Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Thank you for sharing your journey with us back at home. You write beautifully and through your words, I was able to travel with you and see the proverty in our hmong people. Makes me appreciate what I have here more.

Thank you Sleepless... first time blogging. I am glad you enjoy it. Thank you.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Formerly PRINCESS. here.

Well, most of my immediate family members immigrated to the states before 1979. I wasn't born yet. I really have no desire to visit Laos and I've been given many opportunities to. However after reading through your blog, I do feel like I owe it to my dad and the ppl who sacrificed their lives to get us here. It's a big part of our history and perhaps I will visit one day.

Thanks for the updates. I enjoy reading them.

Hey Princess...

Yes... There are many sides to Laos, but I am sure you knew this already. I do hope you can come here someday.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Good Evening PH… Hope all is well tonight, it’s almost midnight!

This is my second trip to None Hai, a town that is quite remote in terms of location and accessibility. Most Hmong-Americans either avoid this area or does not know about it, which is a shame. None Hai is very beautiful and much more lay back than KM52, Phonsavan or Luang Prabang. The town of None Hai itself is small and sits in a valley surrounded by lush green hills, rivers and streams. Rainy season starts at the end of April and lasts goes until the end of August. About 90 percent of the Hmong here still farms, either in the rice patties or on the hills nearby. The soil is dark and rich, perfect for rice cultivation. In fact, the fields and surrounding hills here are some of the most fertile soil in Laos.

My aunt, who I am currently visiting, lives in a small village just north of None Hai. She and her family of 6 have been here for about 8 years now. Her family decided to move here from Xieng Khoung, when her husband could no longer find suitable farmland in Phonsavan. The soil in Phonsavan is sandy and poor in nutrients, her husband told me, and a typical plot of land is only good for one growing season.

My aunt’s house sits on the main road leading into None Hai, a location that’s less than perfect she tells me. During the dry season, heavy trucks come and go during all hours of the day, kicking up dust and dirt to a point where it is almost unbearable. As evident, all the nearby trees, bushes and homes have a thick layer of dirt, like fresh fallen snow in winter.

This morning, I was up at the crack of dawn. Not wanting to fall off my diet, I decided to go for a run. I ran for 30 minutes before returning home, just as the kids in my aunt’s village were walking to school. I must stick out like a sore thumb because everyone had a strange smile on their face; no one in Laos goes running just to run. In Laos, you’re only running if you’re in trouble or if your life depended on it, a fact my aunt later told me. On my way back, I was thirsty and stopped by a small shop on the side of the road. There were 3-4 shops that sold exactly the same items, but the store closest to home caught my attention. Again, it was the pretty face that attracted my attention… the shopkeeper was a young Hmong women, her name is May Vang.

Miss Vang is 23 years old, a recent divorcee of two years. Her family still lives in Phonsavan and her ex husband is from KM52. After her divorce, she settled in this small town and started her shop. In her shop, she sold cola, candy, canned tuna, shampoo, soap, frozen popsicles, phone cards, and sandals. She looked young for her age but is very mature in her ways. She seemed confident in her situation and happy with life… all qualities I find attractive in a women. Our initial greeting turned into a lengthy debate on life, love and family… I like this lady.   

More to come tomorrow… Good night all!

Oh… btw, for the geeks on PH, I am using an usb dongle tethered to laptop for Internet access. I purchase the dongle for 50.00 US dollars in KM52. Please note that the dongle uses Lao’s Unitel Wireless Phone network and is extremely slow during the day. After 10:00 PM and before 6:00 AM, it is bearable. Otherwise, it is painfully slow!

[AOZ]

I agree.  I think you should include the girls you meet along the way in your writings more...and share with readers your feelings at the moment for each and everyone of them. 

Keep  readers glued to your journey/journal by adding a love story or stories.   

[LonelyHmgGuy]

LHG, I hope you find love in Laos. Perhaps, this is the very reason why it keeps on calling you back, as I have stated to you before that sometimes FATE bring two people on the opposite of the world as ONE. Good luck and I hope you are happy. 

TH or is it Sunrise? Is this you?

I am a hopeless romantic... but I know nothing can happen here, not in such a short time. It would be foolish to think otherwise. I am happy that I am here again, and for me that is enough right now.

LHG

PS - if you're Sunrise.... I still have hopes for us!

PPS - you have a block on my PMs... I can't reply.

[LonelyHmgGuy]

I agree.  I think you should include the girls you meet along the way in your writings more...and share with readers your feelings at the moment for each and everyone of them. 

Keep  readers glued to your journey/journal by adding a love story or stories.   

Hey AOZ,

It was not my intent to turn this blog into a search for my bride. I am sorry if I gave anyone that impression. Like I said earlier, it would be foolish of me to think that love can come in such a short time. I am just thankful for my time here and I am going to live every minute of it.

I will try my best to update my stories, but don't be disappointed if nothing romantic happens.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

May Vang, part 2

May grew up in a poor family she told me. She is the oldest child with 4 brothers and 1 sister behind her. While living in Phonsavan, her family grew rice for a living, but there was never rice enough to last the year. Out of desperation, her father started to sell opium and meth to support the family. But eventually he became addicted to the drugs he was selling, she explained. His addiction made him careless and he was caught selling drugs, her father is currently in jail.

A few of the girls that May grew up with ended up working at the “local bars” and “hotels” she told me. You can either work for 35,000 kip a day harvesting rice or earn 100,000 kip an hour working at the bars, she explain, which would you rather do? So, hoping to escape their fate, she got married at 16, she told me. Her husband became abusive after their first year of marriage, claiming she was unfaithful to him, also that she could not conceive a child. In her defense, she said it was not her fault. He also drank, gamble and was rarely home to help with household chores.

