Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

[baddabing]

All,

I don’t mean to be unsympathetic to your cause and I would be lying if I say I have not heard of these problems before…

But this is much more than a “Laos” issue; this is a universal issue with cheating husbands and wives. To say Laos is to be blamed for everything would be wrong and untrue. If your husband or your wife is going to cheat… he or she will cheat on you, no matter which country or economic situation they are in. Bad people will do bad things. To drive down a point, it’s like blaming guns for killing people. NO, guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Yes, it is true that guns make it much easier to kill, but the point is people will do what they want to do.

If these people are willing to cheat on you if they vacation in Laos or Thailand, what makes you think they have NOT cheated on you here? What’s going to stop them from cheating altogether? My guess is that prior to going to Laos or Thailand, he/she already has it in his or her mind to do these things.

I see Laos for what it is; a place where I was born and where my parents grew up. I see Laos as a country with a rich and beautiful culture, as with many southeast asian countries; I see rice patties, hiking trails, street markets, street vendors, forgotten relatives, dirt roads and breath taking hillsides.

I have always been a half-glass full type of person… and to generalize Laos in such a negative view would be a dishonor to yourself. You would have missed out on too much beauty and culture.

With this said, can everyone please stay on track. This thread is really for those who are interested in going to Laos for cultural and historical purposes… to enjoy the land, it’s culture, to reconnect with forgotten relatives, see what it means when people say “that’s how we used to live” and nothing more. Again, please contribute but please stay on track.

Thank you,

LHG

I am not blaming anyone oversea for all these problems.  They are poor over there, if anyone wants to send them money, it's not their fault.

As for those over here that have wives and families already without problems but would seek to ruin their lives by going oversea then let them deal with their own problems and don't help and support them.  Why help out a person who chooses to mess up his life and his family's life.

Now for those who have no issues here at home, like the singles or somebody who have already been divorced, they are free to go and do as they please.

[baddabing]

Right now were not just talking about those old fart.  We got a lot of them people who are in their early and mid 30's doing the same stuff.  A month ago went to a distant cousin house for their New Year thing.  My husband point out to me that the lady in the black high boot all dress up is a 2nd wife to that guy that was just sitting down talking to us.  I'm like.........  Like my husband said many that married their wife from Thailand and Laos......just the look and appearance there is plenty of them here in the US and no need for those 2 country.  If they find one that is very hot, sexy and pretty then it be a big "Wow" and no disappointment ........ 

Sorry your thread is going off topic.  Its very common these day that everyone is traveling to Laos.  I have no problem when they are doing it in a good way but for some...... life is happy back home and better but they just want to seek trouble.

LIke i said, if a person has good reason or is free to married somebody over there and deserves the help then helping him out is ok.  But not those who are selfish and just chooses to ruin their family's lives over here all becus they just want a young bride.  For those, I would let them take care of their own problem especially if their income doesn't even qualify to bring somebody here, why stick your nose into their corrupted problems.

What ever u do, don't let your husband petition to be the fiance to help bring somebody's wife here for them, it's a very difficult and stressful process.  The embassy will want proof of them having a real genuine relationship, along with photos of them together as lovers, and other things as well.  And worst, whether it works out of not, your husbands name and identity will be on file/ record for good.  If caught for lying, he will be charge with federal crime.

[baddabing]

Sorri for taking this threat a bit off topic.

I just want to clarify, Laos is not to blame for anyone's problem, people inflicted problems upon themselves.

If you are just going there for fun and vacation and to see the country, it will be a great and fun trip.

[cyber_loner]

Does anyone have good recommendation s on places to eat authentic Laotion food, in Vientiane and around....

Was watching this cooking show where a Chef went from North Laos to the South and tasted all the many foods on offer however the show did not mention much where the places he ate were located

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Does anyone have good recommendation s on places to eat authentic Laotion food, in Vientiane and around....

Was watching this cooking show where a Chef went from North Laos to the South and tasted all the many foods on offer however the show did not mention much where the places he ate were located

***Food in Laos***

Good topic for the day...

Dogs... yes, it's true that dogs are eaten in Laos. You may joke about it, you may make comments about it and you may even want to try it yourself. But just know that much of the rumors surrounding dogs are untrue. Firstly, dogs are consider a delicacy in Laos and it is very expensive, so NO, someone is not going to try and slip you some dog and call it something else. Second, dogs are treated as lifestock in Laos and not so much as pets. Please keep an open mind while you're there, many other countries see food differently than you and I.

Street Vendors... I have heard stories of people getting sick after eating "street food" there. As with anything, always be careful of what you eat and where you eat it. If it looks suspcious, leave it alone. If it looks dirty, it is probably dirty. Just use some common sense... but at the same time, don't shy away from tasting all those good eats.

