Have you tried this and did it work for you when dealing with Hmong time

[theking]

 ....folks?  :

My friends are notoriously late so I lied to them about our plans. Now, we're not speaking.

"This past weekend, my friends and I went out to a club for a friend's birthday. But what was supposed to be a fun night ended up being miserable.

Three of our friends who were in attendance are notorious for being late. In the past, they've turned up an hour late for a surprise birthday, an hour late for my birthday and even three hours late for a dinner party. (And this is just in the past year!)

Ahead of our recent night out, I didn't want them to be late, so I lied and told the three of them to meet us at the club at 9 p.m. though our booking was for 10 p.m. What I didn't know is they had all agreed to prove they could show up on time by getting to the bar 30 minutes ahead of schedule. They waited an hour and a half for the rest of us to arrive, and when we did two of them refused to talk to us the entire night and the other friend spent the evening being passive aggressive. Their attitude ruined the whole night and made a celebration feel drab and down.

I was only trying to make sure they would arrive on time, but neither side has talked to the other since. Who is in the wrong and who should apologize?"

Answer: I have a few female friends that think being late is a cute personality trait, so I completely get your frustration in this situation. It has caused issues in my friend group as well.

Since I have my own experiences with this, I wanted to get an additional perspective here. So I asked one of my podcast co-hosts, Justin Thunstrom, to weigh in. Justin, what are your thoughts?

"I feel like we’ve all had people in our lives that are notoriously late, and it can be very frustrating. Some of these people are so consistently late that you can almost predict the exact time they will show up. I think lateness is forgivable when it's once in a while because we're all human. But when being late becomes the norm, especially for a surprise party, then it becomes inconsiderate and rude.

I would have done the exact same thing that you did in this scenario, and, in fact, I have done something similar in the past. It’s interesting that they all agreed to actually be early this time. Maybe that's just karma. The annoyance they experienced that night is no different than how you’ve felt when they have been late. The fact that they allowed their feelings to ruin the night is unfortunate, but maybe it will help them realize the importance of being on time especially for special occasions.

I think you can turn this situation into a bigger conversation that can strengthen your friendship. Plan to be the bigger person and reach out to ask them to get together to have a talk. Explain to how their repeated tardiness has made you feel and compare it to the frustrations they experienced at your friend’s birthday. The sit-down will hopefully enable them to realize the importance of punctuality and move past this drama. In order for a friendship to thrive, all parties have to treat each other with respect. I think this moment and how you handle it is a good opportunity to set the tone for the future of your friendship.

All the best, Morgan and Justin

[Hung_Low]

Serves them right... I hate people that are late too.

[ProudLao]

I absolutely dislike Hmong time.

[theking]

Yep, gotta respect others' time as you want them to respect yours...

The worst Hmong time ones are the ones that showed up late and complained that the good food is all gone...