During her 5 years or so marriage to him, she ran back to her family many times, seeking help. However without her father and any support from her relatives, she was forced to return each time. Two years ago, her ex husband came home drunk and beat her, sending her to the hospital for 3 day. Her uncle in America took pity on her and returned her bride price to her ex-husband. That was 2 years ago, she said with sorrow and regret in her voice.

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking and laughing… May has a great sense of humor and a great outlook on life, a stark contrast to her upbringing. Adversity can do one of two things to us, it can make us very bitter and resentful or it can make us thankful and happy. Unfortunately, most of us will fall into the bitter category.

Today, my aunt is taking us to visit the limestone caves nearby… I will see if May wants to come.

Talk to you all soon… LHG

[boO]

Tuning in to read updates on may vang and LHG..

[LonelyHmgGuy]

May Vang Part 3,
We packed the whole family into the family car (“thseb liaj”), basically a converted plowing machine pulling a large cart and had long handle bars for steering. There were no breaks, only a clutch and the thing only had one speed.  We headed north for the Limestone Caves in the town of Phalueng (Hope this is the right spelling). It’s about an hours drive, a good pace for this hard working machine.

As soon as we got to the caves, May and I became separated from the rest of the group. We found a quite spot underneath some tall grass and lay down a blanket May had brought with her. She sat next to me with my arms firming around her waist. I reached over hoping to steal a kiss on the cheek, I could not wait any longer, the anticipation was killing me. I wanted to kiss her lips the very moment I saw her. To my surprise, she happen to look up at the same time and our lips locked in what seem like the most amazing kiss of my life… Heaven it seemed can exist on earth.

That sounded pretty good, didn’t it? But sorry to disappoint you AOZ and Boo, but what I just wrote did not happen. It was all in my mind… LOL.

May did come with come with us to visit the Caves in Phalueng, but we stayed as a group during the whole time. Occasionally, May would grab a hold of my hands and I would hold hers, but only because it was dark and slippery in some places. The caves themselves are very special, amazing to look at. Some paths were narrow and cramp, while other locations were open and wide with stalactites and stalagmites hanging all around. Definitely worth a look next time you’re in None Hai.

After an hour in the caves, we came back out and had a picnic under a shaded tree near the entrance. We had boiled chickens with rice in cold water. There were sour greens my aunt had made and a couple of bbq fish. We all ate, laughed and smiled happily… I thought to myself, why can’t I live here, maybe I was only fooling myself, but at  that moment, I felt like I truly belong.  It was grand.

Well, I am tired, so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. So, I will catch up with you all tomorrow morning. May and I have a date, we’re going shopping in None Hai.

[Gawmp]

LHG - I have travelled that road from KM52 to Non Hai, and I have to say...certain part of the road really is bumpy. My head would always be hitting the frame of the canopy, but it was memorable in the sense that all the bumping was what I remembered from the trip to Non Hai.

Have fun and holding May's hand in dark caves must be awesome 

[yoursunrise4ever]

TH or is it Sunrise? Is this you?

I am a hopeless romantic... but I know nothing can happen here, not in such a short time. It would be foolish to think otherwise. I am happy that I am here again, and for me that is enough right now.

LHG

PS - if you're Sunrise.... I still have hopes for us!

PPS - you have a block on my PMs... I can't reply.

I fixed now. You can write to me. Good night my sweet Lonely Hmong man.

[LonelyHmgGuy]

LHG - I have travelled that road from KM52 to Non Hai, and I have to say...certain part of the road really is bumpy. My head would always be hitting the frame of the canopy, but it was memorable in the sense that all the bumping was what I remembered from the trip to Non Hai.

Have fun and holding May's hand in dark caves must be awesome 

Gawmp... Yes, the ride from KM52 to None Hai is bumpy and very dusty this time of the year. Do you have relatives in None Hai?

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

This is one of my favorite songs by a band called Green Day from Berkley, California. The melodies is simple and the words are basic, yet its' message is genuine and timeless. I hope you like it as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnQ8N1KacJc

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,
I hope you had the time of your life.

As I lay in my bed this morning, looking at the holes in the ceiling of my aunt’s thatched house, I am reminded of something my physics professor once said… If we added up every grain of sand on earth, from every beach, from every ocean and sea, there would still be more stars in the sky.

If you stop to think about it for a minute, the universe does not revolve around us as much as we believe it may. Regardless of our view of ourselves and what problems we may be facing, everything pales in comparison when you consider how vast this universe really is. We are but a small piece of dust; a speck on a speck, times infinity. In reality, we don’t amount to a hill of beans in this world.

You can either be totally depressed after knowing this fact or it can free you and get you to think clearly about your life. The choice is yours… So here’s the conclusion I have reached for what it’s worth. I have only a very short time on a small, but beautiful planet. I have so many wonderful things at my disposal; people I that love, exotic places to visit, new things to learn every day, and incredible beauty all around me. Yes, sometimes shitty random things happen, and they interrupt my life. But I don’t want them to disrupt it any longer than they must. I want to savor and enjoy as much of life as I can. I don’t want to waste a minute worrying or thinking about problems. And I want to make this world a little bit better than I found it, before I leave. That’s all I know for sure and that’s what I intend to do. How about you?

May and I are heading to None Hai this morning… I borrowed my aunt’s scooter and we will be traveling alone. I feel like I am back in high school again and I am nervous as hell. I truly don’t remember the last time I took a girl out. Wish me luck.   

[yoursunrise4ever]

I am super happy for you. You will have a great time with your date!

[Gawmp]

Gawmp... Yes, the ride from KM52 to None Hai is bumpy and very dusty this time of the year. Do you have relatives in None Hai?

LHG

I actually do. Relatives from my mom's side of the family and from my wife's side. The majority of my immediate family is in Luang Prabang. On my next trip that is where I am heading.