Meat and protein... Yes, it is true that there is very little meat or protein in their diets. Meat, especially fresh meat is very hard to come by and is very expensive. According my cousin, 1 kg of meat (2 lbs) is about 30,000 kip or the equivalent of a person's daily salary. So, think about it, work for a day and you get 1 kg of meat... Not really feasable for the common person. Keep this in mind when you're visiting your cousin and there is no meat on the table. They eat lots of veges and fruits, which is not a bad thing for some of us fat hmong mekas.

Water... As someone mentioned earlier, don't drink well water. Only drink bottle water or water that has been boiled. You will get sick, our body are not built like theirs, our immune systems are weak and we will not be able fight the off any of the pathogens like our relatives there.

Fruits, Veges, Bugs and more... go for it. And please send pics of what you ate or saw! I am looking forward to some deep fried grasshoppers myself!

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Are you serious? LOL Don't forget to take pix of you eating it.

Tiag tiag mas leej muam!

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Oh, and don't forget the fresh lychee...Hope they still have it during this time of the year. Gosh, I'm so jealous of you. I wonder if they're having a hmong NY there during the time that you'll be there?

ST -

Oh you bet... lychee, rambutans, mangos, papaya, guavas, jack fruits, pineapples.... not sure what will be in seaon, but you name it and I will eat it. It will be a fruit cocktail of epic proportions! I will be like a kid on Christmas morning!

New Years in Phonsavan is Dec. 13, I should make it just in time.

[SummerBerry]

LIke i said, if a person has good reason or is free to married somebody over there and deserves the help then helping him out is ok.  But not those who are selfish and just chooses to ruin their family's lives over here all becus they just want a young bride.  For those, I would let them take care of their own problem especially if their income doesn't even qualify to bring somebody here, why stick your nose into their corrupted problems.

What ever u do, don't let your husband petition to be the fiance to help bring somebody's wife here for them, it's a very difficult and stressful process.  The embassy will want proof of them having a real genuine relationship, along with photos of them together as lovers, and other things as well.  And worst, whether it works out of not, your husbands name and identity will be on file/ record for good.  If caught for lying, he will be charge with federal crime.

The process for my sil from Thailand.  If you have $$ there is actually step you can skip and make the process faster.  They did that when they were in Thailand and the Thai just took them straight to the Embassy and the next thing you know she came home with them. 

I know my husband is not going to do such stupid thing to help out someone because like he said his cousin had a good wife and what he did is his own faulted.  He want help go find someone else so that why my husband told him to go talk to Lao-Family or agency that help with the process....... ...

My husband does have a brother older than him by 2-3 year that died in Thailand in 94/95.  He left behind a son.  Most people probably heard of his case because at the time there where was still Hmong that they keep referring to White Water village.  He got poisoned by his wife and her side of the people.  His son that he left behind if the birth was taken place in the hospital he would have official document but because he didn't nothing otherwise they might even petition or try to get him to the come to the US.  This brother he is not a proud brother at all for his selfish acting and what he does to end his life.  He even got his Master's degree from UOP but never pick up his degree/certificate.  They won't even released it to my in-laws either.  The wife he married is just a little girl who was probably just 12/13 or just hit puberty.  She cost 9 big silver bars at that time when nowadays it just 3/4. 

Their brother he has a bipolar side to him too.  When he died it make sense with his 9 year time frame that the monk told him he would live the longest.  When his brother went to see the monk about something my husband was away from home attending undergraduate school.  His brother told the monk that something been bothering him.  The monk told him that because their house sit in the way of the dragon and the dragon has no way of moving or getting out.  The monk told him that if he doesn't move out of the house then in 3 year he will died.  If he does then 9 year will be the longest he will ever live..........  He came home and kept convincing his parent to move out of the house to another one.  My in-laws at that time didn't want to move because they said they won't be able to find another house with 5 bedroom that is Housing/Section 8.  Somehow they did move out of the house before the 3 year time frame.  When my bil died in Thailand and everyone look back at the time frame it is closed to that 9 year.  Some Hmong elders even said that if at the time they knew his situation..... ..they would have done jingle bells to reverse it.......... 

Just earlier this year the son turn 18 yo. and somehow got married too.  We all end up paying for the cost of it equal to 3-4 silver bars.  At 1st they agree to half and half but at the end they told us to take full responsibility for it.  We never asked my mil how it went at the end.  This son quit school and all he does is haus yias mam/do drug....  The mother already died some year ago so he was just living with his Yawg and Tais. 

I've been with my husband for 15 year and he never told me the part about his mother seeking the monk until a month ago when we was in Fresno attending a distant relative New Year thing.  OGs was talking here and there about Laos and somehow it just came up that my husband was talking about his brother situation.

