If a ring and/or a piece of paper is not important, don't do it! I know someone

[theking]

..that has been with her partner for over 30 years now. They have kids, live together like a family, sent their kids to college, etc., but have never married because they had no desire to. They feel like a ring or a piece of paper is just a waste of their time and money because that won't change their level of commitment to each other. If they are content with their lives and the way they are living, I say don't mess with it...as marriage is not a requirement in life :

Why Vanna White Hasn't Wed Her Boyfriend of 12 Years John Donaldson: 'I Feel Like We Are Married'

During an October interview with People, White spoke about her relationship and said they're doing just fine being boyfriend and girlfriend. “I mean, we've been together 12 years, and I feel like we are married,” White said. “Do we have to get married? No, because we feel comfortable in our relationship.

[Visualmon]

Sooner or later these couples suffer ongoing depression and schizophrenia after breaking the vows. Demons are coming after the couples anytime. Satan have found himself slaves.

[Believe_N_Me]

I don't believe it. They probably didn't get married because they didn't want the other one to have access to the assets that they accrued before they got together. Prenups do not always stop an ex-spouse from taking half of everything you worked hard for. A marriage license entitles you to assets and the courts will honor that.

[JonniJacko]

Oh man, I was just having a conversation about this with a close co-worker. He asked me what my view is because my wife or should I say life partner are not married by paper..we both didn't care for a super wedding where most of the guests are people we only talk to once or twice every once or two years...lols. a ring that doesn't look any much better than a ring pop and will eventually either get lost or pawn off for 5% of its value..lols and photos that will eventually end up in the trash after we die...lols what we do and will value however are the memories, and the many more memories along our journey together. So I told the co-worker, any woman expecting a expensive wedding, ring, or photos, run far away from her..lols j/k

I said, either you love her or you don't, and vice versa. don't let a 10k wedding, 20k ring, and 5k photos take away something much more valuable..

if my partner wanted those things, I would had coughed up the funds..but she insist she don't care and rather me not unless I wanted to..so I told her what I said earlier..our rings will probably end up in the ocean floor someday, or one of our great great great grandchildren will pawn it off, lols...and our photos will end up burning in someone's campfire long after we pass..lols so she was like now you're thinking...ins tead she just wants to move in rent free for a year, buy her a car, and make love to her every now and then...lols j.k...

I know she has a house somewhere back east, and some investment..we both agree its okay to keep them ourselves..we both don't believe in 2 becomes 1 in marriage. we believe in meeting halfway. we still fight over bills and stuffs..like fighting to pay for it..lols so that's why we set up a joint account..lols

[JonniJacko]

I don't believe it. They probably didn't get married because they didn't want the other one to have access to the assets that they accrued before they got together. Prenups do not always stop an ex-spouse from taking half of everything you worked hard for. A marriage license entitles you to assets and the courts will honor that.

It's not wrong though, if both partners agree to not having access or sharing assets. it wouldn't be right for one or both to take something that was never rightfully theirs to begin with should a marriage not work out..haha if children is involve though, that is a little tricky..both partners will have to meet halfway, otherwise someone is gonna have to loose full custody..haha

[JonniJacko]

this remind me, we both haven't discuss about our wills...lols.. so far I don't have her listed in any of my beneficiaries. .and I doubt she has me in any of her..i guess its better not to bring it up..unless we accidentally have children some day..lols

[theking]

Again, a piece of paper and/or a ring is not required to have a healthy and successful relationship and/or family.

Plenty of folks have proven that.

It really comes down to the individuals and how they make of it.

[Believe_N_Me]

It's not wrong though, if both partners agree to not having access or sharing assets. it wouldn't be right for one or both to take something that was never rightfully theirs to begin with should a marriage not work out..haha if children is involve though, that is a little tricky..both partners will have to meet halfway, otherwise someone is gonna have to loose full custody..haha

That is probably why they did not get legally married. They are nothing more than friends with benefits. The only problem with cohabitation is that you experience all the disadvantages of a rocky marriage without all the benefits of a healthy marriage. It is not as easy come, easy go as some people were misled to believe. When a breakup happens it is still very difficult to pack up and leave, especially if you don't exactly have anywhere to go.

