Relationship: Best not to know

[DuMa]

Just last weekend, I was invited to a friend's party.  Sitting in front of me at the same table is my ex gf of 4.5 years mom.  When I was dating my ex, I got close to her family and everyday, her dad and mom would often fight and planning their divorce.  4.5 years, it never happen.  Long story short, she cheated on me with my friend, my co worker and many other people.  I forgave her a few times but I finally ended it.  Just last week was the 25th year since I broke up with the ex.  Her mom is with another man and he looks like a half bag of chip, a big downgrade if you are asking me.  Her mom kept on looking at me while she was dancing.  I felt uncomfortable and I had an anxiety attack.  Even the mirrors from across the room was a reflection of my face so she kept on looking at me.  We never spoke a word but we know who we are to one another.  I was avoiding this family for 25 years and thinking back, I wasted 4.5 years of my college life with this family and their broken family affairs.  Her mom was probably embarrassed to see me because she is with a different man and she looks rather sad and unhappy.  We never talk but I remembered when I was walking up to that table, she looked at me in the eyes and I said hello madame, not knowing who she was at first.  Once I glued one and one together is when my anxiety strikes.  Glad we never talk because I really hate to get a follow up to what all of the people in her family are doing.  Best not to know.

Sometimes in life, you can move along with your life by not knowing.   

[Believe_N_Me]

I will never understand people who invest so much into a person who isn't their spouse. When it doesn't work out, they're all broken and jaded. It causes them to hold back on the next person, who probably was their one. But they sabotaged it and now they're telling themselves that it wasn't "the one'". That's when they'll freak out and choose the next person to come along and that person will be toxic as hell, just like all their exes. 

[DuMa]

Ran into an old friend and business related partner the other day.  She is the director of all them Doctors at her hospital so she held a high up position.  Last I heard, she was sick and had to terminate her job.  They held onto her office and her job for her for about 6 months because she needed the healthcare for her sickness. 

Saw her the other day and I wasn't sure if she was a ghost or not.  She came up to me and said "do you remember me???:::""  I was shocked to even see her because I thought she was really dead.  The only common disease that can put a person out from work is a terminal illness like cancer or so.  It was just a quick hi and she told me to send her regards to my fellow co workers.  I never wanted to dig into her lifestyle or to her disease.  IF she wanted to tell me, she would of but I was in no position to drag it out from her.  She might be divorce because she was an unattractive chinese woman who married a white guy and has 1 pretty looking half mixed daughter.  With White people, when the income stops flowing and you loses your house and everything, they will divorce you.  She looks rather poor when I saw her.  I hope her the best.

Sometimes, it is best not to know.  I have told my co workers that she sent them her regards but I'm glad I did not have to answer them 20 questions from them.  Best not to know

[Believe_N_Me]

Duma,

I was actually starting to feel concern for you when you stopped showing up on PH. A lot of men in your age bracket have kicked the bucket in the last 3 years. I remember you said that if we stopped seeing you then it's because you finally tied the knot. lol But I wasn't sure that had happened. 

Anyways, "yes" it's true about white people. The marriage doesn't even have to have soured or anything  and they'll still want a divorce because they want to be independent. There is a fobby Hmong chick who married a chubby, unattractive white guy and she had a thriving Youtube channel. I think she is one of those oversea brides or something. Anyways, her channel was all about her married life to a white dude and of course, she had a large following of Hmong women who needed to believe that interracial marriage to a white dude can work. You know, those anti-Hmong women who feel compelled to prove everyone wrong.

Guess what? They are now divorced and she made a video about it. Apparently, they've been trying to have a baby and the white dude can't. Therefore, he doesn't want to "burden" her and have her start feeling resentful so he asked for a divorce. He supposedly still loves her but doesn't want to hold her back ----> it's what they always say. 

Another story of Hmong woman married to white guy.

A couple had been dating for almost 10 years before tying the knot. They were very young when they met and fell in love so it wasn't like she hardly knew him. Anyways, they were married for 20 years (so they've been together for a total of 30 years). This was a couple who was in love with each other and created a happy, healthy home. They have children together, too. Anyways, one day the husband got severely injured at work. Thankfully, he did not die but he did have to spend a year in therapy and recovery. He is not completely mobile and that will be his life moving forward. Being a Hmong wife, she doesn't care and still loves him. She believes it's her obligation to support him and take care of him, but being a white dude, he can't have that. He doesn't want to be a "burden" on her. Yep, dude filed for divorce. He gave her everything from the sale of their house due to feeling guilty about being an invalid. 

