I probably pissed a couple of primitives off but I need to clearly point out right vs wrong here..
Since I'm considered an "elder" now by some, I was invited to a Hmong style mediation recently. Basically, a young Hmong couple was separated because the husband cheated on the wife so the wife went to live with her parents.
The husband and a couple of his elders came over and tried to convince the wife to go back with them by using the old Hmong ways...
Even though the wife didn't do anything wrong in this case, some of the elders present were insinuating that perhaps, she needs to be a better wife and be more patient ...blah blah blah...In a nut shell, insinuating she caused him to cheat on her...
I pretty much just shut that unjust assumption down by saying the wife didn't do anything wrong so the blame needs to be directed towards the husband..After all, he and he alone made the decision to cheat on his wife.
If I was the parents and/or parents in law, I would beat the crap out of that young man for being an idiot and hope he can learn from it. And as the young wife's parents and/or parents in law, I wouldn't persuade her either way but allow her some time to think things over and let her know that what ever decision she chooses, I would support her because she's the innocent victim in this case...