It feels like forever since I've been on here. Well, probably bc it has. If I think about it not much has changed or happened but at the same time there definitely is change.
Things at home have been eh, OK. We were looking to buy a house...but long story short, it didn't go through. The homeowners are idiots! They bought their house for $119,000 put in a sprinker system and decided to put the house up for $150,000. I don't remember the exact lot size but it definitely was not worth the $150,000 they were asking. Granted it was fairly new (6 yrs). Anyway, we didn't bite as they had hoped and have put house hunting on the back burner.
I finally saw my adorable nephew labor day weekend. My brother, SIL, and three other friends went to visit my sister and her family in Philly that weekend. It was a short trip but I really only went so I could see and spend time with my nephew. Too bad he was sick with an ear infection the entire time but he's so good, you'd not know he was sick unless you were told. Everyone spent most of the time shopping. It was definitely different from my other trips when I go out to visit them.
HNY was good. I improvised with my hmong outfit and it worked out well. Got some new jewelry, met some new ppl, and ate some good food. The weather was AWESOME too! Couldn't have asked for a better ny!
I'm in my last year of school and just started my second class for this fall. My first class is a continuation of my Applied Research Project which I've had to submit my proposal I've drafted last week. This second class is a Financ and Governance class of institutions in higher education. I have a case study due in two or three weeks and a research paper due at the end of the semester not to mention my final proposal I have to submit. I can't believe I will be graduating next May! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!
So recently I've been VERY stressed! Y? My supervisor has finally announced her departure from our program. Her husband has taken a job...........
...in NC. She's been very honest with me from the beginning when they had him go down for training at the end of summer. He's been home a total of two weeks since then. At that point nothing was certain up until last week. They are trying to sell their house now (which they just bought last year) and she has been looking for a job. As soon as one of those things happens she is set to go or will leave at the end of the semester at the latest. So y am I stressed? She has approached me and encouraged that I apply for her director position. I have thought about it but the more that this is becoming real I more I am nervous. Grant year is coming up and I am honestly not confident in my writing skills. I don't want to mess up this grant and have our program go under or get denied. That's A LOT of pressure!!! There are many other things I know administrative
ly I have yet to experience or learn thus I have doubts whether or not I can do the job. Yes, I am definitely lacking confidence right now but more than anything I am simply scared. Fortnately, after my mental breakdown in her office yesterday (and meeting with a mentor and colleague) I was very surprised and flattered that many automatically assumed I'd step up to the plate. My supervisor assured me that everyone behind me is supportive and wanting me to take the next step. Again, that's A LOT of pressure. I feel like the the whole world is literally on my shoulders...an
d if I drop it.....BAM, it's over! If anything, I am scared but I really don't want to disappoint anyone.
I also have one dilema. The assistant director has been here since forever. He was even here when I was a student in the program. I know this is something I have to get over but I still see myself inferior to him. Although we are colleagues I do what I am expected of and he does the same. My supervisor thinks I will "get over" that if I am the director and in all reality it's not like I'll be pushing him around. We shared tasks and we use our talents to our advantage. He's had several tiimes to take the lead but has chosen not to. True.
Yes, I have a few things to think about indeed. I am meeting with another colleague who was the former advisor and coincidently, was my tutor when I was a student in the program. I feel talking to her, who has gone through this same situation, will help me make my decision. I sure hope so at least.
*sigh*
On a good note...seeing my sister and nephew again this weekend. I am picking them up at the airport so we can attend my uncle's funeral this weekend. It's going to be a long weekend and I'm literally at my sister's service. Eh. At least I'll see my lil man.