[DuMa]

Duma,

I was actually starting to feel concern for you when you stopped showing up on PH. A lot of men in your age bracket have kicked the bucket in the last 3 years. I remember you said that if we stopped seeing you then it's because you finally tied the knot. lol But I wasn't sure that had happened. 

Anyways, "yes" it's true about white people. The marriage doesn't even have to have soured or anything  and they'll still want a divorce because they want to be independent. There is a fobby Hmong chick who married a chubby, unattractive white guy and she had a thriving Youtube channel. I think she is one of those oversea brides or something. Anyways, her channel was all about her married life to a white dude and of course, she had a large following of Hmong women who needed to believe that interracial marriage to a white dude can work. You know, those anti-Hmong women who feel compelled to prove everyone wrong.

Guess what? They are now divorced and she made a video about it. Apparently, they've been trying to have a baby and the white dude can't. Therefore, he doesn't want to "burden" her and have her start feeling resentful so he asked for a divorce. He supposedly still loves her but doesn't want to hold her back ----> it's what they always say. 

Another story of Hmong woman married to white guy.

A couple had been dating for almost 10 years before tying the knot. They were very young when they met and fell in love so it wasn't like she hardly knew him. Anyways, they were married for 20 years (so they've been together for a total of 30 years). This was a couple who was in love with each other and created a happy, healthy home. They have children together, too. Anyways, one day the husband got severely injured at work. Thankfully, he did not die but he did have to spend a year in therapy and recovery. He is not completely mobile and that will be his life moving forward. Being a Hmong wife, she doesn't care and still loves him. She believes it's her obligation to support him and take care of him, but being a white dude, he can't have that. He doesn't want to be a "burden" on her. Yep, dude filed for divorce. He gave her everything from the sale of their house due to feeling guilty about being an invalid. 

Well I'm still around and I have always been around.  Lurking to see some bickering but instead of wasting my time here, I wasted my time elsewhere.  IT is still a waste of time, no matter how you slice it.   

Even if I'm married, the spouse will not know about my altered ego on PH.  If she finds out, how am I going to explain my X amount of post counts thus why and throughout the years, I have made many different screen names by choice so that my counts would fall back to 0.  In life, it is healthy to allow your spouse to keep what is theirs like their secret double life, as long as it is healthy.  I mean if you trust someone, you gotta give them that level of trust so no, she's not going to lurking at my facebook account because a person needs their privacy too plus it also test the relationship like having the devil lurks and if your relationship is strong enough, the devil will not win.  Tempting yes but nope, not going to happen.  Once again, it is best not to know.  I don't even care about her facebook account either.  I give them enough rope and if she stray, she can go hang herself with it. 

This best not to know policy may not work for everyone.  Sometimes it is best to regulate to keep a person's straight.  I mean to some people, it is the law of the land and/or the law of god that prevents a person from being a savage therefore, I must follow the law or faces consequences. 

Regarding people my age are dying young... My gosh, just 2 weeks ago, a buddy died of a heart attack and he passed in his sleep.  He's the 5th guy I know that died with cardiac arrest within 5 years.  All within the 35 to 45 age range.  I tell you something.  5 of them have something in common.  All overweight.  2 have something in common.  One guy working his lawn on a hot 100 degrees weather and went inside to drink a nice cold cup of ice water and had a stroke and died.  This recent guy took his family on a vacation retreat and once there, drank a cup of code ice water and took a nap for a few but never woke up. 

I do know that if something is hot and you throw cold on it, it may shatter.  This is why I only drink warm to hot water like tea.  No more cold drinks for me.  It makes no sense to why our younger folks are dying so young.  This stroke or heart attack business are usually them older folks who at least past their 60's.  Now the age gap for diseases are dropping and even colon cancer screen is no longer for the 50 and up group but now dropping down to the 45 and up for screening.  I went and took a lab test for myself right away and my numbers are all normal.  My hmong buddy who passed left behind his young wife and 9 young children.  His dad passed away just last year.  His body is still in the fridge and they are having his funeral in early May due to reservations booking issue as it's dying season for hmong folks.  Spread the word and stay healthy and watch out for one another please.