Random thoughts.
- I watched "Memoirs of a Geisha" a few days ago and while the film is so beautifully done and everything, all I could think of was, "Iaaaak, he's a pedophile ((the chairman). Eugh!"
- Sometimes when I see him I see a sadness in his eyes. There used to be a pleading look as if to say, "Give me another chance, I still want to be married to you." And when I would address him by name before, he would respond with a hopeful, "Yes???" as if hoping that I would say, "I want to get back together." But he knows that there is no way in hell I will ever look to the past. I think the sadness look these days is the knowing that no one else is ever going to do the things that I did for him. He has no one to rely on anymore to be his slave so that he can just sit back, relax, kick his feet, and enjoy the luxury. Nope, he's going to have to fend for himself after his mom. So sad that a grown ass man is back living with his mom. I heard he is not with his gf anymore either. I was wondering how long that was going to last. I was hoping it would be for a long time but I guess not. I should have known no other woman could ever put up with his narcissism, selfishness, thoughtlessnes s, etc. Anyway, I'm so sad for myself that I let myself take care of the man for so long when he offered nothing in return and added zero value to my life (in fact, he dragged me down so much--every chance I was able to get up for air he pulled me down into the depths of the ocean again). The day I was free of him was the happiest day of my life. But all of that aside, he is still the father of my children, so, I wish him nothing but good health and happiness. I hope he finds happiness. But most important of all, I hope that he finds clarity. I hope he grows up and understands that he has to take responsibility for himself and that no one on earth owes him anything. I hope he will learn to understand that he was never and is not the smartest person in the room and finally understands that other people think he's an idiot--he was just too self-absorbed to see and understand the social cues of others.
- I don't think I was unique in being with someone like my ex. So many other women are in my shoes. They end up with such a loser for a husband where they end up being both mom and dad to their children; where they alone bear the sole responsibility of the household and all finances. Where their loser husband comes and goes as he pleases as if he had no kids/no wife/no responsibiliti es. I think what these types of men have in common are: laziness, entitlement, pure selfishness, complete lack of responsibility, heartlessness/cold-hearted, thoughtlessnes s, etc. It's so easy to say to women who find themselves with men like these, "You are dumb for staying with a loser like him". It's always easier said than done, though. These men are the biggest manipulators and deceivers, if you didn't know. Often, they don't show their true selves to the women until their "entrapment" game has worked. They will let on that they are most loving/caring/supportive person. And only when they've trapped the women with children/marriage, only then will they show who they really are. And by that point, the women will want to try every way possible to hold on to their marriages for their children's sake (never for their own!). Only when the woman has lost all hope and realize it's a life or death situation (she either gets out or die of suffocation from being with a loser that will never change), will she leave him. So, don't be so quick to judge women that stay with losers. Often, they don't stay for themselves, they stay so that their children don't have to experience a broken home. But what many of these women fail to realize is that a broken home is the best thing that you can do for your children! Your children need a happy mom. Your children suffer twice as much when you stay with their useless and pathetic dad.