[baddabing]

Regarding bringing somebody over here, there's a waiting period (3 to 4 months) over here in the u.s for your appication to get approve before the application gets send over sea to the embassy there for the next step.  From my understanding bribery might work oversea, but not here in the u.s., it would be serious crime.  Anyway, Im sure oversea money talks so anything can happen.

What about all these stories of people being poison oversea?  Did they really get poison, or just speculations?

People will only want to kill you if you've done something really really aweful to them.  Or your evil spouse want u dead to inherit your money.

[SummerBerry]

Regarding bringing somebody over here, there's a waiting period (3 to 4 months) over here in the u.s for your appication to get approve before the application gets send over sea to the embassy there for the next step.  From my understanding bribery might work oversea, but not here in the u.s., it would be serious crime.  Anyway, Im sure oversea money talks so anything can happen.

What about all these stories of people being poison oversea?  Did they really get poison, or just speculations?

People will only want to kill you if you've done something really really aweful to them.  Or your evil spouse want u dead to inherit your money.

The case with my bil......he did get poison by his own wife and family/relatives.  When he died the son/child they have together was born not long but still need milk.  My mil still has the generous to send the relatives on their side that was living in that same town some $$ to go buy some milk for my nephew.  The relative took the milk to them and said it was from the grandson grandmother.  They said they didn't want the milk at all so they took it back and called my mil and told her what happen so she told them they can keep the milk for themselves or give it to someone else who need it.  A couple months later they start to bother my in-laws about sending money and help this and that. 

My husband told me the process to ship his brother body back to the US.  If they didn't have that connection with someone they were working with earlier on some kind of lawsuit then maybe it wouldn't even happen at all.

[Gawmp]

SB so they only wanted his money and for him to make a son for them?

[baddabing]

The case with my bil......he did get poison by his own wife and family/relatives.  When he died the son/child they have together was born not long but still need milk.  My mil still has the generous to send the relatives on their side that was living in that same town some $$ to go buy some milk for my nephew.  The relative took the milk to them and said it was from the grandson grandmother.  They said they didn't want the milk at all so they took it back and called my mil and told her what happen so she told them they can keep the milk for themselves or give it to someone else who need it.  A couple months later they start to bother my in-laws about sending money and help this and that. 

My husband told me the process to ship his brother body back to the US.  If they didn't have that connection with someone they were working with earlier on some kind of lawsuit then maybe it wouldn't even happen at all.

I'm very curious with all these poisoning cases, so my question is why did they poisoned him? 

[Gawmp]

I'm very curious with all these poisoning cases, so my question is why did they poisoned him? 

they probably figured out that the dude is a no-gooder and won't be able to bring their daughter to the US, so someone else probably offered to marry their daughter and bring her over (speculating here...  )

The last time I was in Laos visiting my relatives, there was this neighbor who is the relative of a guy that lives in MN. This guy married a gal and brought her in to live with this relative. I asked my uncle to see how long this couple have been married. He said they've been married for about 3 years already. I then asked how come she's still in Laos? Uncle told me that the dude is still working on divorcing his wife in MN, but the wife in MN is not willing to divorce him. So for 3 years he's been married to the new gal and he goes and stay with her 6 months at a time.

I'm thinking this is probably going to lead to him being poisined by her or her family.

[baddabing]

SB so they only wanted his money and for him to make a son for them?

From my understanding, when somebody wants to you dead, you have really screw them over, or they will inherit a huge chunk of $$$$$$ from your passing away.

Think about it, and ask youself why would you want somebody dead?  It takes a lot for you to want to do somebody in.

[baddabing]

they probably figured out that the dude is a no-gooder and won't be able to bring their daughter to the US, so someone else probably offered to marry their daughter and bring her over (speculating here...  )

The last time I was in Laos visiting my relatives, there was this neighbor who is the relative of a guy that lives in MN. This guy married a gal and brought her in to live with this relative. I asked my uncle to see how long this couple have been married. He said they've been married for about 3 years already. I then asked how come she's still in Laos? Uncle told me that the dude is still working on divorcing his wife in MN, but the wife in MN is not willing to divorce him. So for 3 years he's been married to the new gal and he goes and stay with her 6 months at a time.

I'm thinking this is probably going to lead to him being poisined by her or her family.

True, some of these OG's can't even get their shitt straighten out here at home and they go and start more shitt over there too.  I think it's pretty messup and irresponsible.  But one things for sure, don't go over there and do what ever you want to them, everyone has feelings and limits.

In the case you're talking about, unless he doesn't treat her good, doesn't care to send her money and also refused to let her go then it might end tragically for him.  But if he's supporting her and treating her good even though he can't bring her here, she should be ok with it.

I have a relative who has a wife here already but went and married his 2nd wife in laos and just decided to leave her there.  However, he treats her good, built her a nice house over there, so her parents are ok with it.  He plans to go retire there eventually, but well see what happens.