My wife and I still have photos of our EXs so this is a real RED FLAG

[theking]

...if your spouse goes all nutty over things like photos  . Time to call off the wedding because it's just going to get worst when there's no trust and faith in a relationship. Again, photos of EXs is no big deal because it's just past memories, what matter most is are there any trust and faith in the current relationship:

Woman Destroys Her Fiancé's Late Wife's Photos & Belongings Out Of Jealousy — 'I Wanted Everything Gone'

The items were the only memories that the children had left of their deceased mother, but the woman was tired of competing with her.

A woman shocked the internet after she revealed what she had done with her fiancé’s late wife’s belongings.

She claims that her actions were the result of a jealous rage, fearing that she would never compare to her fiancé’s first love. However, many people were horrified by the woman’s confession and advised that she seek professional help.

The jealous woman admitted to throwing out all of her fiancé’s late wife’s possessions.
Sharing her story to the subreddit, r/TrueOffMyChest, the 26-year-old woman revealed that she has been with her fiancé, Ale, for two years. She has known him since high school, although at that time he was dating his now late wife, Lorraine, whom he had been together with since middle school.

“I always kinda had feelings for Ale, even when I was in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend from high school,” the woman admitted. Years later, Ale wound up marrying Lorraine when they were 18 and 19 years old.

The couple had two children, a son named Basil, who is now eight, and a daughter named Biridie, who is now three. Sadly, Lorraine passed away during the birth of their second child.

The woman who would soon be her fiancé's wife shared that she “comforted” Ale while he was grieving his late wife.
“After a year of her passing, we got into a relationship,” she wrote. “He’s the best partner I can ever ask for and we are getting married in the summer of July.”

She also shared that she loves Ale’s children as her own. However, his oldest son Basil is still coping with the loss of his mother. “Basil does have a picture of Ale and him and Lorraine when she was five months pregnant with Birdie. He does not have a picture of us together as a family,” the woman wrote. “He still misses his mom.”

She confessed that she has always been “a little jealous” of Lorraine, especially in high school when she was dating Ale. Although now that she is marrying Ale, the jealousy has gotten worse.

“Sometimes I wish I was the birth mother of Basil and Birdie. I wished I had his kids first,” she admitted, especially now that Ale has undergone a vasectomy and cannot have any more biological children. “He told me he only wanted Lorraine to have his kids,” the woman added.

The woman shares that she feels insecure about how Ale’s close friends feel toward her since they all knew and loved Lorraine. “All of Ale’s friends knew Lorraine In and out since they all knew each other in middle school and had the same old friend group growing up altogether,” she wrote. “They all talk about Lorraine from time to time.”

She recently discovered Lorraine’s possessions in the attic that Ale chose to hold on to after her death, which included photos of Ale and Lorraine together, gifts that the couple had given one another, Lorraine’s old collection of antique horses, and vintage items.

“Ale was keeping this for his kids to give when they were older to treasure their mother's stuff,” the woman explained. “I got jealous as Ale was planning on giving this stuff of Lorraine’s horse collection and gifts to Birdie. Ale has already given Birdie Lorraine’s old stuffed zebra when she was a young child and given Basil an old knife that belonged to Lorraine’s grandfather.”

Due to her jealousy and insecurity, the woman confessed that she wanted all of Lorraine’s things “gone.”
While Ale took the children to their grandparents’ house for a few days, the woman ventured into the attic and reveals what she did with Lorraine’s belongings.

“I burned all the photos threw her antique collection away and destroyed some. I cut open all the stuffed toys of Lorraine’s and the letters she wrote and destroyed every single thing of hers,” she wrote. “I felt satisfied knowing she won’t be a bother and nothing to be jealous of anymore. I felt happy and not remorseful.”

When Ale and the children returned home, the woman acted as if nothing happened. However, it didn’t take long for them to notice that Lorraine’s things were missing after Basil noticed that the photo of him and his mother was gone.

“Ale searched through the attic to pack stuff and noticed that only Lorraine’s stuff was all gone,” the woman wrote. “He searched frantically for it.”

While Ale was aware of his soon-to-be new wife’s insecurity about Lorraine and asked her if she had anything to do with the missing stuff, she told him that she would never do such a thing. He believed her.

“Even to this day he still doesn’t know,” the woman wrote. Lorraine’s family and children were devastated by the loss of her belongings, even after the woman attempted to replace a few of them with new ones.

As of today, the woman has only disclosed her secret to a couple of her friends who do not know Ale very well.  “I don’t think I can ever tell Ale or anyone this,” she wrote. “But feels good to take it off my chest.”

While the woman may be content with her actions, Redditors were concerned and angered by them.
Many Redditors encouraged the woman to seek therapy for her insecurity and jealousy and were disgusted that she would even do such a thing.

“What you did is extremely cruel and traitorous. You will need to live with the fact that your future husband and stepchildren will never look at you in the same light if this ever comes out,” one user commented. “Destroying irreplaceable items like pictures and letters to try to erase memories of the wife/ mother so making replacing her easier is a time bomb you will be living with.”

“You should try seeing a therapist. Things could get a lot worse than this. I recommend going to therapy with your husband about your insecurities in the relationship,” another user recommended.

Others believed that the woman did not love her soon-to-be husband and his children properly, pointing out that if she did, she could never bring herself to destroy Lorraine’s last remaining items.

Others warned her that the truth always reveals itself eventually and that she should tell her fiancé so he can decide for himself if he still wants to marry her.

While jealousy and insecurity can arise in relationships when exes are brought up, it is no doubt that the woman’s actions crossed a line. The photos, gifts, and antiques were the only significant items left that her fiancé and his children could remember their dead wife and mother by, and were in no way, had to be competed with.

[Believe_N_Me]

Sounds like the girlfriend of a someone that I know 

This is why you don't date a family friend whom you've had a crush on even during your own marriage. You know too much about their dating history and then you can't handle it. Plus, they only get with you because of trauma bonding.

While I disagree with her actions, I sense that her insecurities were not baseless. Two insecure people who got together out of convenience so they could share their their trauma. Bad idea.

[Reporter]

I met a girl a long time ago. I learned that she kept
breaking up with her then-husbands one after another.

I saw her photo album. She kept her exs' photos in it.

It's not just photos that present issues in the current relationship.
Reciting fond memories of the exs cause issues, too. Imagine telling
your new lover "she was so good at this and you aren't comparable;  he
was great in treating me and you aren't anything like him..."

[Believe_N_Me]

At the end of the day, it only matters how much love you show your current partner and the effort that you're putting into the relationship. If you aren't doing those two things then everything about you, including your exes, will start to bother the new person whether you bring it up or not. They will start noticing your lack of effort and affection compared to your last relationship.

For example, the reason those mos ab don't appear jealous about the current wife is because the husband spoils them. We're talking about men who aren't even divorced from their wives! These mos ab should be enraged. Same reason why some women have the audacity to be a second wife/niam yau. They have the husband's attention so it doesn't bother them too much if the first wife still lingers.

As for me, I've come to conclude that many men are full of bs. In the beginning when they pursue you, they want to convince you that they're all that. They will tell you how much they did for the ex(es) who didn't appreciate it. Then when they finally convince you to give them a chance, you notice they don't do nearly half of the things they claimed to have done for the ex(es). There are two ways to look at this:

1) feel super jealous
2) realize that he was lying through his teeth.

If you give it enough time, the reason is always the latter.