Member my friend I post about being the youngest son so he takes care of his mom

[theking]

...Well, his mom just passed away recently and of course, his older siblings that hardly ever visit nor call their mom pretended to cry their hearts out because they didn't want to be judge badly by the Hmong community...du ring the funeral...

[theking]

And yes, like in the past, they had the gall to ask him to chip in for funeral cost even though he was the sole caretaker of his mom...just because they want to show off to the Hmong community...by throwing an expensive funeral..

[theking]

Here's a back story of my friend's family history:

His older siblings told him that he has to take care of their mom because he's the youngest son according to the Hmong culture. He's fine with that as his mom took care of him and raised him. What he's not fine with is his older siblings lack of contact with their mom i.e., no visit, no phone call....

His mom would complain to him about how his older siblings don't care about her but he can't do anything about it as they are older so they should know better. His mom also complained to her Hmong friends about how much that breaks her heart as those older siblings are within driving distance to visit but hardly ever do.

But when it comes time for a big family event for their mom, they'll try to show off to other Hmong folks about how much they care and love their mom by throwing a big expensive party. Although the older siblings hardly ever visit or call their mom, when it's time to show off, they demand that my friend should help out too financially even though he has the least amount of money and resources. Plus, those big show off family events are not his idea and other Hmong folks that know the family already know my friend does all the caretaking.

The reason my friend has the least amount of money is because he had to put a lot of things aside i.e., education, turning down good paying jobs due to conflict with providing care for his mom, etc., so he can take care of his mom. He's never been married because taking care of his mom was his primary focus. He felt it was the right thing to return the favor since his mom took good care of him and raised him when he needed her.

His older siblings hear the complains from other Hmong folks but they still hardly ever spend time with their mom whether in person or on the phone. It bothers my friend when his older siblings come up with these big expensive family event ideas just to save their faces and still have the gall to ask him to pitch in. I can't say I blame him as he's already done more for his mom than all of his siblings combined over the years.

[theking]

Yeah, "fake crying" is pretty bad especially at funerals and for your own mother. Now if your parent neglected and abused you throughout your life and you don't want to attend or pay respect to him/her, that's fine IMO. However, my friend's mom took care and raised him and all of his siblings well.

My friend's mom has also used pretty much all of her financial resources to support the older siblings' needs and wants i.e., cars, education, bride-price, etc. Which is why she didn't have much left to help my friend, her youngest child. However, that didn't bother my friend as he knew his mom still took care of him, and loved him to the best of her ability...

[NtsesHnub]

Similar situation with my grandma that passed away.  Her grandchildren, my cousins, didn't even come see her when they live in the same city.  Grandma stayed with us for 20+ years and not once they came on their own unless we had a gathering at our house or someone's house.  My sister that lives out of state has seen her more than the ones in state.  That's just wrong.  There was always someone with grandma to look after her, mostly me after 4pm since my parents work 2nd and I 1st.  I would wait for her to go to bed then leave to go out.  After her passing, all my cousins be posting on fakebook about how much they love and miss her.  I made my peace when she passed.  I did what I could, probably more but I'm sure we all feel that we could of done for the one's that passed.  Note, I'm the 3rd oldest grandson and spent the most time with her.  I know what she likes to eat and all her habits.  After we laid her rest, the next day I bought my plot next to her.  She rests next to another Hmong lady and I'll rest next to my grandma's left.  I didn't feel right with her being alone with someone she don't know. 

[walley]

I once went to a funeral of an inlaw that I didn't really know. I was told to fake cry and I replied that I didn't know how to fake cry. I was told to go ask uncle so and so to cry for me. He was able to fake cry for me. 

[theking]

Yep, you'll be a lying idiot for life if you follow THAT GUY's compulsive lying advice with "fake cry" and all.. :

Just lied, dude

[theking]

Similar situation with my grandma that passed away.  Her grandchildren, my cousins, didn't even come see her when they live in the same city.  Grandma stayed with us for 20+ years and not once they came on their own unless we had a gathering at our house or someone's house.  My sister that lives out of state has seen her more than the ones in state.  That's just wrong.  There was always someone with grandma to look after her, mostly me after 4pm since my parents work 2nd and I 1st.  I would wait for her to go to bed then leave to go out.  After her passing, all my cousins be posting on fakebook about how much they love and miss her.  I made my peace when she passed.  I did what I could, probably more but I'm sure we all feel that we could of done for the one's that passed.  Note, I'm the 3rd oldest grandson and spent the most time with her.  I know what she likes to eat and all her habits.  After we laid her rest, the next day I bought my plot next to her.  She rests next to another Hmong lady and I'll rest next to my grandma's left.  I didn't feel right with her being alone with someone she don't know.

Nice story and thanks for the share! 

Like I've said, if your parents and/or grandparents took care of you when needed, it's only right to return the favor..

[Hung_Low]

...Well, his mom just passed away recently and of course, his older siblings that hardly ever visit nor call their mom pretended to cry their hearts out because they didn't want to be judge badly by the Hmong community...du ring the funeral...

That's how Hmong people are... they always cried at the dead's casket and pour out their "fake" love toward the dead.
I bet those siblings just want a piece of the nyiaj tshav ntuj (sunshine money). They are the ones that demand a full count of all the money received. When my dad passed, we gave all the money to my mom. Since my brother was the one paying for his insurance, he got all the insurance money. NO one complained or cried about it...