The poor deer

[HisBaby]

Friday, December 17, 2012

We hit a deer tonight.  He fell to the ground.  I stopped the car and about to get out, but he got up and ran away.  The poor thing; he got hurt badly.   

I was driving and looking straight ahead.  He ran from our right side right infront of the car.   

[HisBaby]

I read my journal.  I notice a pattern.  It starts out really happy, then it got sadder and sadder. 

I'm going to live without him and see if life brings much happiness to me. 

[HisBaby]

U can never be happy unless u face ur monster.

I'm the bird in the cage.  The cage isn't lock....I am free to fly but love ties down my heart.  So no matter where I am, I would return.  I have decided to face my monster....it's not the human monster, but the monster of my heart...the monster of love that tortures me mentally. 

In my journey, I hope to be strong but only to find out that my heart grows weak like the weather.  One day it's raining, one day it's filled with sun shine. 

The beautiful cage makes me happy, yet it is slowly killing me.

[HisBaby]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylxQo3JOKlo

"Let Me Be the One"

I came across this song on my husband's playlist.  I feel sadden by the song.  I wish that I have someone when I need him.  I wish that he loves me. 

Yim xav yim mob lub siab.   

[laib_laus]

The cage that never speaks
Yet the cage door is open
A heart that is tie down
But yet never too soft spoken

Free as a bird, but always return
Return to the point where it start
Where you think he’s monster
Which take your heart?

Now you’re asking for a savior
One which can be found
Only if you look hard enough
He will always be around

Open your heart to other
While letting the pass go
What you may find
Is more than you ever know?

[HisBaby]

The cage that never speaks
Yet the cage door is open
A heart that is tie down
But yet never too soft spoken

Free as a bird, but always return
Return to the point where it start
Where you think he’s monster
Which take your heart?

Now you’re asking for a savior
One which can be found
Only if you look hard enough
He will always be around

Open your heart to other
While letting the pass go
What you may find
Is more than you ever know?

This is truly sad.   

Only a heart will mend a broken heart. 

Show me how beautiful the world is
Lead me
Teach me to fly away and never return

[HisBaby]

Why must I be so sad at this moment?   

[laib_laus]

You can express yourself to heaven
Express yourself to deepest ocean
But if there is no love
Then there is not devotion

You can express yourself to the sky
Xpress yourself to earth
Again if there no love
Than it not worth fight for
 
Keep your eyes peel
One may come by for you to steal
Keeps yours open
He may be the real deal.

[HisBaby]

You can express yourself to heaven
Express yourself to deepest ocean
But if there is no love
Then there is not devotion

You can express yourself to the sky
Xpress yourself to earth
Again if there no love
Than it not worth fight for
Keep your eyes peel
One may come by for you to steal
Keeps yours open
He may be the real deal.

I've realized so, but my heart is deeply trapped.  I cannot seem to find the way out.  Each day I wait patiently to be free.  Some days I am hopeful to be free, other days I am hopeful for his love....then there's days like this moment where I am hopeless.

[laib_laus]

Trap like a parrot, but free as a bird
Listen to heart, open your ears and hear these couple words
Many has said but has no meaning and not true
Most people want to hear these few words  “I LOVE YOU”

Hearts are broken and hurts to bare
Never or less we all will over come our fear
Heart are broken and hurts so much
But feeling are never out of touch

Words are word and has no meaning
Without show emotion there is no feeling
Words are word and it has no beginning
But without truth and harmony their no dealing

[HisBaby]

Trap like a parrot, but free as a bird
Listen to heart, open your ears and hear these couple words
Many has said but has no meaning and not true
Most people want to hear these few words  “I LOVE YOU”

Hearts are broken and hurts to bare
Never or less we all will over come our fear
Heart are broken and hurts so much
But feeling are never out of touch

Words are word and has no meaning
Without show emotion there is no feeling
Words are word and it has no beginning
But without truth and harmony their no dealing

Thank you.  I will treasure your kindness and do my best to move on. 

[HisBaby]

We will always be at war with our hearts for it dictates our path. Im fighting with mine rightnow.

If I were you, I wouldn't even be fighting.  I would take the chance and fly as high as I can. 

[HisBaby]

I guess this is how it's like when we are drunk.  We acted out all crazy and then the next morning we wake up to something that we cannot recognize. 

Never go out drinking with someone......y ou might wake up and not remember how he gets on your bed. 

[HisBaby]

I'm glad that I become stronger these days.  Each time I face the storm, my heart becomes harder.  There was a big storm with heavy rain in my side of the world, but there was hope for a better tomorrow.  And today I see the sun shines with much meaning to life.

My memory only has 5% left of history.  I am positive that I will forget him.  Perhaps our time has truly come to an end.

[laib_laus]

I'm glad that I become stronger these days.  Each time I face the storm, my heart becomes harder.  There was a big storm with heavy rain in my side of the world, but there was hope for a better tomorrow.  And today I see the sun shines with much meaning to life.

My memory only has 5% left of history.  I am positive that I will forget him.  Perhaps our time has truly come to an end.

Still dwelling about the pass... the heartache... the lost... set your him and and if he comes back to you than his yourss, if he doesn't he was never your to begin with....