Being invited to a Hmong party

[YAX]

So, let's say, your very close cousin, like first cousin sees you but didn't mention anything to you about a party.  Then, a few days later, you hear it from your sister (not brother) that your first cousin's throwing a Hmong party and everyone's invited and asks if you're going.  You say, he didn't mention anything about it to you, but your sister says "We're family, you don't need to be invited, everyone's invited".  Do you still go because you heard about it or say no because you weren't invited?

If you don't go, people will ask, why you  weren't there.  You can't say you didn't hear about it because your sister already told you.  What's the best thing to do?

[Dok_Champa]

Family will stay family regardless if you go or not BUT to keep the peace and love, just go and forget about "yuav cai" etc... 

[blia]

Maybe they just forgot to mention it to you because there were other things going on and it may have just slipped their mind. Are you a sexist? because you mentioned hearing it from your sister and not your brother, why does it matter? Your sister is right, you're family so why do you need a formal personal verbal invite from the party thrower? Are you a king ?  Do you need them to come beg you to attend the party? If no, then why would you decline the invitation?

[YAX]

Maybe they just forgot to mention it to you because there were other things going on and it may have just slipped their mind. Are you a sexist? because you mentioned hearing it from your sister and not your brother, why does it matter? Your sister is right, you're family so why do you need a formal personal verbal invite from the party thrower? Are you a king ?  Do you need them to come beg you to attend the party? If no, then why would you decline the invitation?

In Hmong culture, if the sister is married, she's officially a part of her husband's family so an invite from her is different than an invite from your brother.  Has nothing to do with being sexist.  Just respecting culture.  Also, what if he didn't want you to go and your sister didn't get it?

[YAX]

Family is family. If we're close of course I go if I can.

I mean, close as in closely related, not so much like hanging out together a lot and doing things together.

[Gucci K]

LOL...Yax stop being sexy and just go...ain't nobody got time for you to put on a thick face make-up! ha!

check your FACEbook, missed call logs, Pebhmong accounts and/or Evites!  OH wait, your invitation is in snail mail, it's still coming! ha!

[blia]

In Hmong culture, if the sister is married, she's officially a part of her husband's family so an invite from her is different than an invite from your brother.  Has nothing to do with being sexist.  Just respecting culture.  Also, what if he didn't want you to go and your sister didn't get it?

You would know your people best so if you feel like you didn't get a personal invite from the party thrower just ask. A lot of the times it's just a miscommunicati on or lack of. Oh well, more food for everyone else then.

[Yebleng]

Depnds on the party. If it's a old traditional Hmong party, I'm going because they like to drink. If its church party, I'm not going because they don't drink . I had 2 weddings to go to over the weekend. I went to none

[YAX]

You would know your people best so if you feel like you didn't get a personal invite from the party thrower just ask. A lot of the times it's just a miscommunicati on or lack of. Oh well, more food for everyone else then.

Sorry for implying that I wasn't going. LOL. I was just wondering what others would do.

[ProudLao]

My philosophy, no invite no show.

[theking]

So, let's say, your very close cousin, like first cousin sees you but didn't mention anything to you about a party.  Then, a few days later, you hear it from your sister (not brother) that your first cousin's throwing a Hmong party and everyone's invited and asks if you're going.  You say, he didn't mention anything about it to you, but your sister says "We're family, you don't need to be invited, everyone's invited".  Do you still go because you heard about it or say no because you weren't invited?

If you don't go, people will ask, why you  weren't there.  You can't say you didn't hear about it because your sister already told you.  What's the best thing to do?

Depends on....the individual but I have no problems going...since I'm invited regardless of who..

[lilly]

Depnds on the party. If it's a old traditional Hmong party, I'm going because they like to drink. If its church party, I'm not going because they don't drink . I had 2 weddings to go to over the weekend. I went to none

Hilarious!   

[lilly]

My philosophy, no invite no show.

My philosophy too.   

[DuMa]

These events are a one time shot so best to attend and at peace than rather not go and have them remember you for not appreciating them just because of your Hmong ego about the no invite no go clause. 

Sometimes, it is best to just go to get things out of the way, even if you don't want to be there. 

Like my friend at WK.  Cool guy but does not attend any of our companies function.  Guess who will be the first to be let go when the time comes?  Yep, the boss will never forget your extra effort to your work. 

If you can bare the regret of not attending a family's wedding then don't go.  Like killing someone, you have the rest of your life to eat it cuz guilt will eat you alive. 

In these types of a party, you can't say " next time" when you can't make it the first time. 

[theking]

Sadly there are still those that have the mindset of, "I'm the head of the household so if they don't invite me directly, I'm not going ...and I will not allow my family members to go either"...