Here watching more videos about discard and breakup with a narc/avoidant.
I get the impression that the main reason people struggle to heal from these relationships is because the narc/ (DA/FA) avoidant manipulated them into ignoring their boundaries and now these people feel used after they're blindsided.
Avoidants don't even make sense when they discard a person. They always claim that the person had toxic tendencies yet continued to play house with them. I also refuse to believe that they didn't see the toxic behaviors from the beginning. If the person didn't have toxic behavior then the avoidant will make up a bs excuse that the timing just wasn't right. Um...that isn't a good reason to ghost someone whom you've been getting along really well with, told them that you love them, and even asked to take the relationship to the next level.
Let's just call it what it is. Avoidants are players just like narcs. They're just better at the game because they come off like such a nice person in the beginning. The sooner you accept that both have a behavior disorder, the sooner you can heal. Love them from afar but why would you want to burden yourself with someone's disorder that makes them a nasty person? These people aren't going to get you to where you want to be in life (and I don't even mean physically but mentally as well).
