Why is the older singles dating pool primarily made up of avoidants?

[Believe_N_Me]

Unfortunately, I don't have the link to the video but looks like it's confirmed that dating as an older single simply sucks for the sole reason that most of the people are avoidants.

If you don't know what an avoidant attachment style is, you will need to look it up or go back and find my posts about it. But it is simply the worst attachment style to have a relationship with because many of the traits are similar to narcissism. While not all avoidants are narcissists, all narcissists are avoidant.

So why is the older singles dating pool made up of primarily avoidants? Because avoidants have a hard time creating healthy relationships, many do not keep relationships and end up being single into their older years. Even when they are in a connection, there isn't a true commitment (something that is very indicative of an avoidant attachment style) so it's always an open door policy anyways.

On the other hand, secure people tend to find their partner at a younger age and because they can have healthy relationships, they stay in them.

Anxious people can grow to become secure (especially if they find a secure partner), but even if they don't, they're always in and out of relationships, therefore they're often unavailable.

And that is why it's hard to find a compatible partner in the older years because most are very avoidant. That explains why older singles prefer situationships, such as cohabitation, or monogamy while living separately, friends with benefits, etc. Avoidants tend to prefer situationships . Secure older singles have to either agree to a situationship or opt out of the dating game entirely. Most secure people will do the latter because they know situationships incite nothing but emotional and mental anguish. It is not satisfying to a secure person to have one foot in and one foot out the door.

When people agree to a situationship, they most likely are an avoidant or have avoidant traits. Anxious people will agree only because they have an avoidant partner and operate from a state of abandonment wounds. However, a secure person will not agree to a situationship.
 

[JonniJacko]

Dismissive avoidants choose to stay sad, broken and bitter. It gives them a lot of emotional stimulation and emit a lot of it to others as well. This is why some people tend to be drawn to "broken" people. LOL That broken person fear that if they become secure and happy, then they will get the ax...

this is why I always tell people, make sure the other person loves you because you're happy, not because you're down and out...lol

[Believe_N_Me]

Dismissive avoidants choose to stay sad, broken and bitter. It gives them a lot of emotional stimulation and emit a lot of it to others as well. This is why some people tend to be drawn to "broken" people. LOL That broken person fear that if they become secure and happy, then they will get the ax...

this is why I always tell people, make sure the other person loves you because you're happy, not because you're down and out...lol

Players love vulnerable people because they have low expectations. What's easier than to target someone just coming out of a relationship? They know that happy people don't need them and probably wouldn't be attracted to them.