Many "educated" people in the modern world view this practice as being sexist and morally wrong. Yes, it may be. But, there are many practices in the world that can be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. Furthermore, in order to comprehend such a ritual, people need to realize why and how it was created. Many other people of different ethnic groups are practicing it, and some are fine with it. It comes down to how you view the practice; and whether or not, it is applicable in the modern world.
The problem I see now is not whether it is a good or bad practice. It is not whether it is righteous or immoral and I do see that it may not be applicable anymore. But, the problem lies in the fact that "sexist" people (especially the educators and scholars and the unlearned) do not know what the bride price is and why we practice it.
To fully understand this practice, a typical person must know the tradition matrimonial songs, along with the meaning of the songs. People cannot simply go against something that they do not understand. Buying a piece of item from your local store is totally different from how Mong practice a traditional wedding. "Can you lower the price if I buy 5 of them" is your typical "buying" strategy from your local Swap Meet. Comparing to a wedding, the words are used differently and they do not necessarily mean what they say.
Keep in mind that Mong have always remain in large group--whether it is a family, village, city, county, or province--the more the better. Taking this to the next level, Mong also interconnect themselves with other qhua and xeem in large group--again, the more the better. Unity on both spouses' side of the family is a must; and sometimes, this include "remarrying again and again to the same family." General Vang Pao practiced it perfectly, tying all the major clans together. And, I am sure Vang Pao also gave a few sisters away too--to strengthen both families furthermore.
Going back to the topic of this post, what is a bride price? Also, let it be known that this word is not correct, because it is not a bride price at all. The term is nqi mig nqe no. Again, what it is (this term is also called "Nqi paj nqi txiv, nqi tub nqi ntxhais, etc..).
NQE MIG NQE NO = the bulls/cows/buffaloes given to the parents of the bride in EXCHANGE for the bride and NYUJ PHIJ TSAB NEEG PHIJ CUAM
Nyuj phij tsab neeg phij cuam = cows/bulls/oxens/pigs etc...and MOST IMPORTANTLY KINSHIP.
Nyuj phij tsab neeg phij cuam begins with Chiyou (Txiv Yawg, also mentioned in matrimonial songs)--but that's another topic talk about.
It is not what you think folks. The bride price is an "exchanging" ritual of people, respect, and animals to strengthen both sides of the families. Furthermore, the exchanged items also includes "spoons, chickens, salt, oil, knife, etc." Many people (even the Master Mejkoob of present day) do not know that the "arrow" used during exchanging is the same arrow that we used during a funeral (I know...not anymore). In China, the wife could be apart from her birth family for years due to marriage--and people get old, but the arrow can easily be remembered and recongized by the maker (the father, usually). In essence, Mong do not sell their daughters--it is an exchange of people along with properties until DEATH DUE THEM APART for both spouses and both sides of the family, and for the sole purpose of strengthening both families.
So folks, if you must ridicule the practice, please do it correctly and blame it on unity, swapping of family members for strength, and the exchange of forever united families through life and death.
Topic: Clearing up the bride price issue that so many do not understand (Read 5526 times)