I was just thinking about when my father passes away, if I would keep in touch with my step-mother and half-siblings?
My relationship with my step-mother is pretty much non-existent. Even though she's been in my life since I was barely 10, I don't feel any bond with her at all. She's always been distant and have never tried to get to know me. Hell, we had our first real conversation when I turned 20. Before that moment our interactions consisted of "food is ready" and "come and eat".
For much of my life I viewed her as a maid. Someone who cooked and cleaned our house, and slept with my dad and bore children. lol. She was only a couple years older than my oldest sister and she had no idea what she was doing in terms of raising children. She was still a child herself (19) when she married my father and came to the United States. I pretty much raised myself and the siblings.
I've spent the majority of my adult life trying to fix the broken pieces of my youth and I'm now at peace with my past. There's really nothing holding me back now. I've been preparing to relocate to a different part of the world seeking adventure and travel; something I really desire. I can't wait to press forward into the future even if that means leaving a lot of people from my past behind and never seeing them again.
Thanks for sharing a lil part of ur story (w/ us).
I totally can relate to you. Though my mom is still alive (and living with me) my parents divorced a few years ago (my dad has always been and had an affair) and eventually left us for his new wife. It was very difficult for all of us (I talk about it a lot on my blurb in here) and though we're still processing things years later and "moving on" we have no relationship with my step-mom (it's hard just calling her that). My dad moved away to CA about a yr after he moved out (they lived on the other side of town after he left) which made it ez to "forget" and avoid them and dealing with our feelings. When they visit (since all his family lives here still) it's still very hard and painful. Regardless, my dad is getting older and his health isn't good as it used to be. I know if that day was and does come...maintai
ning a relationship w step-mom will be questionable. Unlike you, I've only known of her no more than 4 years.
Despite that, having lived abroad for a while (I studied abroad for a semester) I can honestly say I wouldn't mind picking up and leaving. I've thought about it several times. I was really thinking about joining the Peace Corps when I returned from abroad (and finished up my last semester of school). However, things didn't work out that way. I can testify that I was a happier person when I was abroad. No stress from family and friends and though I was taking classes it wasn't the same stress here in the states. My sense of time was more relaxed, heck, I was more relaxed. I felt free and I could not only feel my body getting healthier (I walked a lot which was nice) but I literally felt like my grey clouds parted above me and the 16 ton backpack of crap I was carrying on my back was lifted. I had a skip to my step and even my new found friends commented that I was a "fun" person who laughed a lot (many of the students told me that knew my laugh before they knew me). LOL I guess.
Granted, I was homesick after the first month....no one who knew me while I was in a new world...no one who spoke my language (both Hmong and many times English as well)--you can only imagine the frustrations. However, I had the time of my life! Yes, I escaped daily troubles I had at home but I would never give up or trade those 5 months of genuine happiness for anything.
No matter where you go, I'm sure you'll enjoy it and will have a great experience. Definitely go and discover the world and who you can truly be. There's not a day that I miss that person I lost when I came back to my cloudy stress-filled days here in the States. I have been thinking about going back or picking up and leaving again but now that I'm older and have responsibiliti
es (no s/o or family of my own, but I have my mom) it's not as ez to do.