Were all your exes toxic? You might be a severe avoidant attachment style

[Believe_N_Me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5_1vHpQVQ0&list=PLTi6COY1KUltvVzi4Q2aUA8rnGn2wTjyP&index=14

Since severely avoidant attachment people are emotionally unavailable, they are more comfortable with those who have the same attachment disorder because there is no fear of getting attached. They commit to toxic partners while driving away healthy ones because they feel safe from developing true feelings.

Severely avoidants developed the disorder at an early age. They either had neglectful parents, or a volatile home environment. They learned early on not to get too attached because the loss is too painful.

Therefore, even though they desire a healthy relationship, they often end up not choosing a safe partner and revert back to what is familiar.

[Believe_N_Me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilAf69TdKo4&list=PLTi6COY1KUltvVzi4Q2aUA8rnGn2wTjyP&index=13

Severely avoidants often have exes that won't go away, particular exes that are toxic. This makes it easier for the avoidant to get needs met, should they relapse, while ensuring that strong feelings do not develop. Remember, avoidants desire and crave for a deep and meaningful connection while also fearing it. They will commit to toxic partners who can provide what seems like a connection without the real feelings.

[Believe_N_Me]

Severely avoidant people tend to miss their toxic exes more while forgetting about a relationships they had with a healthy ex. This is because toxic relationships create highs and lows, which stimulates the severely avoidant person. Whereas a healthy relationship creates less stimulation. Therefore, when a severely avoidant person is feeling disgust about a low moment with a toxic ex, they will also feel nostalgia about a high moment with that same ex.

This is why severely avoidant people are more likely to rekindle a relationship with a toxic ex than they are with a healthy ex.

In addition, a toxic ex is also more likely to prolong the drama so they are willing to rekindle a relationship. Whereas a healthy ex recognizes that the relationship was not good for them and will have moved on to a new relationship that is stable and healthy.