive caveman wrong assumption..

[theking]

Sadly there are still too many primitives with short sighted narrow views out there..

[Reporter]

Oh, ok. I hope you don't fall for him.

In all honesty no he's not
And probably cause that's how that guy and his group of friends are.. Always out and about

[Reporter]

Would your dad have forced the marriage if you two were ever late coming back?

No he was deathly afraid of my dad so I never went home late nor did he ever bring me home late

[Reporter]

Then you won't be hooked too easily. But do you drink other kinds?

Good thing I don't drink Coronas

[DuMa]

You have to keep things healthy.  Being unhealthy is when she wants to go with her friends but made you buy her advanced tix. 

[Cali Guy]

Done.

[joot]

 My question to you married folks out there who still goes clubbing...is this: where do you draw the line?  When a guy flirts with you, are you prepared to brush them off?  If a guy buys you a drink, you take it?  If a guy ask to to dance, are you ok with it because it's only dancing? If a guy volunteers to give you a ride home, are you ok with that?  Where do you draw the line...?

[YAX]

and if you're still married, how long have you been married?  1 year? 10 years?

[theking]

Doesn't matter if you're honest or not.  Going to clubs as a married woman without your husband around spells trouble.  When has it ever gone good?

Have you heard any of the following phrases yet? 

"Your happiness comes first"
"You should be happy"
"You deserve better".

I hope not, but when you do, that divorce is just around the corner.  People don't see it till it's too late.

Uhhhh, she already stated that she's been going out and it's all "good"...But then again, you like to make assumptions and claims without any evidence to back it up...so nothing new.

[theking]

yawns... like nkaujsee said... live your life... no marriage is perfect... just don't give his friend(s) any satisfaction of second guessing your love and loyalty to your husband... a lot like how many male phers on here are second guessing you as a person... best of luck to u...

Sadly that's how it is with some. All they see is Black and White so when a situation is outside of their short sighted narrow view, they just assume that all situations are the same..with no evidence to back it up..

[theking]

All you insecure married folks that don't trust your spouse, how do you control your spouse from going out? Lock him/her up? Spy on him/her every second of the day?

Here's a fact, if your spouse is going to cheat on you, it doesn't have to be at the club. It could be at your own home...

[joot]

^^ The club scene offers more meeting opportunities with the opposite sex.  Even if the wife didn't mean to "meet" anyone at first, the club scene offers that opportunity.  Let's be honest here, most guys go clubbing to pick up woman, married, single doesn't matter.  As long as the woman gives consent, the guy will go for it, if given the opportunity.  True, if she is unfaithful to begin with, she will find ways to have an affair.  I'm just stating that the club scene will facilitate the urge to want to meet new friends...

[joot]

It's is not a matter of being insecure.  The wife wanting to do her own thing, in this case go clubbing, is already a sign of cracks in the marriage.  If she goes once in a while like during her friend's b-day, wedding anniversary, etc. and it's a one time thing, it may be fine.  The question then becomes, what if she goes on a regular basis, what then?