I have not heard about this ritual... is it true?

[Hung_Low]

I was told that the groom and his party need a basket (lub kawm) and it has to be filled with a jar of oil, a knife, silverware and bag of rice when they go and have the negotiation with the bride family for her hands in marriage. Is that true? Is that only in Green Hmong or White Hmong too?

And what does Thoob Xu mean?

[hmgROCK]

I DID LOTS OF WEDDING BUTCHERING

I think you are talking about the messenger part of the wedding process
Once the guy bring her home
He sent the messenger to tell the parent
Not to worry about their daughter
And that she is well and safe

The messenger will present gift: 
Usually it just cigarettes and money these days
you can bring other stuff but those are fine

When my sister got married
We smoke sooo much cigarette

 

[hmgROCK]

negotiation with the bride family for her hands in marriage.

I’m a bit confused by your question
You don’t actually “ask the parent for her hand in marriage”
I mean you could do that
If you want their blessing first

BUT

You just bring the girl home
And make sure your parent knows
So they can rooster over your head….


The hmong carry basket is part of the wedding process
When the groom and bride goes to her mother side for the wedding
They will pack food, blankets and the items above.

[hmgROCK]

Let me know if you have any questions
I’m old but im still learning
Hmong culture is always learning new stuff everyday

Like FOR EXAMPLE

no eating pepper at wedding=hot marriage=trouble

 

[hmgROCK]

There’s also a part where after 3 days and you hu plig tie string
You would gather your people (mej koob, green lady, and etc…)
Take the wife to go see her family and talk about the wedding planning and date

Sometimes the wife family will ask for money to help with the wedding etc…

THIS IS NOT THE WEDDING
THIS IS JUST WEDDING PLANNING

And make them see
That their daughter hasn’t been killed or kidnap
Bit alive