[JonniJacko]

That is probably why they did not get legally married. They are nothing more than friends with benefits. The only problem with cohabitation is that you experience all the disadvantages of a rocky marriage without all the benefits of a healthy marriage. It is not as easy come, easy go as some people were misled to believe. When a breakup happens it is still very difficult to pack up and leave, especially if you don't exactly have anywhere to go.

its different for everyone, i mean every couple, married or not, in a way, essentially is friends with benefits to some degree..lols a official marriage license only means its friends with extra benefits with the wife usually have the upper hand if shits hits the ceiling..lols so to me, I think it comes down to a couple's unique situation. if someone's willing and comfortable discussing the most sensitive, darkest and deepest subjects, then you know, that's what really defines trust between two people..if they share the same thoughts then it's a match made in paradise..haha a piece of paper to some married couples is pretty much a cheat sheet..it prevents them from discussing sensitive stuffs...and they just hope shits never hit the ceilings..but if it does...I don't even wanna see it or hear it on the news..the statistics has long skyrocketed through the roofs...it's almost a norm...so nothing wrong with friends with benefits as long as both agree to it...lols

[Believe_N_Me]

Nah...I don't know any woman who didn't feel used and abused after a long-term cohabitation situation ended. Unless she was a straight-up gold-digger. Men and women are wired differently when it comes to emotions.

Honestly, if a woman doesn't want to be legally or culturally married, it's because she doesn't want him to have access to something. What that is, only she knows. Women, unless a gold-digger (this would include sugar babies), do not get into these long-term, cohabitation, playing house situationships without expecting it to result in marriage. Even after awhile when she knows that he is no good, she will still want marriage because she has already invested too much and feels like a fool if it doesn't happen.

[Believe_N_Me]

I want to add that some women become very possessive and anxious once married. The ones with enough sense will not want to get married and perhaps that is why they're okay with just long-term bf/gf status. Diane Keaton once said that although she desires to be in a relationship, she doesn't like how she becomes. For some reason, she starts to feel very anxious, insecure, and so on. This may also be the reason why some men have commitment-phobia. They take it very seriously, almost too seriously, that is why they fear it. They're afraid of being stuck to one person that isn't very compatible. They're afraid of taking things too serious that they become possessive, anxious, insecure, and always overbearing on the other person, etc. 

[JonniJacko]

totally get the point. Trust is a big deal. I don't know they psychology behind why most women wants a man to prove his committment and love by signing a paper. I say if most men can bypass a wedding, marriage license, and prenups or whatever, most men would..But again, its like most women seem to want that special day, not because it's one of the most special day of her life, but I assume it gives her a sense of security that her man is serious serious about it...It doesn't guarantee anything, in fact it's probably her who does the betraying...ha ha

as long as two person are happy together, have trust and confidence, they talk about and agree on things that can either make or break the relationship, and more importantly, if they want to leave some day, there won't be any holding back...it sucks, but it's the reality...it doesn't matter how much time or energy you invested in someone...in reality, nobody belongs to nobody and if some day for whatever reason they have a change of heart, you just gotta let em go..for better or for worse...haha I think if two people accept and understand this, their relationship will reach the finish line..haha

[theking]

It's been years but my stance hasn't change. My wife and I lived together for 3 years before marrying and a piece of paper and rings didn't change our love, dedication and loyalty to each other. Plenty of cases of folks co-habiting and having a successful relationship for decades including raising kids appropriately, putting them through college, and becoming productive members of society, etc., like the folks I know. Therefore, it comes down to the individuals and depends on how they make of it (married or not):

Yep, as I've said, a big expensive wedding reception, a greedy bride price, a big wedding ring, an expensive wedding dress, a piece of paper, etc., don't do much in terms of happiness. That still mainly depends on the couple...

[JonniJacko]

This guy even went further. He say even if two people live in different side of world.. haha well. I dunno bout that. Women gotta get laid too. Lols

https://youtu.be/3Ly5X-OdHH0?si=3Ha5GV8YUvsowpdS